Fifty Shades Later
by CoCoKins
Summary: Ana and Christian were childhood friends for a short time and two years apart in age. What happens when circumstances separate them and then they get reunited? Will they remember the friendship they shared and will it grow to something more?
1. Chapter 1: The Park

_~Twelve Years Earlier~_

I walk from Elena's house back to my own feeling refreshed and sated. I have calmed significantly from the rage I felt earlier at school. I don't understand girls. I have no doubt that I am handsome, even at the age of fifteen. Every girl will act as if they want me and then when the time comes they can't deal with the shit that comes with me. Whatever. I don't want a normal relationship anyway. What I have with Elena is all I need. She understands me like no one else ever will.

I walk past the park when I hear a little girl's shrill cry. _"STOP!" _

I turn to see what's going on when I spot three boys surrounding a small girl. She is cowering in the middle of the small group of boys in the fetal position. I cross the street to get a better look at what's going on.

"Shut up Steele." The bigger boy kicks his foot and causes dirt to fling in her face.

"Leave me alone!" The little girl yells and the boy closest to her pulls her hair.

Normally I would just keep walking as this is none of my business, but something about the little girl is so helpless that I want nothing more than to help her. I feel my normal rage consume me as I run over to the group of bastards attacking this poor girl. I grab the biggest one by the shoulder spin him around and punch him so hard that I feel his nose crunch under my fist. The other two are startled and I see the look of fear in their eyes.

"What? Afraid of someone your own size?" I ask them. "Get your friend and get out of here and I better not ever see you picking on her again."

They grab the boy, whose nose is bleeding profusely, and drag him away.

I turn to see that the little girl is still cowering and inching away from me. She is crying and whimpering and I feel pity for her. I extend my hand to help her up and she flinches.

"I'm not going to hurt you. I just want to help. Please."

She uncovers her face and finally looks up at me and my breath catches in my throat. She has the most beautiful icy blue eyes I have ever seen. She wipes her face on her sleeve and reaches for my hand. I pull her to her feet and we just stare at each other.

'Thank you," she whispers and looks down at her hands, twisting them back and forth in her shirt.

I wave her off. "It's nothing. What's your name?"

She peeks up at me through her long brown hair and murmurs, "Anastasia. Anastasia Steele."

I'm so enchanted by her eyes and that sexy mane of hair that I almost miss what she says. Anastasia. That's so beautiful. I've never met a girl with that name before. I look her up and down and she is not the little girl I thought she was. She is very small but taller than what I expected for one so slight, but she is still several inches shorter than me. She has on a gray hoodie and loose pants and a pair of black converse sneakers. I wonder what she looks like under all that…

"Are you going to tell me your name?" She asks me softly.

"I'm Christian. Do you always walk around alone? Obviously it's not safe for you to be out here by yourself." I frown at her. She should learn to be more careful.

She looks me full in the face and I see her eyes flash with annoyance. "I'm 13 years old. I can take care of myself thank you!" She snaps at me.

"Yeah, because you were handling the situation so spectacularly," I snort sarcastically.

She looks at me wounded and murmurs sadly, "I have to go home now."

Shit I hurt her feelings. She starts to walk away and I grab her hand. "Wait. Look I'm sorry I'm being an asshole. That was rude of me. Friends?" _Friends?!_ Where the hell did that come from? I don't need friends and if Elena caught me so much as breathe in another girl's direction she would beat the seven shades of shit out of me. I shudder with pleasure on the inside when I think of being in her playroom. She is so hot. I look back at the girl in front of me and forget all about Elena. I would like to be Anastasia's friend.

"How old are you?" She asks suddenly.

"I'm 15. Why?" Is that too old? It's just two years. I think that's okay.

She looks down at her hands again and I realize I'm sweating, waiting on her answer.

She looks back at me and says, "My friends call me Ana."

I smile brightly at her and what that sentence means. "Well Ana. I'm glad we're friends," and she returns my smile with her own beautiful one.


	2. Chapter 2: Revelations

I flop down on my bed with a huge smile on my face. _Gray eyes. _That is the most beautiful color I have ever seen on anyone. I've been told that my eyes are nice but _those _eyes are absolutely enchanting. He wants to be my friend. I smile even wider. The only friend I have is Kate and she moved to Portland last year so I hardly ever see her anymore. I miss her so much. She was the only one I could talk to and most of the time I couldn't even tell her everything. It would be nice to have someone to talk to about_ him. _Stephen or, as I call him, husband number three. I know this marriage won't last that long, but God how I miss Ray and living with him in Montesano. This guy is absolutely awful. I think mom is afraid to divorce him. Ray is filing for full custody of me, but seeing as how he isn't my biological parent it's taking longer for them to agree on whether to give me to him or not because, of course, mom fought back. I roll my eyes at the ceiling. Can't she see how miserable I am here? I hate him.

"Carla!" Uh oh. He's home. I quickly jump up to lock my door, but it's too late. He slams open the door and knocks me down.

"Where the fuck is Carla?"

"She called earlier and said she'd be working late," I whisper.

He looks me up and down with that gleam in his eye. Oh God. Please. Not tonight.

He closes my door and goes over to sit on my bed and pats his lap. "Come here Ana and sit on daddy's lap."

_You're not my daddy. _Daddies didn't do this to their daughters and moms sure as hell didn't let them.

I know there is no point in arguing as it will only anger him so I do as I'm told although truthfully I'd much rather him hit me.

I sit on his lap and he starts to play with my hair and says, "You're so pretty baby. I love your hair," and that's when I begin to cry.

He turns me to straddle his lap and says, "Aw come now don't cry," and that only makes me cry harder. My tears succeed in angering him and he fists his hand in my hair and pulls hard before he grabs my hand and shoves it into the seat of his pants.

"Look at what you do to me you little bitch!" He screams in my face. He grabs a fist full of my hair and yanks my head back. "You walk around here and tease me. I know what you're doing. And now I want to give you what you've been asking for and you cry?!" He throws me on the bed and yanks my pants down to my knees. I try to fight him off, but my legs are trapped in my pants so I begin to scream even though I know that no one can hear me. He slaps me hard across my face then closes his hand around my throat, cutting off my air supply. "Shut the fuck up!" Then he tries to shove two of his enormous fingers inside of me, but I am still trying to fight him. He slaps me again in the same spot making me see stars and squeezes my neck tighter. I kick at him and when I start to see black spots I know I'm about to lose consciousness. He finally gives up and releases my throat and stands. He gives me a venomous look then turns and leaves. I roll to my side and curl up in a ball and cry. I close my eyes and I see gray eyes staring back at me. I hope I dream of him.

I am at the park again today, but I don't see her. Maybe she forgot that we were supposed to meet up today. I am having a very good day. There was no incident at school and Elena let me choose what scene we did in the playroom today for being a "good boy." I asked her if I could use the riding crop on her sweet ass and she slapped the shit out of me, but I did convince her to let me tie her to the bed so I could fuck her. She likes it hard and I know she does even though she won't come out and say it, but that's how she trains me to please her. She said I would make a decent Dom one day, but that day is a long way away. I wonder what Ana would think of what we do. Ana. Where the hell is she? I look around and that's when I spot her. She is walking quickly up the sidewalk with her head down, her hair is a curtain around her face. I run to catch up with her.

"Hey!" I grab her hand to pull her to a stop. She doesn't turn to look at me, but her head dips down lower, if that's even possible. "Where are you going? I thought we were meeting up here today."

"I have to go home," she whispers. I don't understand.

"Why? I thought it was alright for you to come to the park. Will you turn around and talk to me?" She shakes her head and tries to keep walking, but I hold her hand tighter and spin her around and that's when I see the huge bruise on the side of her face. What the fuck happened to her?! I try to caress her face and she flinches back from me. "Ana for God's sake I'm not going to hurt you! Just let me see it." She raises her head slowly and looks at me. The bruise is enormous. It is black and purple spanning almost the entire right side of her face. "Who the fuck did this to you?"

She looks down at her hands and backs away from me. "I should really go home." No. She isn't going anywhere until I get answers.

I pull her by the hand and take her into the park and sit her on the swing. I sit in the swing next to her and say, "Okay. We'll play a game. I ask you something and you answer completely and fully and then you can ask me something and I'll do the same. Deal?" She looks at me skeptically for a few moments before she reluctantly nods. "Okay. Who hit you and why? Was it those guys from yesterday? I swear to God if they hurt you Ana—"

"That's more than one question and no it wasn't them."

"You can't choose to answer the last question. Answer the first one."

"It was my mom's husband."

What the hell?! "He hits you? What else does he do?"

"I believe it's my turn now."

Shit. She's right. "Okay. Ask me something." There isn't anything for her to want to know.

"Who is that pretty blonde lady who lives in the house you came from today? I saw her kiss you…"

What the fuck?! She saw me with Elena? "When did you see this?"

"You didn't answer the question."

"Tell me when you saw this and I will."

"That's not fair." When I just glower at her she finally says, "Today when I was walking home. I didn't want you to see me so I hid behind a tree."

Should I tell her about Elena? I've never told anyone about what we do and who she is to me.

"This was your game," she reminds me. "You have to answer me unless you're going to break your own rules," she whispers.

I sigh and say "Elena is… my Dom." Wait what? That wasn't the lie I thought of in my head! I can't believe I just blurted out the truth like that. Elena is going to beat the shit out of me when she finds out.

"Your what?"

"It's my turn," I mutter, glad that she doesn't understand, but I know she won't let this go.

"You didn't answer completely and fully. You said—"

"Alright!" I sigh and I try to explain to her about the BDSM lifestyle, but I don't think that she quite understands. She is quiet for a long time and I know that this is probably the end of our friendship. _Way to go Grey. You had a friend for 24 hours. That's a new record. _"Say something."

"I just don't get it. She's so… Old!"

I laugh. This is not what I expect her to say. "Yes she is, but she's really hot though."

"But wouldn't you prefer someone your own age?" She whispers and looks away.

"No one my age can deal with me. I'm too fucked up. Anyway, it's my turn to ask a question. Does your mom know what your stepdad does to you?"

"Yes," and that's all she says.

"Elaborate Ana."

She rolls her eyes and I grab her chin and make her look at me the same way Elena does me. "Don't ever roll your eyes at me again."

Her eyes widen and then I see that flare of annoyance as she bats my hand away. "Hate to burst your bubble, but I'm not into your BDSM shit and you can't talk to me like that." She stands and moves down one swing so that there is one in between us. I am confused. Whenever Elena does this to me it scares the shit out of me because I know of the punishment to come. Why isn't she scared?

"My mom knows, but she doesn't do anything about it. She's afraid of him. But when he tries to… do bad things to me she always stops him and then they go to their room. Later she comes to my room and tells me how sorry she is and sings to me until I fall asleep. I hate her sometimes, but I can't really blame her for being afraid of that sick bastard. My dad Ray is trying to adopt me, but my mom doesn't want me to go. I couldn't understand why, but now I think she doesn't want to be alone with him."

"That's selfish. She can't make you stay there if he's hurting you. And what do you mean when he tries to do bad things? What kind of things does he try to do? Hitting you is bad enough."

"It's my turn to ask a question."

"Swear to God Ana! Just tell me!"

"No it's my turn! You said—"

"I know what I fucking said!" I yell at her.

She flinches from my outburst and looks down. She stands and mutters something about having to go home and before I can stop her she turns to leave.

I watch her walk up the street and I wait until she turns the corner before I follow her. She walks for a while before she turns down another street that turns into a cul-de-sac. She goes in the house in the middle and closes the door. There is a tree on the side of the house that leans over a window. I climb it and see if I can see inside. A light turns on in the room and I see her close the door and lock it. I watch her kick off her shoes and take off her hoodie and fall face first on her bed. I knock on the window and it seems to startle her. When she looks out and sees me she opens the window and say, "What are you doing here?"

"Can I come in? It's freezing out here."

"No you can't come in. How do you know where I live?"

"I followed you home just now."

"So you're stalking me now?"

I shrug and grin which makes her grin back. "Come in before you fall."

I climb in the window and I'm almost inside, but my foot catches on the window sill and I tumble inside and fall on her. She hits her head on the floor and looks up at me with her normal flare of annoyance before it gives way to something else. I stare into her icy blue eyes and I lower my head to kiss her. Her mouth is as soft as I thought it was. She is surprised at first and then she kisses me back, but the moment is broken when she reaches up to touch my chest. I fling myself backward and way from her. She looks at me confused and surprised.

"I'm sorry. Did I do something wrong?"

"You touched me. I don't like when people touch me."

"Oh." She looks down dejectedly. And we sit in silence for a bit before she says softly, "I don't like when people pull my hair."

I look up at her startled by her revelation. She looks back at me and explains. "Stephen pulls my hair all the time. It hurts pretty badly. So I don't like when other people do it either."

I smile slightly at her and she smiles back. I never understood girls because I thought they didn't understand me, but perhaps I have been talking to the wrong ones.

"Come here." She crawls to me and I place her in my lap and hug her to me. I am not sure how long we sit this way, but the room starts to darken and I hear voices downstairs.

"Carla! Get the fuck down here!"

Ana squirms on me and looks at me with a horrified expression. "You have to leave!"

Before I can respond the doorknob jiggles. "Ana! Open this fucking door you little bitch!"

"Stephen please just leave her alone."

"This is my house and I can go in whatever fucking room I want to! She doesn't pay the bills here so she doesn't get to lock me out! Open the damn door!"

Ana scrambles up and takes me with her and then shoves me in the closet and tells me not to make any noise before she slides the door closed. She flips the light on and I can see through a small slit in the door. She opens the door for the monster on the other side.

"What have I told you about locking the door?" She doesn't answer she just looks at him. "Answer me!" Still she says nothing. Then I watch in horror as he slaps her so hard across her face that she stumbles three steps backwards before she falls. I am so full of rage that I have no idea how I stay in my position. The only thought that keeps me from bursting free from that closet was the thought of me making things worse for Ana and I could never forgive myself if she got hurt because of me.

I see a woman standing there crying, but saying nothing until the man leans over her and starts to fumble with her jeans. I am about to go fuck him up when the woman moves forward and says, "Stephen! Wait. Just take it out on me. She didn't mean it. Come to the room with me. Please." She rubs on his back in what looks to be a sensual caress, but she is too frightened for it to take its full effect. The man looks at her and says, "Fine, but you can't keep saving this little man teasing bitch forever!" He stands and kicks her in the side before he leaves, slamming the door behind him.

I exit the closet and rush over to Ana who is on the floor crying silently. I pull her up and put her in her bed under the covers before I kick my shoes off and climb in behind her. I stay until she falls asleep before I go home. I don't know if I should tell my parents about her. She might get mad at me. I don't want her to be mad at me, but I also don't want her in the same house as that sick fucker. I have to do something, but what?


	3. Chapter 3: Separated

A/N: Thank you guys so much for your comments and reviews. I apologize for not making the break in between the points of view very clear in chapter two. That was an accident. I wanted to let you know that it will be a few chapters (maybe one or two more) before I set the story in the present. I want to explain a few things before we get there. I'm glad you guys are liking it so far and if there are any suggestions you have just let me know and I'll see what I can do. With that being said, enjoy this chapter.

It's been two weeks since the incident at Ana's house and we haven't really talked about it other than her telling me that she was fine when I asked if she was alright. We have hung out every day for the past two weeks, but today escalated from bad to worse. School went by incredibly slow because I was so anxious to get to Ana. I have a surprise for her. When school was over I nearly forgot that I had to go to Elena's in my rush to get to Ana until I walked right past her house. She had to call my name three times before I heard her.

"Christian!"

I turn to look at the source of the shrill voice calling my name. I look around in annoyance until I see Elena standing on her enormous front porch looking very beautiful and very pissed off.

"Just where do you think you're going?" She puts one hand on her hip and the other on the banister of the porch and drums her immaculately manicured nails and waits for my answer. Yes. She is very pissed off.

"I was just headed home," I lie. "I have a lot of homework to get finished. I know how you want me to keep my grades up and I don't want to fall behind."

"And you thought that you would just go home and not tell me where you were or what you were doing? I would have been worried sick about you."

I shift in annoyance. Right now all I want to do is get to Ana. "Christian you've been acting very strange for the past couple of weeks. Is there something I should know?" She clicks her nails waiting.

"No."

Even from the distance I'm standing from her I can see her eyes darken. "Excuse me?"

I stare at her and she glares right back at me until the fierceness of her gaze forces me into submission the way it always does. I look down and bow my head. "No mistress." I learned early that she hates to be called ma'am because it makes her feel old. When she first told me that I snorted and told her she was old. That didn't go down very well with her.

She walks down the steps and comes to stand in front of me. I see her black sky high heels and her shapely legs and I get hard immediately. She knows what she's doing and I don't have time for it. I really want to get to Ana, but Elena is so enticing. I want to go in her playroom and let her fuck me so we'll both feel better, but I don't have time. I have to show Ana the place I found for us to start hanging out at and we need to talk about getting her out of that house. I have kept quiet about those bruises long enough. Every day there is a new one and it's killing me to see her this way.

"Look at me Christian." I look up into that beautiful face, but where I expect to see icy blue, I see forest green. I frown unintentionally because I feel something unsettling in the pit of my stomach. I have always loved looking into Elena's eyes, when I was allowed to, but now I'd rather look into Ana's. "Get in the house and assume the position Christian and stop frowning."

"Ele— Mistress. I really have to go. I can't stay."

"Alright Christian. You can leave. But first I want you to tell me why."

"I already told you why," I snap, annoyed that she wants me to repeat myself. She slaps me. Hard.

"Don't you dare talk to me like that." I look down at the ground. "And I know what you said, but I also know you're lying to me. Now get in the house or so help me Christian I will drag you in there and the punishment," she grabs my face and forces me to look at her. "Will not. Be. Pretty."

FUCK! Why is this so hot to me? No. I want Ana. I need to get to her. She's waiting.

"Well?"

I sigh and walk up the steps to the house and go inside. I enter the playroom and drop my backpack in the corner. I strip out of all of my clothes and kneel by the door with my hands on my thighs and my head bowed. Ten minutes later Elena enters in a black leather corset, black lace panties, and knee high stiletto boots with a whip in her hand. This is going to be bad. I can already tell, but in the back of my mind all I can think is that I chose Elena over Ana and whatever punishment Elena gives me can't hurt me worse than knowing that she is there waiting for me and I won't come.

I have been sitting on this swing for two hours going back and forth waiting for him. I know I should probably just go home because I know he isn't coming. Where is he? I hope he's alright. I sigh and I get up from the swing when I see him running down the street adjusting his clothes. He runs up to me, grabs me by my face and kisses me hard. I am shocked because he hasn't kissed me since the day he fell into my room and this kiss is nothing like that one. This kiss is filled with regret and shame. The emotions on him are so potent that I can almost smell them. Actually I do smell something. Is that perfume? I pull away from him and before I can say anything he starts talking.

"Ana baby I'm so sorry." Baby? "I'm so late and I'm sorry. I got… held up. Come on. I want to take you somewhere and show you something." He grabs my hand, but I pull away.

"Where have you been? I was worried something might have happened to you."

"I told you. I got held up. It was nothing. Come on Ana." He reaches for me again and like before I pull away.

"I've been sitting here waiting for you for two hours and that's all the explanation I get?"

He sighs and rakes his hand through his hair, a nervous habit I've noticed that he does when he's annoyed or stressed. "I just had to take care of something Ana."

"Were you with her? That woman? That's why you didn't come? Because you'd been with her?" I don't mean to make is sound like an accusation, but he keeps sending me mixed signals. Either he wants to be with me or he'll keep fucking her, but he can't have us both.

"Ana don't make a big deal out of this."

"Were. You. With. Her?"

He looks at me a bit cautiously before he says, "Yes, I was with her."

"I see. Goodnight Christian." I turn to walk away, but I know he will follow me.

"Ana wait!" He catches up to me and grabs my arm. "You told me you understood our relationship. You said you wouldn't judge me."

"Yes I did tell you that and I meant it. But I can't help but see her for what she is; a child molester."

"That isn't how it is and you know it," he says angrily.

"Do I Christian? I have lived in that house with Stephen for almost three years so don't you dare tell me what I know. She may not try to force you into anything, but she's not better than him. What kind of grown woman in her thirties gets pleasure from having sex with and abusing a fifteen year old boy? You need to wake up and smell the fucking coffee Christian. She's using you!"

The look in Christian's eye makes me back up a step. He looks so angry that I actually think he might strike me. "Elena saved me and if that's what you think of her then maybe being friends was a mistake."

It's like a slap in the face. I look at him with a hurt look and say, "Well maybe it was." I look down at the ground and knot my finger together.

I hear him sigh and say, "Look Ana—"

"Are you going to introduce me to your little friend Christian?"

I look up to see the pretty blonde lady named Elena. I look at Christian and I see the fear in his eyes. "Elena. This is my friend Ana." He doesn't turn to look at her, but he bows his head.

"H-hi," I stammer. She doesn't even look at me.

"I knew you were lying Christian. Why? Why do you like to upset me?" She pets his hair in a faux caress. Then I see her touch his back. _So it's alright for her to touch you but I can't?! _"You are in so much trouble."

I feel my eyes widen and my heart pick up speed. "Please don't hurt him. I'm sorry. This is my fault. Please don't punish him."

Christian flashes me a murderous look and I know I have just made things worse. "So you've told her? Christian, Christian, Christian. Whatever will I do with you? Go get in the car." He turns without another glance or word to me and goes to her black Mercedes that is parked at the end of the street. Then she turns her gaze on me and it is as cold as ice. She walks up to me and puts a hand in my hair and pulls slightly, but hard enough to hurt and I begin to panic. I see Christian pause outside of the open passenger door with a worried look on his face, but he does nothing to help.

"I want you to listen to me and you had better listen good missy. If I catch you near him again you will be subject to pain by the likes of which you have never felt before. I have never had a female submissive so if you would not like to be my first then I suggest that you not fuck with me. And if you so much as breathe a word of this or our relationship to anyone I will destroy you. Are we clear?"

I nod as much as I'm allowed and she releases me. "Good. I'm glad we understand each other," she says as sweet as honey, but I know she is anything but. I watch her walk away and Christian gives me one last look before he ducks into the car and they drive away, leaving me alone to cry in the middle of the park.

I am in bed later that night and I am almost asleep when I hear a small tap on my window. I look up to see Christian staring at me. I get up and open the window and lie back down. He climbs in and closes the window. He makes sure the door is locked before he joins me in my bed. He kisses my cheek and apologizes for being so fucked up. I say nothing. I just lay there and cry.

_~Ten Years Earlier~_

I am hanging upside down on the monkey bars in the park swinging back and forth when I hear him. I open my eyes and see him standing inches from my face. "Aren't you a little too old for monkey bars birthday girl?" I giggle and climb down.

"Swear to God that's the most beautiful sound in the whole world." He tells me this often, but it only succeeds in making me blush. Christian and I have been friends for two year now. He wanted to go further, but I told him as long as he continued to see that God awful woman then he was not ever allowed to kiss me again, let alone date me. I think we are good as friends, but God how I want him to quit her and come to me. But I can't force him to do anything so I'll just have to wait.

"So, what are we doing today?" It's a Saturday evening and it's lovely weather if not unusual for early September in Seattle.

"I want to take you somewhere special, but you have to promise not to freak out."

"Where are we going?"

"Well if I told you then it wouldn't be a surprise." He gives me his best smile and I can't help but be affected. In the past two years I have watched Christian grow from a boy to a man while I lag behind. He is absolutely beautiful. No wonder that woman sank her claws in him so deep and refuses to let go. "Come on, let's go." He grabs my hand and takes me to his new BMW that he got for his birthday back in June and we hit the road. He pulls up in front of this beautiful, humongous house.

"Wow. Who lives here?"

He looks at me warily and says, "I do."

"You want me to meet your parents?!" I can't. I'm not the type of girl you bring home.

"I thought that would make you uncomfortable. No. There's no one home. I want to show you something, but you have to put this on." He holds up a blindfold. Oh what does he have in mind? I turn so that he can put the blindfold around my eyes. He ties it and brushes my hair back. I feel him lean in and kiss my ear and I shudder all over. I hear him inhale deeply for a moment before he gets out of the car. He comes around and opens my door and leads me up the driveway and into the house. Once inside I feel him moving me deeper inside and I hear another door opening before I feel us step back outside.

"Are you ready?" He asks me softly.

"Yes," I whisper.

He unties the blindfold and I am standing in front of the most gorgeous view of the Sound at sunset.

"Christian! It's beautiful!"

"A beautiful view for a beautiful girl." I see something dangle in front of my face and then I feel his hands clasp the object at the back of my neck and then sweep my hair out of the way. I look down to see a gorgeous silver necklace with a single diamond hanging from it. "Happy birthday Ana," he whispers and then he turns me around and kisses me.

Christian drops me off at home and I tell him I'll see him tomorrow and I wave goodbye to him as he drives away. I go inside my house and I see Ray sitting on the couch.

"Daddy!" I scream.

"Happy birthday Annie." He hugs me tightly before releasing me and says "I have a birthday present for you baby."

"What is it?" I ask, crying and laughing at the same time.

"I got custody of you honey. We're going home tonight."

I smile big at him and I run upstairs and start packing. He comes in and helps me while my mother stands at the door looking defeated. I am putting my things in Ray's UHAUL when my elation fades. Christian. I have to leave him behind. I am about to tell my dad when I see Stephen. Ray shakes his head and looks back at me. "You ready honey?"

I nod at him and I can't get in the car and away from this house fast enough. I ask Ray to stop by Christian's house and I give him the address.

I knock on the door and a pretty lady with a kind face answers.

"May I help you?"

"Hi. Umm. Is Christian home?"

She looks at me puzzled. "No not right now. Are you a friend of his?"

"Yes ma'am I am. Could you please give this to him?" I hand her the note that I wrote on the way over on the off chance that he wouldn't be home.

"Of course. What did you say your name was?" She is looking at me with something beyond interest. It almost looks like excitement. Why?

"Anastasia. Anastasia Steele."

She smiles brightly at me and she looks like an angel. "I'm Grace. Grace Trevelyan-Grey." Shit! His mother!

"Thank you Mrs. Grey." I turn to leave.

"Wait! Would you like to wait for him? Maybe come in and have a bite to eat?"

"No thank you. I have to go. My dad is waiting."

She looks sad now. "Oh. Well alright. I do hope I get the chance to see you again. It was a pleasure to meet you Anastasia." She smiles kindly at me again.

"Thank you ma'am. It was a pleasure to meet you as well."

I climb back in the car with my dad and we take off. I look behind me at the receding house sadly, trying not to cry, wondering if I will ever see Christian again. My best friend. My only friend.


	4. Chapter 4: Reunion

A/N: Alright guys. I think I've tortured you long enough. :) The first half of this chapter is a little sad, but it gets much better. So by popular demand this is the chapter that you've been waiting for. Enjoy!

* * *

_~Ten Years Earlier~_

I drive away from Ana's place feeling overjoyed that she allowed me to kiss her today. I'm not happy about leaving her in that hellhole. Every time I used to bring up the subject she would just get mad at me. One day we had a huge argument about it and she said that she respected me enough not to tell anyone about Elena's abuse so I shouldn't say anything about hers. Well played Ana. So here we are, two years later, keeping each other's secrets, but I don't want to keep her a secret any longer. I told Mia about her and she was so excited. I told her that she couldn't tell anyone yet because I was going to introduce her to everyone tomorrow as my girlfriend, whether she fucking likes it or not. I feel a smile split my face as I imagine how she will react to this. I won't tell her until there is no possible way for her to back out. I've always wanted things this way with her, but starting things with her means I have to end things with Elena. So here goes nothing.

I knock on Elena's door and she answers almost immediately. "We need to talk."

"Of course Christian, come in."  
I decline and just tell her what I need to say. "Elena I can't do this anymore."

She looks at me puzzled. "You can't do what?"

"I can't be your sub. I want to be with Ana now."

She is still quite confused and then clarity takes over her features. "Ah I see. You're ready to become a Dom and you want to take her as your first sub! Why Christian I am so proud of you!"

"No Elena I want her to be my girlfriend and she won't do that unless I stop seeing you. So this is the end between us. Please terminate my contract. Goodbye and thank you for everything." I turn to leave and I hear her say, "Love is for fools Christian. I hope you remember that. I won't terminate your contract because I don't need to. You'll be back. A girl like her is going to run from you. She can't handle what you want to give her. Mark my word Christian Grey. You will be back." And with that she turns and goes back in her house. I shake my head and get in my car and head home.

I turn onto my street and I see a big UHAUL truck leaving the house. That's strange. I don't think much about it until I get in the house and my mom says, "A girl came by here to see you."

"A girl? What girl?" It can't be Ana. She's too shy.

"She said her name was Anastasia and that she is a friend of yours. She also left you this note." My mom extends her hand and there is a small folded piece of paper lying in her palm. I take it to read it and everyone is staring at me.

"Thanks mom," I say nervously as she looks at me anxiously.

"Well? What does it say? I've been dying to know.

I roll my eyes and begin to read Ana's note and I feel like my heart has been ripped from my chest.

_Christian,_

_I'm so sorry that I didn't get to tell you this in person as it just happened when you dropped me off at home._

_I am leaving with my dad Ray. He adopted me. So I guess we both got what we always wanted._

_I hope that you do amazing things in life and that you won't forget me just in case I don't get to see you again. _

_It has been my pleasure to be called your best friend. I will miss you._

_Love, Ana xo_

"Christian!" I hear my mom scream my name, but I can't respond even though I know she is yelling at me because I am shaking with fury. I know I am, but how can I not? I can't be angry with her. I am glad that she got out of that house, but dammit I want her to be here with us. I can't breathe and I need to sit down. I am so pissed right now, but I don't understand why. I want her to be safe and happy, but I will be miserable here alone. I reread the note and I see that the end reads _Love, Ana, _but she does not mention that she loves me, not even once. _But I never told her that I loved her either._ Elena was right. Love is for fools. I stand and shove the note in my pocket and leave the house.

"Christian, where are you going?"

"Out," is all the response I give her. I need to calm down before I hurt someone and I have to do it the only way I know how.

I find myself back at Elena's, knocking on her door. She answers and gives me a knowing, sad look.

"Get in the playroom and assume the position." She strokes my cheek and says, "I'll help you forget her."

Once I leave Elena's I feel much better. Actually I feel numb. She said that is the process of forgetting. Do I want to forget Ana? I haven't decided yet. Elena says that I need to repress the memories to the point where if I saw her on the street I wouldn't even recognize her. I can do that. It hurts too much to think about her. I know that this isn't her fault. The rational side of me knows this. But the stubborn possessive side of me won't listen. She left me. She fucking left me! How could she do this to me? To us? I go up to my room and for the first time in thirteen years I cry myself to sleep. I will forget her and I won't allow anyone to hurt me this way _ever _again.

_~Present Day~_

"Golf this week, Grey?" Claude Bastille grins at me because he knows I fucking hate golf. I scowl at him and he laughs and turns to leave. I am standing in my office looking out at the great view of Seattle, but not really seeing it. Today is September 10, 2013 and this specific date has me in a very, _very_ foul mood, but I don't understand why. I feel like I should be doing something with someone, but I'm not. I run my hand through my hair and think and I feel the memory right on the edge of my brain, but it refuses to come forward and only succeeds in giving me a headache which just pisses me off more. I need to get home and call my sub Leila and be done with this shit. I am on edge and I feel like I will break at any minute.

My PA Andrea comes in to tell me that it is now five forty-five and she is wondering if she can go home as she has plans. Normally this would piss me off, but I have bigger fish to fry right now so I tell her to go home.

Taylor comes in and asks me if I am ready to go and I tell him to give me five minutes and we can head over to SIP, the publishing company I bought a few months ago. I have gotten some complaints about some fucker named Jack Hyde who has been sexually harassing the staff. I need to go see about this before it gets out of control and I have a lawsuit on my hands.

We drive over and as soon as we pull up I see a woman dressed in a white blouse, a black pencil skirt, and black high heels. Her shirt has been ripped open and her beautiful brown hair is all over her head. She sinks down to the ground with her head in her hands and begins to cry. Something in me causes me to go into a rage as I see this poor woman cry. I rush to get out of the car and I crouch down in front of the woman.

"Miss? What happened? Can you tell me what's going on in there?"

"He tried to rape me," she whispers through her hands. "Why does this keep happening to me?"

"Who tried to rape you?"

"My boss Jack Hyde."

"Taylor. Go in there and have a little conversation with Mr. Hyde. And after you do, tell him I said he's fired."

"Yes, Mr. Grey." Taylor rushes in the building as I attended to the woman in front of me.

"Ma'am, can you stand?" She nods and I help her to her feet. She is still looking at the ground shaking her head and mumbling.

"I never meant to encourage him or make him think I was attracted to him. I never mean to make anyone think that. I probably am asking for it. What is wrong with me?"

I have heard enough. "Miss this is not your fault. He is a sick fucker who needs to be taught a lesson. Please don't beat yourself up over this. Would you like to press charges?"

She finally raises her head to look at me and I am met with the most beautiful pair of icy blue eyes. I know those eyes. But where have I seen them?

I hear her sharp intake of air as she looks at me. What's wrong with her? I need to break this spell. "Would you like to have a seat in the car?"

She nods and I help her inside just as Taylor is coming from the building followed by two security guards who are escorting Hyde from the building with a box of his belongings.

"Hyde you are being terminated from your position here so get the fuck out," I tell him.

"That cock-sucking bitch is a man tease and I hope someone gives her exactly what she's been asking me for, for three fucking years! I hate you, you little dick blowing slut!" I lose what little hold I have on my temper and I punch the shit out of him. No one talks to a lady that way and especially not this one. She's been through enough shit in her life. _How do you know that Grey? _

"Don't you say another fucking word to or about her or you'll be going to the hospital tonight." He gets up and with one last look at this beautiful lady, he leaves.

I turn to her and she is crying again. "Miss, where do you live? We'll take you home."

"That's not necessary. I only stay a few blocks from here. I can walk," she whispers.

"Nonsense. I really don't think that's a good idea anyway. Give Taylor your address and we'll get you home safely Miss… I don't think I caught your name."

She gives me a startled look and then it turns quickly to hurt. I am confused by it. She looks down and mutters, "Steele. Anastasia Steele."

I feel the ground fall away from me as those simple three words bring back a shit load of memories. Ana. My Ana. I look at her and she stares right back at me and then I see a small smile on her lips. "Hello Christian."

I don't fucking believe it.

* * *

I can't believe he doesn't remember me! After everything we've been through he can't look into the eyes that he used to tell me were unforgettable and remember who the fuck I am?! I don't believe this!

After I tell him my name that's when realization seems to dawn on him. Well it's about fucking time, Grey! I give him a small smile and I say his name to let him know that I remembered him instantly! Bastard.

"Ana?"

"That's my name. So are you going to stand here all night gawking at me or are you going to give me a ride home like you promised?" The adrenaline from the earlier events and the bad memories are draining away and I am feeling like my usual irritated self. I'm tired and I want to go home.

I see coldness drift into his stare before he masks it and closes my door. He goes around to the other side and says something to his driver before he climbs in the back with me and we start to move.

"I didn't give you the directions to my place."

"We won't need them. You aren't going home tonight. You have some explaining to do Miss Steele."

"You're kidnapping me?!"

"It would appear so." He gives me a sideways look and I see him smirk at me and I roll my eyes, but as soon as I do it I know what's coming next. He grabs my chin and says, "Didn't we talk about that Ana? If you roll your eyes at me again you won't like what happens next." Did he just threaten me?

I swat his hand away and say, "Hate to break it to you Grey, but as I told you before I'm not your submissive and you can't control me with threats." I see his driver's eyebrows fly up in the rearview mirror.

"I didn't threaten you. I warned you. Submissive or not, if you roll your eyes at me again I will take you over my knee which, quite frankly, is much better than what you really deserve. I'm so fucking mad at you right now I don't know what I want to do with you or myself, so sit there and be quiet while I think."

"I almost got raped just now and you're mad at me?! What the hell did I ever do to you?"

"For starters that sick fuck said you'd been 'asking for it' for three years, meaning you've worked for him for three years, which means you've been in Seattle under my fucking nose for three years! Not to mention working at a company that I have owned for nearly six fucking months and I had no idea that you were here nor did you try to contact me. Second," he interrupts when I would have spoken. "Today is your birthday and you're at work." What did that have to do with anything? Wait. He remembered my birthday? "And last, but certainly not least you fucking LEFT ME!" I jump as he yells this last part at me. "I haven't seen you in ten years! Ten long, hard, shitty years Ana. And you have the nerve to ask me why I'm mad at you?! Well Miss Steele, that's a long list of grievances and we have all night and all weekend for you to fucking make it up to me." We sit in silence for a moment before he gives me a sideways look and smirks.

"What?" I whisper.

"You have certainly… changed Miss Steele." I look at him confused and to emphasize his point he runs his hand up my leg and ends on my thigh before moving it to run a finger down my neck to my collarbone, skirting it on the outer expanse of my breast, making me gasp, before ending on my flat stomach. "I always knew you had an amazing body Ana, but I was not expecting it to be so… ethereal. Or maybe enchanting is a better word." He looks me up and down and then says, "Yes Miss Steele. You have a lot of… kissing up to do." He laughs at his joke while I turn into a pile of mush, wondering what he has in store for me as we pull up to a lavish building with a big sign that reads: 'ESCALA.' We get out of the car and he leads me to the lobby and into the elevator. He inputs a code and the elevator doors close. As soon as they do I feel a lightning bolt of electricity run through me that sure as hell was never between us before. I look at him and his eyes are dark with lust. He feels it too.

"Shit Ana!" He pushes me up against the wall of the elevator and kisses me. I gasp and his tongue invades my mouth. I drop my purse and twist my fingers in his hair. He grabs my legs and wraps them around his waist and grinds into me with his enormous erection. I moan and pull back to catch my breath and I bite my bottom lip. His eyes are riveted to my mouth and it seems to turn him on more. "Fuck!" He groans and pulls my chin so I am forced to release my lip and he bites it himself. He moves down to my neck and sucks when the elevator stops and I see a brown haired woman staring back at me in shock that quickly morphs into anger.

"What the fuck is going on?!" She demands. Christian pulls back and stares at her with disinterest.

"Leila, I'm ending our contract a little early."

"You can't do that! I-I… I love you!" She screams it at him and now she is in tears. I try to climb down from where he has me pinned against the elevator, but it's like pushing against a brick wall.

"You knew before we started this that this was not about love. It's over. Get your things and go home. Now!" His voice is so commanding that I am almost compelled to obey. She runs away in a fit and disappears behind two great double doors. He bends to grab my purse then her carries me through the same doors Leila went through and we are in a great room. What the hell does Christian do for a living…? This apartment is huge and by the looks of it, it takes up the entire top two floors of the building. I feel small and very, very poor just breathing the air in here. Leila runs past us with a suitcase and gets on the elevator. I feel very bad for her and I am about to tell Christian that his harsh behavior was unnecessary and very rude when he says, "Now Miss Steele. It's time for you to earn my forgiveness back. Wouldn't you say so?" I stop breathing as he carries me through the great room, past the kitchen and a very surprised cook, and into his bedroom where he throws me on the bed. As he stands and stares at me all I can think is, _"Should I tell him now or later that I'm a virgin?"_


	5. Chapter 5: A Slap in the Face

A/N: I hope you all are enjoying my take on Fifty Shades so far. Thank you for reviewing and telling me what you think as this is my very first fan-fiction. This one is a bit shorter than the others but at least it's not as short as the first one. So here is another chapter for you. :)

I flop Ana down on the bed and watch her as she struggles to right herself and watches me. I think about that day, ten years ago when she ripped my heart out of my chest. _You can't be angry with her Grey and you know it. Besides, you don't have a heart. _I know I can't be mad at her, but she is the reason I don't have a heart. She took it with her all those years ago. As I look at her all I want to do is take her upstairs to my playroom, chain her to my bed, flog her and fuck her until she begs me to stop. No. Until she safeword's me. In that moment I realize how badly I want to hurt her. To show her just one inkling of the pain that she has put me through over the last ten years. How the fuck could she do this to me? We were friends! She was my best fucking friend! My only friend. As I continue to stand there and look at her my anger starts to dissipate and it gives way to shame and hurt. Shame because I am just now realizing the way I treated Leila. She didn't deserve that. I will call her tomorrow and apologize, but I can't think of that right now. I have been hurt by this beautiful creature in my bed and now I want some fucking answers.

I move closer to the bed and she starts to stammer. "C-Christian just wait a second."

"I've waited ten years. I think I've waited long enough wouldn't you agree?"

Before she can answer I take her mouth in a surprised kiss. She only struggles for a moment before she kisses me back. I grab her wrists and twist them over her head. She breaks the kiss to gasp at me, "There's no need for you to do that. I think I know you well enough to know where I should and shouldn't touch you." I smile at this and after a brief hesitation I release her. She puts her hands on my shoulders and just as I am about to straddle her legs, she pushes me, rather roughly, off of her.

"What the hell Ana?"

"You can't just pick me up off of the street like some random whore, be rude to that girl who I can only assume was your submissive, and then try to have sex with me like everything is alright."

"Okay fine. Then explain to me why I haven't heard from you in ten years." I give her a stern look and she pales ever so slightly.

"I was afraid to come back to Seattle," she whispers and looks down.

I gently cup her chin and bring her face up to look at me with those captivating icy blue eyes. "Why? I was there and I needed you. I missed you."

"Really? I didn't notice. Less than an hour ago you didn't even know my name!" She has that familiar flare of annoyance in her eyes.

"It was hard remembering everything we shared. I couldn't go through every day like that. Fuck Ana. You were my best friend. You got closer to me than I ever allowed anyone to."

"Besides Elena," she says softly. Shit. I need to change the subject.

"Why were you afraid to come back to Seattle?"

She glares at me, letting me know that I'm not off the hook but she answers me. "I didn't want to chance running into my mom or Stephen. I was also afraid of Elena. The things she said to me that day in the park made me never want to see her face again. But now that I look back on it that bitch has some serious issues if she was threatened by a thirteen year old girl."

I frown, but she smiles and I know she is teasing me. "What did she tell you that day? You never told me."

"And you think I will now? Get real. Do you still see her?"

"Not in the way that you think. I am a Dom now. I have my own subs that she procures for me and we are also in business together. Outside of that we are just friends." I regret that last part as soon as I say it. Ana looks as if she is going to be sick. I stroke her face. "It's nothing like how we were. My feelings for you are different."

"And what do you feel for me Christian?" She looks at me with her big eyes.

What do I feel for her? I care for her yes, but there is something else there too, but what is it? Then it hits me. That emotion that I thought I would never feel and that no one could return to me because Elena says that it is for fools, but there it is. It is strong and almost crippling as I look at Ana. She is the reason my heart beats. I open my mouth to tell her exactly how I feel when I hear a knock on my bedroom door. Does everyone in this damn apartment have bad fucking timing?!

I storm to the door and yank it open so that I am staring into Taylor's passive face. "What the hell do you want?"

"Sir I hate to bother you, but Mrs. Lincoln is in on her way up."

What? What the fuck does Elena want? I look back at Ana and she has a stony expression on her face. Shit! I've only just gotten her back in my life and I won't let Elena drive another wedge in between us. I'm going to have a hard enough time pulling out the one that's already there.

"I'll wait for her out here. Thank you Taylor."

"No problem sir. Will you or Miss Steele be needing me for anything else?"

"Actually I would like for you to drop my Miss Steele's place and pick her up some clothes for the weekend and have Gail make dinner and then the two of you can have the night off."

His eyebrows fly up in surprise. "Thank you sir. I'll have Welch look up her address and get right on it." And no sooner than Taylor disappears does Elena walk in the door. I see movement to my right and look to see that Ana is now standing right next to me with her purse in hand.

"I should go." Like hell you should! I take her purse and throw it in the room and close the door.

"Go sit at the breakfast bar. Dinner will be ready shortly."

"You can't keep me held hostage here! I need my phone. Kate will be worried." Who the hell is Kate? I really need to get a background check done on Ana as soon as possible.

"Eh hem." Elena clears her throat to let us know her presence will not be ignored for much longer. I sigh. We might as well get this over with. I usher Ana to the breakfast bar and make her sit before I turn to Elena.

"What are you doing here?"

She glances over at Ana and then looks back at me. "You want me to talk while this little…" She looks Ana up and down. "Thing, is in the room?"

"Thing?" Ana gets off of the stool and looks at me then back at Elena. "Who the hell do you think you are?"

"I am the woman who I thought put you in your place years ago missy. Yet, here you are, sinking your little claws back into him. What? Did you find out he was rich and come running?"

My face hardens. "Tell me why you're here or get out."

"Fine. I just talked to Leila. She was very upset. She said she saw you with a girl wrapped around your waist in the elevator and then you dismissed her. You violated the contract Christian. You are not to sleep around while you are otherwise involved. You have never been a cheater. I am actually very appalled. But, as I saw all those year ago, this girl makes me do idiotic things." She eyes Ana who is glaring daggers at her.

"I have never been a cheater nor do I intend to start. I will make my proper amends with Leila tomorrow morning. Is this all you came to tell me? We could have discussed this over the phone."

"Yes, we could have, but when Leila started to tell me about your behavior it just didn't sound like you at all, but I only knew of one person that could drive you to insanity so I had to come see if this little meddling trollop had found her way back into your life. And I was right. And after we worked so hard to block her out." She looks at Ana who has moved closer to her without me seeing.

"What the fuck did you just call me?"

"You heard me and you deserve worse than that. How dare you come back here after you ripped his heart out and act like things are alright? You may have blinded him, but I see you for exactly what you are: nothing but a gold digging, money hungry, manipulative whore!"

It is so fast I would swear it never happened, but seeing Elena stumble and fall and the red mark on the side of her face is proof positive that Ana just bitch slapped her. I stand there completely appalled. I look over at Mrs. Jones who has a startled look on her face. Then Ana moves forward and grabs a fist full of Elena's hair.

"Now it's your turn to listen to me so you had better listen well. I am not the same scared little thirteen year old that a grown thirty year old woman bullied in the park. If you ever talk to me the way that you just did or think to threaten me again like you did twelve years ago, there isn't a force on Earth that will be able to pull me off of you. Now, do _you _understand _me_?!"

She just glares at Ana for a moment, but when Ana yanks on her hair she reluctantly nods. Smart woman. Ana releases her hair and Elena stands.

"You're just going to let her talk to me that way?"

"You just accused her of all those horrible things when Ana probably doesn't even know what I do. You deserved everything that you just got. Now it's time for you to leave."

She gives me a look of utter disbelief before she glares at Ana and then turns to leave.

Once she is gone I turn on Ana who is looking down at her knotted hands with a shameful look on her face.

"Ana? What's wrong?"

"I've never threatened anyone before. I'm not even violent. You know that. And then I grabbed her hair. I feel like Stephen. I shouldn't have done that. That doesn't make me any better than Stephen or even Jack." I see that she is near tears. I pull her into my arms and let her know that she did absolutely nothing wrong. This is the Ana I remember. My scared girl. I fall back into the old pattern with her so easily. I can't believe I have forgotten about her all these years. Well that no longer matters. I have my Ana back and I will never let her slip through my fingers again.


	6. Chapter 6: Therapy

I hit her. Holy shit I hit her. Just like he used to hit me when I pissed him off. I'm no better than him. I'm a piece of shit just like him. No matter how much I hate her I had no right to put my hands on her. Oh God. I think I'm having a mental breakdown. Not here. Not in front of Christian. I can feel his arms around me and he is muttering things to me to make me feel better. I feel him stroking my back and I start to calm until I feel his hand touch my hair. It's a very light brush but I still feel it happen. I don't even think he notices, but I pull away from him anyway.

"Feel better?" He asks me and I nod, unable to speak right now. The bad memories have me in a chokehold. "Ana, do you need to sit down?" I nod again and he leads me over to his cream sofa. He goes back to the kitchen and tells the cook, "Gail I think you better hold off on cooking anything for right now." He comes back to me with a glass of water.

"Thanks."

"Ana you look like death. That's the same way you looked when you were mumbling all those horrible things about yourself outside of SIP. I thought it was just because of the fact that you were nearly raped, but it's something else isn't it?" Ever my perceptive Christian. Nothing gets past him. I used to love that he looked at every situation in such detail, but now I wish he would leave it alone. "Ana?"

I sigh and say. "Sometimes certain situations trigger bad memories and I kind of zone out. I see myself standing in front of Stephen instead of the person who is actually in front of me."

"And what happened this time?"

"I was remembering when she said all those mean things to me in the park and me being scared, but wishing that I could have stood up to her. I wasn't going to let her talk to me like that this time. She can't control everything and everyone. She can't be mean to someone she doesn't even know. She can't she just can't…" I realize that I am dangerously close to the edge. I am cry and shaking and Christian is trying to calm me down.

"Ana I think you should talk to someone about this. It sounds like you have waking nightmares. How long has this been happening?"

"Ever since I was sixteen. I can't control it. Sometimes I faint and sometimes I have panic attacks, but I've never been violent with anyone. That's why Jack almost… well, you know. I just froze and it was like I was that scared thirteen year old girl again. "I am sobbing and I feel myself choking on my cries. Christian rubs my back and I start to calm immediately.

"Ana I have a therapist that you can go to. His name is Dr. John Flynn. He would be more than happy to see you. In fact his office is just around the corner. We could go now if you'd like. It's only seven thirty."

Is that all? It feels like it's midnight with everything that has taken place in the last hour and a half. "I couldn't ask you to do that. I really should go home."

"You aren't going anywhere Ana. Dammit! Why do you insist on leaving me at every turn? Is it that easy for you to just pick up and go? To just walk away from me? You are going to see Flynn and you are coming back to this apartment afterward and staying the weekend here. You will do this if I have to chain you to the bed and deadbolt the fucking door!"

His eyes are blazing and his face is beginning to turn red. I have never witnessed this anger in him. Well I have never witnessed it directed at me. I have only seen him this way when he was about to get in a brawl. What the hell have I done to him? I feel guilt overwhelm me, but I have no idea why. I had to leave didn't I? I had to go with Ray. I couldn't stay in that house. I would have died. When I realize this I get a little angry. "Christian I _had_ to leave! Don't you understand that what I did had to be done? By you wanting me to stay there makes you no better than my mother. And if you can't see that then you are selfish and despite everything you've told me I don't believe that you care for me at all. How could you want me to stay in that awful house?! You _witnessed _the cruelty! I can't believe you could be this angry with me just because I saved myself from a lifetime of pain. If you're that insecure then maybe… maybe we shouldn't have found each other. Maybe we shouldn't have been friends at all." I don't mean half of the things I'm telling him, but I think I finally get it through his thick skull why I did what I did. He looks at me with those big gray eyes surprised and hurt.

"You regret meeting me?"

"Seriously Christian? That's all you heard?" Without thinking I roll my eyes.

"Did you just roll your eyes at me?"

I look at him a little scared, but I stand my ground and nod. I remember when we used to go through this. Every time we did I fought him back. But that only seemed to excite him.

"Oh Anastasia what did I tell you I would do if you rolled your eyes at me again?"

"I know what you said, but I never believe you," I whisper to him.

"I know." His eye go wild with lust. "We don't have time for that right now. We need to go see Flynn and work through our issues. But this will be dealt with later." He puts one finger under my chin and tilts my head up. "I am a man of my word Miss Steele." Then he gets up and goes to his room and retrieves my purse. When he returns he pulls me off of the couch and in the next moment we are on the elevator descending from his ivory tower, down into the bowels of the building. I look over at him as I feel that electric charge between us and he stares back at me with a lustful eye, all his previous anger and hurt now gone. Oh, what am I going to do with this mercurial man?

* * *

Ana never was afraid of me. I was the only person in the world she felt safe with when everyone else scared her to death. I don't know if this should flatter me or make me angry. I want her to take my threats seriously, but at the same time fighting with her in bed is such a turn on for me. I've thought about it countless times when she deified me when we were younger. I was the only one she ever stood up to. Should I be proud or wounded? I will ask Flynn about that. As I look at her right now all I really want to do is devour her. _Control yourself Grey._ Control myself around Ana? Not likely, but I'll try.

We enter the lobby and I take her hand and lead her the few short blocks to Flynn's office. When I get to the reception area his secretary wastes no time and she immediately lets him know that I have arrived for a surprise session. This is nothing unusual. I have needed Flynn at odder hours than this. I pay him a great deal of money. He had better be available whenever I fucking need him to be.

"Dr. Flynn will be right with you," the receptionist tells us. I nod at her and we are just about to sit when Flynn emerges from his office.

"Christian. What a pleasant surprise. Come right in."

I come in with Anastasia trailing me. We sit on the plush green couch John sits across from us in his black wingback chair. "So Christian who is this lovely woman that you've brought along?"

"John I'd like for you to meet Anastasia Steele. She needs to discuss a few… complications that she's been having for a while. Ana?"

John turns to look at her as she says, "Hello Dr. Flynn. I would just like a little help straightening out my um… what did you call them?"

"She has waking nightmares John. It's a little freaky."

"Gee thanks Christian."

"Tell me about these nightmares Ana. May I call you Ana?"

"All my friends do." This makes the two of us smile. "So it's like this Dr. When I was younger I was abused by my stepfather and my mother did nothing to stop it. I was also bullied in school and… threatened by a friend of Christian's."

"Hang on a minute. The two of you knew each other when Christian was younger?"

"You never mentioned me in therapy?" She looks hurt and I feel guilty.

"I told you. Remembering everything we had was too painful so I repressed all of those memories. When I met John I was so fucked up that is was miracle that I remembered my own name. I had sunk so low and I needed help just like you do right now so enough about me and let's get through to you."

She looks back at John and continues. "Well, long story short I seem to have flashbacks when I'm in certain situations."

"It could be dangerous for her John. She was nearly raped today and she couldn't even fight back."

"Are you going to let me tell this story or will you keep interrupting me?"

"Do you see this? She has no problem standing up to me, but when she is in danger she's helpless."

"Alright now just calm down," John interrupts when Ana would have argued. "Christian why don't you go wait in the lobby?"

"What?!"

"You heard him." I glare at Ana and she throws me a smug smile.

"Christian?" John prompts me when I continue to sit there.

"Fine! You have five minutes and I'm coming right back." With that, I get up and storm out of the room. I can't believe I just got fucking kicked out of my own therapist's office. I fucking pay him thousands of dollars an hour and he puts me out! I sit in the chair and sulk, but I am secretly happy that Ana is getting the help she needs. Five minutes later, I am about to storm back into the office when I see movement to my right. There is a man lurking in the shadows. I crane my head to see if it is Taylor. Did he come from Escala to keep an eye on me after I gave him the night off? I didn't think we would be gone long so I texted him and told him to keep an eye on things periodically through the CCTV and to come see about us if weren't back in an hour. My eyes are just adjusting to the light when Ana emerges from Flynn's office.

"I thought you were coming back in—"

She is cut off by the shot of a gun and my whole world is tilted from under my feet, leaving me falling into a dark abyss. I hear an unholy roar and it is only when my knees make contact with the carpet that I realize the sound is coming from me.


	7. Chapter 7: The Hospital

Sorry for the dramatic cliffhanger guys. :) Hope this chapter makes up for it. Enjoy!

* * *

"So Ana? Tell me about Stephen."

"He was abusive to say the least. I don't really like to think about him. It scares me to even say his name most of the time. He was a monster and I hope I never see him again."

"Alright we'll skip him for now, but you do realize that we'll have to come back to that later if we want to get you through this yes?"

"Yes I understand."

"So tell me about your mother."

I laugh without humor. "My mother. I haven't seen or talked to her in ten years although Ray, my stepfather, tells me that she is doing well. She is on her fourth marriage to some guy named Bob and they live in Georgia. From what Ray tells me he's a pretty decent guy."

"She hasn't tried to make contact with you?"

"Oh she has, but always through Ray. I no longer want to have anything to do with her. She is most of the reason that I was stuck in that house. Ray wanted to adopt me after she got married and they ended up having a custody battle because she was too much of a coward to be alone and take the beatings herself or just divorcing him. She put her child in danger." I am on the verge of tear when I look at the clock above Dr. Flynn's desk. "It's been five minutes. If I know Christian he'll be barging in here any second." A few more seconds tick by and Christian still doesn't come in. I begin to get worried so I excuse myself to find Christian. I open the door and see him sitting in the chair staring at a spot near the glass opening to the lobby. I smile fondly and shake my head. He is just like a child. He gets distracted so easily.

"I thought you were coming back in—" I feel pain in my chest. It is sharp and sudden that I can't even let out a scream. I can see Christian's horrified face and it is open in a silent scream. Or maybe it isn't silent, but I can't hear anything over the roar of my own blood in my ears and the splitting pain in my chest. I can't focus on anything else. I want to escape from this agony. I close my eyes and I am met with gray ones. I fall into his eyes and it is utter bliss.

* * *

Ana. My Ana. How could someone do this to such a sweet girl? I look behind me and see that fucker Hyde standing frozen with a gun in his hand.

"I told that bitch I'd make her pay. I fucking hate her. That cock teasing slut." He seems to be in a daze so I take advantage of it and I tackle him. I begin to beat his face in with my fists.

"Christian you have to stop. You'll kill him." I hear John telling me these words. He says that I'll kill him if I don't stop. I fucking plan to! He hurt my Ana.

"Mr. Grey. Anastasia needs to get to the hospital. She is hurt very badly. Please come help me take care of her." Taylor. When did he get here? The mention of Ana being hurt brings me back to reality. I need to help her. I need to be there for her. I need to be there for her like I used to be. I throw the Hyde fucker into the glass wall hard enough for it to give a satisfying crack.

"John, have your receptionist call the police. Taylor, handcuff this bastard to something and then help me get Ana out of here."

I go over to Ana taking off my jacket and putting it on top of her bullet wound to apply pressure and stop the blood flow. I pick her up and take her downstairs. Taylor has the SUV parked by the curb. I put Ana in the back and climb in with her. John hops in the passenger seat and Taylor gets in the front and starts to speed down the highway.

"Everything is going to be alright Ana. I'm here. I won't ever let anything happen to you ever again. You can't leave me when we've only just found each other again baby. Please don't leave me here alone. I love you Ana. Please."

I continue to murmur to her until we arrive at Seattle Grace hospital. I run her inside of the emergency entrance with Taylor and Flynn on my heels. Once inside of the hospital I feel myself breaking. I stare at Ana's face and sink to the floor. There is a flurry of activity around me, but I am not aware of anything but Ana until I feel her body being tugged from my arms. I roar in anger. How dare someone think to take her from me?! How fucking dare they?!

"Christian sweetheart please let the girl go. Let us help her baby." It's mom. Her voice is a balm in the sea of emotions inside of me.

"Mom? Please help her. I love her so much just please help her. I can't take this."

"Give her to me. I promise I will heal her, but the more time we waste then the more time she loses. Give her to me."

I hand her to my mom trusting that she will save my Ana.

As I watch them take Ana from me I have nothing left to do now but wait. I will wait for her. I look over at Taylor. "What the hell happened?"

"I went to check the CCTV like you asked me to while Gail was preparing us something to eat. I knew you had left about fifteen to twenty minutes prior to that, but I checked the security camera that monitors the outside of the building. I backed the footage up far enough for me to monitor your departure and a few seconds after you walked away from Escala I saw him. He was following you. I should have contacted you immediately sir and I apologize, but I figured if I caught him first there would have been no need for me to tell you until after I had the situation under control so that we wouldn't frighten Miss Steele. I realize that my actions were careless and selfish and I caused your and Miss Steele's safety to be compromised. I apologize again sir and if you terminate my job then I understand."

I shake my head in disbelief. That fucker followed us! I should have noticed that. I should have thought that he would. Now we are the ones sitting in a hospital tonight instead of him. I look back at Taylor. "The next time you become aware of a threat to us you are to notify me immediately. I will not be caught off guard again, especially not while Miss Steele is in my care. Are we clear?"

"Yes Mr. Grey."

"You have never fucked up before Taylor. I trust you with my life and I will trust you with Miss Steele's. But you must never be as thoughtless as you were tonight. That girl means everything to me and if she had died Taylor…" I can't even finish the sentence.

"I understand sir. I am so very sorry. This will never happen again I swear it."

"Good. See that it doesn't."

We sit in a very tense silence waiting to hear something, anything about Ana. About an hour later my mom comes back in the waiting room.

"Mom, how is she?"

"She's fine honey. The bullet went straight through her shoulder and it didn't hit anything major. She's just going to be in a lot of pain for the next few weeks. We've closed the wound, but she has a hairline fracture on her skull from where I assume she hit the ground after the bullet hit her. I thought that she would be unconscious for a while, but she looks to be a very strong girl. She's awake and she's asking for you."

This news makes my heart swell. Not only is she awake but she wants to see me.

"Will you take us to her?" I indicate John and Taylor.

"Sure. Christian who is she?"

"Her name is Anastasia. I believe you met her once when she was fifteen."

"This is the girl who came by with the note?"

"The very same."

"I thought you said she moved away that night she came by."

"She did, but apparently she has been here for at least three years without my knowledge. That doesn't matter right now mom. I need to see her."

"Right. Come on her room is this way."

Mom leads us down a corridor and opens a door to the left and there she is. She has a hospital blanket wrapped around her chest and a large bandage on her right shoulder. When she sees me she smiles weakly.

"Hey," I say.

"Hey." I go over to sit in the chair next to her bed and she says, "Some birthday huh?"

I shake my head and look at her remorsefully. "Ana I am so sorry. This is my fault."

"How is it your fault? You didn't do anything wrong. Did you find out who the shooter was?" I just stare at her, refusing to answer. "You can't keep this from me Christian. I'm the one who was shot. I deserve to know."

I sigh and say, "It was Jack Hyde." She gasps and her hands fly to her mouth.

"But how?"

"He must have followed me back to my apartment and then followed us to Flynn's office. I didn't have security with me because we were only around the corner and I gave Taylor the night off. I still had him protecting us, but from a distance. It was foolish of me. I never go anywhere without being protected. I apologize Ana. I put your life in danger and I ruined your birthday." I feel such hatred towards myself. How could I have been so stupid?

"Christian this is the best birthday I could have asked for. I found you after all these years. My life couldn't be more complete right now." My heart soars at her admission.

"Ana I—" She watches me intently with glittering eyes and I feel myself falling all over again, just like I did when I first saw her in the park looking scared and helpless. I loved her then, I was just too stupid to see it. I lean in and cup her cheek. "I love you," I whisper to her. I hear her sharp intake of air. I pull back and I see her mouth moving as if she is trying to say something, but I have rendered her speechless. Just as she is finally about to speak a slender blonde walks in the room.

"Just who the fuck do you think you are?!" She demands.

"Hey Kate," Ana says.

So this is Kate.

"Oh God honey are you alright?" She rushes over to her vacant bedside and brushes her hair from her face. I feel her tense up ever so slightly, but she makes no move to pull away from her. Ana never lets anyone touch her hair, not even me. She pulled away from me when I tried to comfort her earlier when I brushed it by accident. Why does this girl get to touch it? I am insanely jealous.

"I'm fine Kate. This is Christian Grey."

"Grey? The billionaire?"

"Yes and an old friend of mine. Christian this is Katherine Kavenaugh my roommate." They live together?

"Miss Kavenaugh." I put my hand out to shake hers, but she just glares at me.

"First you kidnap her and then you let her get shot? I don't care who you are. What the hell is wrong with you?"

"Kate, please."

"No. This bastard thinks that he can do whatever he wants just because he has money? Well I have news for you asshole—"

"Kate!" Ana yells at her. "Please."

She looks at Ana and her eyes soften. "Oh Ana honey I'm sorry. How are you?" She leans over and plants a kiss on her forehead and they begin to chat. I excuse myself from the room. I walk down the hallway feeling sick. So that's why she couldn't tell me she loved me back. She already has someone. My Ana has Katherine Kavenaugh, her roommate, her partner. I can't believe I lost my girl to another woman!


	8. Chapter 8: Birthday Presents

Kate is talking, but I am hardly listening. She has gotten bold since I allowed her to touch my hair when Christian was in here and this was the one time I didn't jump out of my skin. Now she is going on about how silky it is and she wants to know what shampoo and conditioner I've been using.

"Kate please stop touching my hair."

"Oh right! I'm so sorry sweetie." She always pretends to forget, but she told me when we first started rooming together seven years ago that she would help me overcome my fear. I shake my head at her.

"How did you find out about this?"

"Some guy named Welch contacted me and let me know everything. I asked how he got my number and he said he said he was ordered to call by some guy named Taylor. He still didn't explain a whole hell of a lot though." She shrugs and reclines in her chair. "So that jackass boss did this to you? I should have known he was fucking insane when I went to your office Christmas party. I should have told you something was off about that guy when I first felt it. I feel like this is all my fault."

"Would you and Christian please cool it with the guilt trip? If this is anyone's fault it's my own. I led him to believe that I had some type of interest in him and I never meant for that to happen."

"Oh Ana give me a break. You hardly bat an eye at any man. When we were in college I used to think you were gay, but when you didn't show interest in girls either I figured you must be a nun." She gives me a smirk and I start to feel better. Kate is my best friend in the entire world. She was the only one I had until she moved to Portland. When I was about to graduate from high school she made contact with me and said that she would be going to WSU Vancouver and her parents were buying her an apartment and she wanted us to be roommates. I thought she would have forgotten all about me by now, but she hadn't. That's why she is and will always be my best friend.

"So! Christian. That's the stud you told me about. You said you guys really hit it off after I left."

"Is that why you were rude to him? Because you were jealous of the friendship we used to have?"

"I guess I got a little sensitive. You're my Ana Banana and I love ya kid." She playfully punches my arm and I wince. The entire right side of my body is throbbing. "Oh my God Ana I'm sorry!"

"It's fine. I'm alright. Could you look out the door and see if Christian is coming back yet?" I'm getting restless without him in here.

"Sure. Oh wait, I got you something!" She rummages around in her purse and hands me a small envelope. "Happy birthday!"

"Thank you Kate. You didn't have to get me anything."

"I know, but I did and you had better accept it. And you can't turn this one down because it barely cost me anything."

I open the envelope and it is a gift card to some really upscale spa that will treat me to "the works," whatever that means. "Oh Kate this is so nice. Thank you. I will use this as soon as I'm better I promise."

"That's what I want to hear. I know I can count on your promises Steele." She smiles and before she even has the chance to get up Christian comes back in the room.

"Miss Kavenaugh you should really be going. Ana needs to get some rest."

I see Kate glare at him and I touch her arm. "Kate, please. It's best to just do what he says. I'll be alright and I am really tired. I'll see you tomorrow?"

"You better believe it. Get better soon honey." With a last kiss on the forehead she grabs her purse and heads for the door. "You're on my shit list Grey," and she walks out of the door.

"She really doesn't like me does she."

"No I guess not. But don't take it personally. Kate doesn't really like anyone."

"How do the two of you know each other?"

"Well I've been knowing her since I was ten. That's when we moved to Seattle and mom married _him_. We became best friends and then she moved away when I was twelve. We reconnected seven years ago and we roomed together in college and we've been inseparable ever since."

"So did you become a couple when you reconnected in college?" He asks me coldly.

"C-Christian what the hell are you talking about?! I'm not gay! Why would you even think that?" Is that why he got up and left, because he was thinking that?! You have got to be kidding me. What is up with everyone tonight? Do I seem like I would be a lesbian?

"You aren't?"

"No."

"Well I thought you were. When she came in here the two of you were so affectionate with each other that I figured you had to be seeing one another."

I stare at him for a minute before I burst into laughter. "I don't see what's so funny." He raises a brow at me, but I see the corners of his mouth twitch.

"You're funny Mr. Grey."

"Well I think this laughter needs to come to an end. You may hurt yourself. I brought you something." He plops a gift bag down on my lap.

"Not you too."

"What do you mean?"

"Well Kate got me this gift card to a fancy spa and I promised I'd go so now I have no choice."

"Well I swear to you that this is nothing fancy and it barely cost me two dollars."

"Well that makes me feel special."

"Would you just open the damn bag Ana?"

I open the bag to find a big white teddy bear. "I thought I would make this birthday a little bit more special," he whispers to me.

"I love it. Christian I couldn't have asked for a better birthday. There's something I need to tell you."

"And what's that?"

I smile at him and lean close to his face despite the pain that it causes me. "I love you too."

* * *

My heart stops beating. She loves me. She knows how fucked up I am and she still is willing to give me her heart. I look into those deep soulful blue eyes and I see them glittering in sincerity. I lean in and plant a gentle kiss on her lips and it instantly becomes something deeper. We are a tangle of tongues and lips. Without thinking my hands glide up her body and begin to tangle in her hair. Just as I am about to close my fists she whispers, "Please Christian. Please don't pull my hair. You can touch it, but don't pull it." I am warmed by this. She never lets anyone touch it, but she allows me to do so. This is progress. Maybe Flynn got through to her after all. Just as I think his name, he appears in the doorway.

"Oh. I apologize. I could come back later," he says as he sees our embrace.

"No it's alright John come on in."

"Ana I just wanted to say that I am truly sorry about what happened and if you want to continue with therapy then I would be more than happy to take you on as a patient."

"Thank you Dr. I would really like that." She smiles radiantly at him and it steals my breath away.

"Christian I'll be leaving now. I'll send you my bill. "

I smile at him and say, "I wouldn't expect anything less John." With that, he turns to leave and my mother walks in.

"Hello Anastasia. Do you remember me?"

"Yes I could never forget you. You're Grace, Christian's mother."

"Yes I am and it is lovely to see you again. You will make a strong recovery and in less time than I think I'm sure." Her eyes flash to me. "Christian can I speak with you for a moment?"

"Sure mom. I'll be right back baby," I tell Ana and I kiss her cheek. I turn back to my mother and she is staring at the two of us wide eyed. We exit the room and stand in the hallway. She looks at me expectantly. I know what she wants, but I won't give it to her so easily. "What mom?"

"What do you mean what? I want to know about her!"

"Mom you'll find out soon enough. I have to smooth things over with her first and make our relationship… concrete." I need Ana to accept all of me, my playroom included.

"So you admit that you are in a relationship with her?!"

I laugh and shake my head. "Something like that mom."

"Oh Christian this is wonderful!" She hugs me around my neck. I love making my mother happy. It's the reason I live. Well. It used to be anyway. My reason for living is in the room behind me.

"Hey mom I'm going to get back to her now. Why don't you go home? You look beat."

"You're right I should be getting home before it gets too late. Bring her to dinner soon. I want everyone to meet her."

"I promise. Now get out of here before I call dad." I kiss her cheek and return to Ana's bedside. She is sitting in the bed admiring the gift card her friend has given her.

"You know, I think I would love to go to this place. I deserve some relaxation."

"Let me see that." She hands me the gift card and my stomach drops through the floor. It is a gift card to Esclava. The salon I own with Elena.


	9. Chapter 9: Belated Birthday Surprises

Okay so here is something that I want to clear up. In the reviews I had some people concerned about Christian still wanting to take Ana in his playroom. Just remember that in the actual book she had to leave him for him to understand that his actions were wrong. She did leave him in this story, but not in the same way and that only made him embrace his nature. I plan to take this book very far (through marriage and children) so be patient with me and let the story unfold itself. Thank you for all of your support! Here is chapter nine. Happy reading!

* * *

She will hate me if I let her go to that salon. Even if Elena doesn't come there anymore I still have to tell her.

"Ana I don't think that—"

"Hey maybe you can take a day off and come to the spa with me. God knows you can probably use a break. Speaking of which, what is it exactly that you do? You said that you bought SIP so you must do something… expensive."

"I am a businessman. I'm the CEO of my company Grey Enterprises Holdings Incorporated. Ana we need to talk about this—"

"Oh my God! That must be really cool. Do you remember when we were kids and we always talked about what we wanted to be when we grew up? I wanted to be an author and you wanted to be a Dom." Her joking tone falters as she remembers. "Guess you got your wish," she whispers. For the first time in my life I feel ashamed although I don't know why the hell I do. I want Ana to be my submissive. She knows that I would never hurt her. Well not intentionally at least. This relationship has to be built on trust. I need Ana to trust me. That is what the Dom/sub relationship will give us. She has to agree.

"Sorry. I probably shouldn't make what you do sound like a crime. There are a lot of people who are into that kind of stuff."

"But you aren't?"

"Why would I be? I mean if every guy I meet just wants to beat the shit out of me and fuck me then I'll be a virgin for the rest of my—" She stops, but I hear it. She has let the bomb drop and it is doing a hell of a lot of damage.

"You're a virgin?" She says nothing and that gives me my answer. "Ana what the fuck?! You're twenty-five years old. Why the hell are you still a virgin? You are beautiful. How is that even possible?"

"Is it a crime for me to be a virgin?" She snaps at me.

"No, but Christ Ana. You have to have at least done _some_thing."

"No I haven't Christian. Now shut the hell up!"

I am amused now. I decide to tease her. I lean in close to her ear and run my finger down her neck very slowly as I speak. "You mean to tell me that no one has tempted you? Not one of these dumb fuckers in this city tried to fuck you? None of them tried to taste your sweet, warm, tight little p—"

"I get it!" She yells at me and tries to push me away and only succeeds in hurting her shoulder. I feel like an asshole immediately.

"God Ana! I'm sorry! Lie back. You must be in so much pain."

"It's not really my shoulder, but my head. I'm fine. Anyway, do you kiss your mother with that mouth?"

I smirk at her. "Why yes, I do. How did you know?"

"Don't be a smartass. If I were her I would wash it out with soap."

She glares at me for a moment and then she looks down at my hand. "Give me my gift card back."

Oh shit. I forgot about that damn gift card. "Ana you can't use this gift card."

"Why not? Kate gave it to me as a birthday present and I promised I'd use it when I was better. You know I don't break my promises."

"I know, but this is a gift card to Esclava. The salon that I own with—"

"You own a salon?! And you wonder why your family thinks you're gay."

"Ana! I have just about had it with your smart mouth now shut the fuck up and let me finish!" She looks at me in mock horror and I know she is not intimidated in the least. Why? Why is it just me that she acts this way with? I have been trying to answer that question since I was fifteen.

"Oh I am so sorry sir. Forgive me. Please continue." That's better. If only she meant it.

"As I was saying Esclava is the salon I own with Elena." Her good humor vanishes in an instant.

"Why the fuck are you in business with her?! Why do you even still talk to her Christian? For God's sake she's a pedophile. She's a child molester."

"Ana shut your fucking mouth and I mean it! Elena saved me! I would never be where I am today without her. She is the reason I am who I am. Without her I would probably be in jail or dead and not a fucking billionaire. So just lay off of her will you?!" She stares at me truly stunned at my outburst and then her face turns impassive.

"Get out."

"Excuse me?"

"I said get. OUT!" She yells the last word at me and it makes me frown. No one talks to me this way. Then I sigh. No one, but Ana, talks to me this way.

"I'm not leaving Ana now just calm down."

"If you don't leave right now I will call security to come and remove you. I don't want to look at you anymore. Just… just leave…" She lies down in the bed and turns away from me. I have no idea what to do so I just do as she asks and I get up to leave. Before I reach the door I turn and walk back to her. I bend down so my mouth is close to her ear and then I whisper, "You are my one true friend in this entire world. If I had not met you and had you in my life then there would have been no point in living. You have given me meaning and purpose. You brought sunshine into my life and pulled me from the darkness. Elena may have saved me, but you Ana. You kept me alive." With that I turn and walk out of the door. I get a chair from the waiting room and I drag it through the hallway and station myself outside of her door to sit there, and maybe even sleep there until I am forgiven. This is nothing new. We used to fight like this all the time and I would just sit in the tree outside of her window until she was ready to forgive me. She knows that I can never sleep easy unless things between us are alright. I never want another fight like the one we had eleven years ago… No. I don't want to go down that road right now. It will only make me go beg for her to forgive me and right now she needs her space.

I sit in the chair for the better half of two hours when a nurse rushes past me into Ana's room. I begin to panic, but I do not go in. I will just attack the nurse with questions when she comes back out. A few seconds later the nurse exits the room and turns to me and says, "Miss Steele asked me to tell you that you can come back in now." She walks away and returns to her station. I smile and return the chair back to the waiting room before I go back into Ana's room. Back into Ana's forgiveness.

* * *

I am on the edge of consciousness and I really don't want to wake up. I know that if I wake completely there is only a throbbing shoulder and a splitting headache waiting for me. When I can fight it no longer I wake to sunlight streaming into my hospital room. I blink a few times to clear my vision and I gasp. I am surrounded by birthday balloons, giant overstuffed teddy bears, my favorite chocolates, a gourmet breakfast that no one at this hospital could have ever dreamed of cooking, and a long black velvet jewelry box lying flat on my lap. This has Christian written all over it. When the hell did he do all of this?! I look down at the box on my lap and I am scared to open it. Christian always liked to spoil me and that was before he got rich. I reach up to touch the necklace that never leaves my neck and it is gone. I begin to panic when Christian walks in.

"My necklace! The one you gave me for my fifteenth birthday. It's gone! They must have taken it off when I came here last night. Oh God Christian I'm so sorry I have never taken it off I swear I—"

"Ana. Calm down. I took it off. I was touched when I realized you still wore it." He looks at me with a shy smile that I remember all too well and he stares down at the black box. "I figured you should have something that I can… presently afford."

"You mean something expensive."

"Generally, yes. Open the box."

"I want my old necklace back."

"You haven't even seen the new one."

"I don't care. I love that necklace now give it back."

"I will. As soon as you open the box and accept what is inside."

I make a noise of frustration and open the box. I gasp in awe. There is my necklace and with it there are matching diamond earrings and a bracelet. The earrings are made up of four diamonds, three of which are all small and the same size and the fourth is about the size of a dime. The bracelet is silver with diamonds woven into it. It looks like a charm bracelet. The charms consist of a music note, a book, a quill, a journal, a heart, and a C and an A that form an infinity symbol.

Something falls down my face and I reach up and realize that I am crying. "Hey. Don't do that. Don't cry Ana. Do you like it?"

"Christian I love it. It's beautiful." I look into his beautiful face and he graces me with a smile.

"I'm glad you do baby. I thought if I made the gift a bit more… personal you would have more reason to accept it." He gives me his shy smile again and I shake my head.

"Well you were right."

He laughs and then he hits me with his big gray puppy dog eyes that I haven't seen in years. "Are we alright?"

"Yeah, Christian. We're alright." He smiles really big at me and plants a long searching kiss on my lips.

"I love you Ana."

"I love you too." We are staring into each other's eyes when someone walks in.

"Dios mio Ana! Are you alright?!" I look past Christian to see a worried Jose standing at the door. Christian turns to see him also and turns back to me with a raised eyebrow.

"Hey Jose. I'm fine. Come on in." He comes further into the room and takes a look around before looking at Christian and then his eyes finally rest on me and they soften immediately.

"I was so worried about you. Kate just told me what happened. She said she came and saw you last night. She didn't tell me because she was so worried and was only focused on getting to you. You sure you're okay?" His eyes flash to Christian briefly and then return to mine.

"I'm fine I promise. Jose I'd like you to meet Christian Grey. Christian this is Jose Rodriguez, a friend of mine and Kate's."

"Mr. Grey." Jose sticks out a hand to Christian.

Christian stares at his hand for a moment before he takes it and says coldly, "Pleasure." What's with him?

"I got you something for your birthday." He takes a look around the room again and then looks at my lap and his face falls. "Although it's probably not as nice as all this stuff." He pulls his backpack off and hands me a square box. "Happy belated birthday Ana."

"Thank you Jose." I open the box to find a small picture frame. He has placed a picture inside of me standing at the edge of the lake. I am looking out at the Sound at sunset. It reminds me of my fifteenth birthday when Christian took me to see this very sight in his backyard. I start to cry again. "Jose this is beautiful. I love it. Thank you so much." I hug him as much as I can without causing myself pain.

"I'm glad you like it." He stares at me the way Christian stared at me just a moment ago. I look down and blush because I know the way that Jose feels for me, but I don't feel that way for him. I feel like a horrible friend every day that his feelings go unreturned, but I can't help it. Christian is the only man I have ever loved.

I look up when Christian clears his throat. "I'm going to check with the nurse to see when you're getting discharged and if it's no time soon I'm going to have it arranged for you to be moved to a better room."

"Oh, Christian that's not necessary. I'm fine in here."

"Nonsense. I'll be right back." He turns to leave and then, as if he forgot something, he turns back and gently cups my face and kisses me. I mean he really kisses me. This is not the passionate or demanding kisses we have shared. No this kiss is different. This one is possessive and dominating. He is making a statement that I am no longer available apparently. His tongue twines with mine and he shoves it deeper into my mouth and I moan involuntarily. This is what he wants, a sound of confirmation from me. He finally releases my mouth and looks into my eyes and I can see that everything I thought was spot on. With a final quick kiss, he rises, glares at Jose and walks out. He should have just lifted up his leg and peed on me and growled _"Mine"_ for all the trouble he went through.

"Wow. That was some kiss," Jose says, clearly uncomfortable.

"Yeah, I'm sorry about that."

"No it's fine. I just didn't know you were seeing anyone."

"I'm not! Well I am, but I'm not. Christian is just an old friend. We just reconnected with each other."

"I'm a friend and you sure as hell never kissed me like that. You've never kissed me at all." He says this with a bit of bitterness in his voice.

"Look Jose I'm sorry. I love you, truly I do, but I am not _in _love with you. I have been in love with Christian since I was thirteen years old. He's it for me. I can't even dream of being with anyone else. You are my friend and you always will be, but I can understand if you no longer wish to be," I whisper to him, looking down at my knotted fingers.

I hear him sigh and say, "Ana I will always be your friend no matter what. I love you. Don't ever forget that." He kisses my forehead and says he'll come back later on with Kate and he leaves.

Christian comes back in and tells me that I can go home in a few days so there is no point in moving me. "So, Jose is really hot for you," he says nonchalantly, but I know he is angry.

"He is not. He's just a friend."

"Have you ever dated?"

"No we haven't Christian. Just leave it alone."

He opens his mouth to say something else when Ray walks in. I beam at him. "Hi daddy!"

"Hey Annie." He has a grave look on his face and I am about to ask him what's wrong when my mother walks in.


	10. Chapter 10: Unexpected

I can say absolutely nothing. Why is my mother here? I haven't seen or talked to her in ten years, to the day. So why has she turned up now? She walks in behind Ray and behind her there is a tall burly looking man. This must be Bob, the man Ray told me about.

"Oh my God, honey are you alright?"

She actually has the nerve to sound concerned? "What is she doing here?" I ask Ray, refusing to even look at my mother, let alone speak to her.

She looks at me shocked and before she can answer Ray pipes up. "Kate called me and told me that you had been shot and your mother and Bob were visiting at the time and they were on their way to catch their flight back to Georgia and she overheard us talking and she wanted to make sure you were alright."

I scoff. "After twenty-five years she picks now to make sure I'm alright?"

"Er… maybe I should go wait outside." The man, Bob, leaves the room, leaving me, Ray, Carla, and Christian.

"Um, I don't believe we've met son." Ray turns inquisitive eyes on Christian.

Christian stands and offers his hand to my father. "Christian Grey sir, it's a pleasure to meet you," he says politely, but I hear the coldness in his voice. I am only confused by it for a moment until clarity hits me. He is blaming Ray for taking me away from him. I tug at his hand and he sits back down.

"Nice to meet you. I'm Ray Steele. I'm Ana's stepfather. And this is Carla Ana's—"

"I know who she is. I've seen her before," Christian interrupts angrily.

Ray looks at him then back at me and I just shake my head at him. "Come sit down daddy." He comes and sits next to me on the other side of the bed and I try to block my mother out. I engage him in conversation which he uncomfortably returns, every now and then glancing at my mother who stands in the corner sadly, but determined, apparently to get a word in.

"Well Annie I'm gonna head out," Ray says after a while. He kisses my head and nods to Christian and then he is out of the door before I can protest. I hear Christian clear his throat and he mumbles something about needing some coffee and then he too is gone and I am left alone with my mother. Why the hell did they do this to me? We stare at each other for a moment before she moves out of the corner and sits in the chair that Christian just vacated.

She fiddles with her thumbs for a moment before she says, "Well this guy must really like you. Just look at all this nice stuff he's gotten you." I just stare out of the window so she tries again. "He's is a very handsome young man." Still I say nothing. I hear her sigh. "Look Ana, I know you're upset with me and I don't blame you. I was a horrible mother and I kept you from your father when you needed him most. I will never forgive myself for the way he treated you. Please forgive me."

I finally turn my head to look at her with narrowed eyes. "After ten years now you want to apologize and make amends with me? You want to show up when you overhear that your daughter has been shot and could possibly have died? You want to talk to me when you didn't even know if you still even had the chance? How dare you mom? After all this time you let me think you didn't even care about me. You let me be abuse by that sick fuck and then you wouldn't even let Ray have me because you were selfish. I hated you then and I still hate you now." Her look of shock tears at my heart because I don't mean the words that I'm saying, but I want to hurt her. I want her to feel just a small piece of what I felt when he put his hands on me, when he tried to rape me, when she left me alone with him and he violated me with his hands… I hated the person she was, but I could never bring myself to hate her. She's my mother and I owe her my life. I sigh and look at her. She is crying with her head in her hands. "Mom. I didn't mean that. But sometimes I was really hurt and I hated that you left me in those situations when we both could have been safe. You could have let me go with Ray and you could have divorced him long before things got as bad as they were. I may not hate you, but, mother or not, you're stupid."

She laughs without humor and nods her head in agreement. "You're right honey I am stupid. I'm stupid for not keeping you around with that monster, I'm stupid for letting him abuse you, and I am stupid for letting all these years go by without asking Ray for your phone number or address. I just felt like you didn't want to see me after what happened and when you never reached out to me I just decided to leave you be. I figured your life would be better without me in it."

"I love you mom, but I don't think I want to start rekindling our relationship just yet. Give me a few weeks and I'll give you a call. I need to forgive you in my heart not just with my mouth. Can you understand that?"

"Of course I can sweetheart and I love you too. I will respect your boundaries and whenever you're ready to talk I'll be waiting." She kisses me on the forehead and leaves the room. I rub my eyes. I can feel myself getting a headache. Just as I am beginning to feel the first pierce of pain behind my eyes my door opens again.

"Well hi!" I look up to see a beaming girl with black hair staring at me. Who the hell is she? Before I can respond a blonde man walks in with a warm greeting. Who the hell are these people?!

"I'm sorry I'm not sure I know who you are," I say confused.

The blonde man says, "I think introductions are in order. My name is Elliot and this is my little sister Mia. We're Christian's brother and sister." Oh right. I remember him mentioning them when we were younger. He looked up to his big brother and adored his little sister. I always wanted to meet his family, but I was afraid of what they would think of me.

"Oh, I'm Anastasia, but everyone calls me Ana. It's very nice to meet you."

"Christian never told me he had a girlfriend. He's never had a girlfriend before. And you're so pretty!"

"Mia I think you're scaring her with your incessant chatter. You'll have to excuse her she doesn't know how to control her big mouth."

"Hey don't you—"

"I thought I told not to come and bother her." I hear Christian's cold voice from the doorway.

I am about to defend them when I hear Elliot's laughter and I see Mia roll her eyes. _Oh I wouldn't do that if I were you. _"Christian we wanted to meet your girlfriend. She's so pretty," Mia gushes.

"She's not my girlfriend."

"What?" The rose lenses I have been wearing since I saw Christian yesterday break into a thousand tiny pieces along with my heart. I've been right all along. I'm not good enough for his family.

* * *

Shit I just screwed up. Ana and I haven't discussed our relationship just yet. I've only just fucking found her yesterday! I go over to her and take her hand in mine and kneel by her bed. "No baby I didn't mean it like that."

"Well what did you mean?" She asks me in a hurt voice and I feel like shit for making her feel this way. I know how Ana gets with her low self-esteem issues.

"I meant that we've just found each other again after ten years and I want to get everything right."

"What do you mean you've just found each other again?" I roll my eyes. I should never have told them that she was in here, especially Mia. She is so annoying sometimes.

"Not now Mia."

"Why not now?"

I groan inwardly when I hear Elliot side with Mia. I am about to lose my temper when my two siblings are saved by my mother.

"Why don't the two of you leave Christian and his friend alone? Go wait for me in the waiting room."

"Aw but mom—"

"You heard me Mia. Now out you go." She shoos them out of the room and I give her a grateful look.

I turn back to Ana and say, "Baby please don't be mad at me."

"I'm not mad at you." Of course she isn't. She's hurt. Her self-esteem has probably plummeted to the floor. I rake my hands through my hair. "I'd like to be alone for a little while. I'm feeling tired."

"Your friend Kate is here. Should I send her away?" Mom asks Ana.

"Could you just tell her that I'm sleeping? It won't be a lie once I take my pain medication."

"Sure sweetheart," and she is out of the room.

"Ana please don't put me out." I can't go through that again.

"You don't have to leave, but I'm taking my medicine and going to sleep." She rolls to her side and grabs her pill bottle. She pops one in her mouth and she drinks some water behind it. She lies on her side and she doesn't roll back over to talk to me. I watch her breathing slow and even out. I continue to watch her until Flynn walks in.

"Hello Christian, how are you today?"

"Hello John. What are you doing here?"

"I was just coming to check on Ana. How is she doing?"

"Not so great thanks to me and my fucking mouth."

"What happened?"

"I said she wasn't my girlfriend in front of my family. She already has low self-esteem John. Now I've made her think that I don't want her to know my family. She has always thought that, but it's not true. I love her. I have been in love with her ever since I first saw her when I was fifteen year old. And now that I have found her I have been screwing up monumentally with everything I have said to her. I don't want her to run from me. I need her here."

"Well maybe you should tell her that. She needs to hear those words Christian and engage your mother in this. Encourage her to come in and talk with her. Don't make her think that you'll be mad if she talks to your mother. She wants to feel like she is good enough Christian. Make her feel worthy."

"I'm the one who isn't worthy of her."

"You both are broken. You have had intense therapy and she may also need it."

"I know she does. I want to heal her. I want to help her and keep her safe."

"Then do that for her Christian, but you will either be with her or you won't and if you will then you have to start accepting that Ana is your girlfriend and not your submissive."

Is that how I see Ana, as my submissive? "I don't mean to see her that way, but John that is all I know."

"Ana has been abused Christian. Maybe she can't take the BDSM lifestyle. It may scare her away from you."

"Nonsense. Ana knows what I do in the bedroom and she has accepted it. She has been my friend regardless of the fact that I was into different things when it comes to sex and she was getting abused then. Why would she turn away from it now?"

"Christian you're looking at this all wrong. She wasn't participating in those acts with you. She does not know—"

"Look I have to at least try. I need this John. She has to accept all of me. I need control just like I need her to trust me. This will help us. It will build us up higher. I feel it."

John sighs and looks at me sadly. "I guess you are set in your goals. I will have to let you figure this out on your own then." With that he turns and walks out of the room. I look down at Ana's

sleeping form. She accepted who I was a long time ago. There is no way that she will run from me now. Right?


	11. Chapter 11: What I Need

**A/N: I assure you that I will not keep Christian the way he is. He may seem like a horrible person right now, but I am trying to keep him close to the way he was in the first book in the trilogy, but bring my own character in as well. Don't worry though. Ana will keep him in line. As you all may have been able to tell, she handles him very well. Thank you all for your reviews and support. Enjoy chapter eleven and happy reading!**

* * *

It has been three weeks since I was released from the hospital. My shoulder is completely healed and it only has a sore ache from time to time when I raise my arm above my head. I haven't really spoken to Christian very much since he decided that I wasn't his girlfriend. I can't believe he made me feel like shit in front of his family. This is why I never wanted to meet them. I knew he would be ashamed of me. I never realized that I held out hope for my assumption to be wrong.

I dry my eyes and continue to get ready for work. I wasn't sure if I still had a job, but when I asked my new boss he told me that his boss said that under no condition was I to be fired so he replaced Hyde with me. I was confused by this until I remembered Christian saying he bought the company. Well one thing he cannot buy is my love. If he wants me to forgive him for embarrassing me then I want him to prove himself. No amount of flowers sent to my apartment (which Kate and I have been tripping over for weeks) or jewelry sent to me in the mail, or lunch delivered to my job is going to make me forget how he treated me. He has been nothing but rude to me since we reunited after all these years. Christian has always been that way, but never towards me. He has always thought of sweet ways to regain my affection. But this time he is just getting on my nerves. I'm starting to doubt that he even really loves me.

I break off those thoughts and pull my thigh high boots into place and zip them up. I have on a dark purple sweater dress and black stockings. I feel decent enough to take on the day. I open up the door and I barrel right into Christian.

"What the hell are you doing out here?!" I sputter at him. He is dressed in dark gray sweat pants, a hoodie, and running shoes. He is drenched in sweat and breathing extremely hard.

"I was running and I just ended up here," he heaves at me. "Why haven't you been returning any of my calls, emails, or text messages?"

"I wasn't aware I was supposed to be. The last time I checked I wasn't your girlfriend. So I see no reason to continue this conversation." I try to side step him, but he only blocks me.

"Ana you're not my girlfriend."

"Christian at first I was hurt, but now you're really starting to piss me off," I growl at him.

"What do you expect me to say?! Confess my love for you and then just carry you off into the sunset? That's not the way I operate Ana and you know it. There has to be a mutual agreement between the two of us if this is going to work."

"What do you mean a mutual agreement?" He can't be talking about what I think he is.

"You know what I mean Ana. Now come with me." He grabs my hand and I pull away from him.

"I'm not going anywhere with you. I have to go to work." I try to side step him again, but he blocks me once again.

"That has been taken care of. You are not expected at work today now come with me." He pulls my hand again and when I try to jerk it away this time his hold only tightens. I panic only slightly and then I remember that this is Christian.

"Let me go now Christian."

"No. You will come with me Anastasia. You will come willingly or I will pick you up and carry you over my shoulder. It's your choice Ana."

From my experience I know that he is serious, but I refuse to back down. "Christian I swear to God if you don't get out of my way I'll—"

"You'll what Ana?"

I get so angry, because I don't know what to say, that I try to shove him out of my way. I aim for his shoulders, but he steps back slightly and I lose my footing and I continue forward and my hands land in the middle of his chest. His eyes nearly bug out of his head and he pushes me off of him so hard that I fall flat on my ass. He flings himself to the other end of the hallway. We sit there and stare at each other for a moment before he finally breaks the silence. "Look at us. What the hell are we doing?"

I shake my head and look down at my knotted fingers.

"Ana I'm sorry. Seeing you again and then you ignoring me for the past three weeks has put me in a really bad mood. I miss you and I would like for you to come back to my place so we can talk. Please, Ana?"

"You have been the jackass of the century to me Christian. You used to be so kind and thoughtful, but now I hardly even recognize you. What happened to you? We were inseparable. I loved you so much. What did I do to you?"

"You did nothing to me Ana and I want to make it up to you. Please let me do that. And I hope when you say that you loved me that that is not in the past tense. Please. It's too late for you to go to work now. Just come with me and I'll make everything right I promise. I want to be with you so much that it's hurting me. I hate to see you this way. I always seem to make you sad." He looks down with a shameful look on his face.

I sigh and say, "Alright, I'll come with you Christian, but we have a lot that we need to work through."

"I agree. Come. Let me help you up." He stands and offers me his hand. I take it and he pulls me against his body and stares down at me for a moment. Just when I think he might speak he shakes his head and leads me out of my apartment building. We walk outside and get in the back of his waiting SUV.

"I thought you said you ran here." I look at him with an arched brow in confusion.

"I did, but I don't go anywhere without Taylor. He either runs alongside me, behind me, or he drives when I'm in a… particular mood."

"And today was one of those moods it seems."

"So it seems Anastasia." He turns his head and stares out the window and I do the same. We ride in silence for about five minutes before we pull into the underground garage of his stately apartment building. Taylor parks in front of the door to the lobby leading to the elevator and comes around to open my door. I smile at him and he gives me a small smile back. Christian grabs my hand and pulls me away as his bodyguard gets back in the car to go and park it. Christian pushes the call button for the elevator and as we wait, a very handsome man joins us. The elevator arrives and we all board. The man presses the button for the eleventh floor and turns to us and asks, "What floor?"

"I live in the penthouse. I have to input a code." The man's eyebrows fly up and he looks at Christian with amazement.

"You must be Christian Grey. I was told that you lived here, but I've never had the opportunity to meet you." He puts his hand out and says, "Blake Frost. It's a real pleasure to meet you."

They shake hands and he turns to me. "And you are…?"

"Anastasia Steele." I put out my hand and we shake and I see his eyes roam over the entire length of my body. I blush furiously and look down. The elevator has now come to a stop on his floor, but he hasn't noticed because he is still blatantly staring at me with a rather dazed look. Christian clears his throat and the man is jolted back to reality. He nods at Christian and smiles at me and then he exits the elevator. The door directly in front of us is the door to his apartment and before the elevator doors close I see him turn and look back at me with a look that can only be described as wonder and maybe even awe. The doors close on him and Christian punches in the code for his penthouse rather roughly. "What's with you?"

He glares at me and says, "It looks as if another heart has been snared under you bewitching spell Miss Steele."

"What are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about you and this…" He waves his hand to indicate all of me. "This voodoo or this spell that you seem to put on men."

I snort out a rather unladylike laugh and say, "I have been accused of lots of things in my life, but never have I ever been accused of witchcraft."

"Oh I think you know and practice witchcraft very frequently." He looks down at me in all seriousness. He can't really think that I'm a witch can he? Of course he can. He's Christian Grey. The elevator stops before I can say anything else on this matter and he takes my hand and leads me out. We enter his great room and he seats me on the couch. "Would you like some wine?"

"You drink this early in the morning?"

"You wouldn't believe how relaxing it can be, but no I don't make a habit of it." He comes and sits next to me and it's as if a light bulb has gone off in his head and he asks, "Have you eaten at all this morning?"

"I had a banana and some yogurt when I first got up."

"That isn't food Ana."

"Well I don't know what you call it, but it was pretty fulfilling to me."

"I don't have time for your smart mouth Anastasia."

"You rarely ever do Christian."

He sighs and smirks a bit before he says, "We need to talk."

"About what," I ask.

"The relationship that we're forming needs to be… structured. It needs to be a mutual agreement between the both of us."

"There it is again, that mutual agreement nonsense. What the hell are you talking about?"

"You know how I am Ana. I need you to submit to me. I need us to trust each other and be able to connect on a deeper level."

"Submit to you? Are you fucking kidding me? If I've told you once then I've told you a thousand times I am not your submissive."

"That's true, you aren't my submissive, but you can agree to it Ana. You can sign the contract and make it a mutual thing. I want you to do this for us."

"And what about what I want? Do you even care?"

"Of course I care, but you haven't even tried it. You don't know if you'll like it or not."

"I'm positive that I won't."

He sighs very hard and gives me a frustrated look. "Come with me." He stands and stretches his hand out to me. I take it hesitantly and he pulls me from the couch and practically drags me through the rest of the room and up the stairs. He stops in front of a pair of white double doors and looks at me. "I've told you absolutely everything there is to know about this lifestyle, but the one thing I have yet to do is show you exactly what it's like. Maybe if I do that then I can explain better what everything is, what it means, and how it works."

I roll my eyes at him and say, "Just open the damn door Christian." He looks at me for a second longer before he finally pushes down on the handle and opens the door. I walk inside of the lowly lit room and it takes a minute for my eyes to adjust, but when they do it takes everything in me not to scream. I look around with wide panicked eyes and I can hear Christian talking and I see him pointing at things and explaining, but I can't make out what he is saying over the roar of my own blood and the sound of my heartbeat in my ears. This is why he wants me? He wants to beat the shit out of me just like all the rest of them because he has "dead mommy" issues. I look around slowly before my eyes rest on him. He has fallen silent and he is staring at me with wide eyes. He looks afraid.

"Ana. Don't do that. Don't cry. Why are you crying?"

"I thought you were different Christian. I thought we could have meant something different to each other, but you're no different from everyone else. You don't want more with me. You just want to use me like everyone else. Just like Stephen…" I whisper to him nearly heaving as I speak his name for the first time in ten years.

"Ana I would never treat you like that asshole did. I want to love you and protect you, but I need it to be this way. This is the only way I know how."

"Well I need it to be some other way. What about what I need? You say I haven't tried this, well Christian you haven't tried either." I close my eyes and I can now feel the tears rolling down my face. "Why can't you be normal? Why do I have to love someone so fucked up? Haven't I been through enough?" I don't realize that I have said it out loud until I hear him gasp.

"You don't mean that," he whispers.

I shake my head at him and say, "I have to go. I can't be here right now."

His eyes widen and now he looks truly scared to death. "You're running from me?"

"Christian I can't—"

"No! You can't do this to me when we've only just found each other. I finally got you back and you're leaving me again?" He shoves his hand in his hair and pulls hard enough to make me wince. "You can't do this Ana you just can't. I love you! Don't you understand? I've loved you for years. Please don't do this to me. Don't do this to us." He cups my cheek and his eyes are pleading with me. I want to be all that he needs, but thinking about him hitting me makes me think about all my years of abuse. He isn't any different from _him_. He wants to hurt me and what's worse is he's going to enjoy it. I am crying uncontrollably now. I shove his hand away from my face and mumble incoherently about needing to leave and I run from the room. I don't know why I expected anything different, but I hear him chasing after me. I start to run as fast as my heels will allow me to and I dash through the great room past Taylor and the housekeeper who are locked in an intimate embrace in the foyer. I breeze past both of them and push the call button for the elevator and thankfully it opens immediately. I rush inside and press the 'door close' button. I hear him coming. I hear the sound of his shoes falling on the porcelain floor and the scream of my name and his plea for me to stay and then I see his face. It is absolutely heartbreaking to see him this way. This is the same way I left him eleven years ago after we blew up on each other. He sat outside my window all night and all day pleading for me to let him in. But this is different. He looks a thousand times worse than that day.

"Ana please don't do this. Please don't leave me before I've had a chance to explain." The doors begin to close and I hold down the 'door open' button.

"Christian you've been explaining ever since we were kids and quite frankly I'm tired of listening. I don't want to be in a relationship with anyone who wants to do nothing, but hurt me."

"It's not about pain Ana and you know that. I've told you this a million times. You know that I would never hurt you."

"Do I know that Christian? You say that, but that… Red Room of Pain up there says differently! I don't deserve this! You don't know what it's like to be continuously hurt by the people who are supposed to love you when you've never hurt anyone in your entire life! What did I ever do to you for you to want to do this to me? I'm sorry that your mother hurt you, but I'm not her. You can't hurt me because you want to hurt her. She is dead! She's gone. You can't hide behind her forever. The longer you do, the more people you'll watch walk away from you." With that I allow the doors to close and I leave his pain ridden face behind. I slide down the elevator and sob. I can't continue to let men treat me like this, not even Christian Grey.

* * *

I stare at the elevator for a full ten minutes before I see movement in the corner. I turn to see Taylor and Gail emerge from the security of the darkness. "Sir is there anything I can get you?" Gail asks me.

"Ana. I want you to get me Ana," I say and I turn to look at, not Gail, but Taylor. "Please Taylor. Bring her back to me."

"I'll do everything I can, Sir." He turns and goes to take the service elevator. I walk back into the apartment and look around. It is very bright in the room and I realize that it is not even ten in the morning yet. It seems like I have aged one hundred years. I have lost her again and this time I drove her away. She compared me to that sick bastard. I am nothing like him! _Aren't you Grey? You witnessed the cruelty that she experienced, which had nothing on your past. She had a fucking nervous breakdown when she was nearly raped and you think she could handle that shit?! _I shake my head against the voice speaking to me. I don't want to hear the truth. I want my Ana.

I wonder back to my playroom and I look around. I still don't get it. I don't understand what's so horrible about the way I live. I know that it isn't conventional, but it is how I am and I can't change that, can I? I climb in the bed and fall asleep thinking of nothing, but blue eyes and brown hair.

"_Count!" I hear myself say. _

"_One!" I know that voice. I would know it anywhere. The scene in front of me becomes clear and I am holding a whip. I draw back and bring it down hard, cracking it across a woman's back. She whimpers and collapses across my whipping bench and she says nothing. _

"_I said count!" She screams out the next number and I continue to beat her until I see red welts form on her back. She is crying and begging me to stop, but I don't because 'stop' is not a safeword. I continue even as she sobs and screams for me to stop. I only hit her harder. _

"_Christian please I can't do this! Don't hit me anymore." I continue to hit her even though she is begging me to stop. She begins to turn over and before I can stop it the whip comes down in a wide arch and it hits her from her right eye all the way to the edge of her belly. The blue eyes stare back at me in horror, begging and crying. Ana. No! I would never do this to her. The scene shimmers in front of my eyes and changes. I am now standing over a thirteen year old Ana in her childhood bedroom with a leather belt in my hand. She has no shirt on and she has turned over and tried to take the belt from me, but I am still hitting her. I don't care that she has turned over. I hit her over and over again across her face, her chest, her stomach. I am getting sick, but my hand refuses to stay still. Suddenly my vantage point changes and I am looking through the crack in Ana's closet as Stephen beats the shit out of her with a leather belt. I feel so sad for Ana and I feel angry because I can do nothing, but watch. The scene changes several times with Stephen and Ana in different positions and different beatings taking place. I am glued to the spot helpless to do anything. I am crying and trying to scream, but nothing is coming out. I need to save my Ana, but she is not safe with me either. I hurt her. I beat her like a common sub and I didn't even care when she told me to stop. I can't take this anymore. I am not a monster like him. I want to protect her and keep her safe. All I can see is her face contorted in pain as I beat her with a whip and a belt. No! No! NO! _

I wake up screaming and sweating. I take in my surroundings and realize that I am still in the playroom.

"Mr. Grey! Please open the door, Sir. What's wrong?" Gail is frantically jiggling the door knob. She has the key to the room, but she won't enter and invade my privacy while I am in here. I can't move. I am looking at everything around me. I imagine bringing Ana in here as I have for the past three weeks, but I don't get aroused like I used to. I am disgusted with myself. Who knew that it took empathy for me to understand her? I cannot believe myself. I get out of the bed and I head for the door. I have to find her. I have to let her know how sorry I am and that I love her. I have to—

My thoughts come to an abrupt halt as I throw open the door.

"Hey."

"Ana." I see Taylor standing behind her smiling. He nods to me and takes his leave. I look back at Ana. "What time is it?"

"It's three in the afternoon. You've been in there a while. Gail has been yelling for you to open the door for hours."

"Ana I'm so sorry for earlier. I shouldn't have forced you to try anything. You were treated so horribly as a teenager and I don't want to contribute to that. I'm not a monster Ana and I'll prove it to you if you'll just give me a chance." I am begging her.

"Christian I don't think you're a monster. You never have been. I love you, but I can't give you this." She waves her hand to indicate my playroom.

"I don't want you to. We can try something else. We can try to be… normal. But I'm not sure I know how."

"Well then we'll just have to learn together. Maybe we should start by being friends again." I don't like that, but at least she is here. She kisses me on the lips very softly.

"What made you come back?"

"You have a very persuasive bodyguard."

I send up a silent prayer of thanks to the divine powers smiling down on me and I make a mental note to give Taylor a raise. I take her by the waist and lead her down the stairs and what she says next has my heart stopping. "That guy we met on the elevator is really weird. I saw him when I was on my way out and he held the door for me and he just stood there staring at me and smiling. He asked if I needed a lift anywhere, but of course I declined. I tripped over the curb trying to fend him off and he helped me up and he held me for an uncomfortable amount of time. I mean I literally had to pry myself out of that guy's arms. He's really creepy Christian. I felt… threatened. I'm probably overreacting, but I swear he just gave off a really bad vibe."

"No baby you're not. I'll run a background check on him and check him out. Will that make you feel better?"

"I don't want to pry into anyone's life…"

"If you feel threatened in any way I will pry, pull, and crack open lives for you." I kiss the top of her head and then something strikes me and I smirk at her.

"What?"

"You felt him give off a bad vibe?"

"Yeah, that's right."

"You know that's a sign of witchcraft baby."

"Oh shut up Christian."

I smile at her, but I now understand why men used to accuse women of being witches. I am completely bewitched by Ana. She has put a spell on me something fierce. I look down at the woman in my arms. She wields some powerful magic.

* * *

**A/N: Hey guys. I was thinking of starting another story. I was reading one about Ana losing her memory. Well I wanted to take that and reverse it and make Christian lose his memory. I have an idea of where I want it to go. What do you guys think? **


	12. Chapter 12: A Talk with Taylor

**A/N: Alright guys. Most of you have responded positively to the whole Christian losing his memory thing so I'm going to go ahead and start writing that, but this story will be my top priority. As I said before I plan to take it very far and I won't break it up into different books so you have to go and search for them. I'll keep it all in the same book until I feel like I've reached the end, but if you keep asking for more I will give it to you. Thank you for your support! Happy reading! P.S. There is a surprise at the end of this chapter! :)**

* * *

I slide down the elevator and sob with everything I have in me. I love Christian with all my heart, but I cannot believe that he could be this stupid. How could the thought even cross his mind that a BDSM relationship would be alright with me? I can't believe that he has stomped all over my heart, leaving me a broken mess. Again! I won't let him do this to me. I just won't. I dry my eyes and I push myself up to stand on shaky legs. I straighten my back and square my shoulders. I haven't cried since I was fourteen years old and I will not let Christian Grey turn me into a puddle of tears.

The elevator dings to let me know that I have arrived on the first floor and the doors slide open to reveal the lavish lobby. I step out and run into a man that is walking briskly towards the door.

"I'm so sorry."

He looks down at me irritated for a moment before he smiles warmly at me. It is the man that we met on the elevator before we went up to the penthouse.

"It's quite alright. Anastasia right?"

I nod at him and I murmur a good day to him before I walk away swiftly. I look over my shoulder and he is watching me a little too close for my comfort. Before I get to the door he comes up behind me to offer his assistance. "Please allow me." He opens the door for me. I mutter a thank you to him and I try to take off once again, but, being the ungraceful klutz that I am, I trip over the bit of unleveled ground and fall on my hands and knees. I feel strong arms wrap around me and for a wild moment I think that it is Christian, but that electricity I feel between us is absent. I look up into chocolate brown eyes. "Are you alright?" I nod silently and I allow him to help me to my feet. I make a slight move to step away and he follows me. He is staring at me in a way that makes me extremely uncomfortable. The only person who has ever looked at me that way is Christian. I am getting a bad vibe from him, but it is nothing like what I felt with Jack or even _him_. The look in his eye shows adoration, not lust. I'm getting very unnerved so I wiggle my way out of his hold.

"Well thank for helping me and for holding the door for me. I have to go now."

"You're walking?" He frowns at me in disapproval and I swear he reminds me of Christian.

"Yes I am."

"Please allow me to drive you. You shouldn't have to walk anywhere."

"No thank you I think I can manage. Goodbye and thanks again."

I walk away as fast as I can. I don't want to, but I do it anyway. I look back and he is still there standing in the same spot staring after me. I turn back around and I feel my cheeks warm as I blush. I don't feel like he is a threat to me. Well, not much of a threat because I did feel a bit threatened. I don't know how I know, but I am positive that this man is going to be trouble for Christian in the future. But why would he be? We aren't together. I forget all about Mr. Blake Frost as my thoughts turn back to their depressing nature. I walk slowly up the sidewalk trying to choke down the lump in my throat. I will remain a virgin for the rest of my life because as God is my witness I will never love another. He has ruined me for all other men.

I continue to walk aimlessly when a black SUV pulls up on the side of me and the window rolls down. I look up startled when I see Taylor's hardened face looking down at me and attempting to smile, but not really pulling it off because it looks forced. "Hello Miss Steele. Would you like a ride home?"

"No thanks, I can get myself there. I know the way," I say sarcastically.

"I'm sure you do, but I would really just like to talk."

"Look, I don't know what Christian asked you to do, but I'm not getting in that car just for you to carry me back to him. I don't want to go back up there. That is not the Christian I fell in love with. That man up there is a monster."

I look over at his face and if I didn't know better I would say I just pissed him off. I keep walking and he continues to drive slowly alongside me. "Alright I'll make you a deal. If you get in the car and promise to hear what I have to say and you feel differently, you will come back with me to Escala. If you listen to what I have to say and you still want to go, then I'll take you home. Do we have a deal?"

I look at him for a moment before I finally nod and he stops the car and I get in. He drives down the street and gets on the freeway and hops into traffic before he starts talking. "Anastasia… may I call you that?"

"I prefer Ana actually."

"Ana. Mr. Grey is very distraught and beside himself after what just happened. I have never seen him like this. I am not sure what your previous relationship was or how you two even know each other, but he has never acted this way behind a woman before. Not even behind that bitch…" He clears his throat. "Excuse me. Not even behind Elena."

"I can see she isn't in anyone's fan club."

"No she isn't. But don't you see what your actions will do to him? It will drive him back to her. Believe me when I tell you I have done everything that he will allow me or pay me to do to keep him away from her. She is not someone that I would want my daughter to look up to."

"You have a daughter?"

"That's not the point right now Ana." He looks over at me and arches an eyebrow at me. I sit back and shut up. "The point is he acts differently with you. Gail and I realized it the first night you were there." At my confused look he says, "Gail is Mrs. Jones, Mr. Grey's housekeeper."

"Oh right I remember. So do the two you have a thing going on? Oh my God! That's a song! 'Me and Mrs. Jones! We got a thing, goin' on!'" I sing and giggle to myself, but I shut up immediately at his icy glare. "Sorry…"

"If you're finished?" I nod and he continues. "Not that it is anyone's business, but yes we are a couple, but that's neither here nor there. Point blank Ana, I may just be his employee, but I have worked for Mr. Grey for a very long time. I consider him to be my friend. Actually he is more than that. He is like family. I hate to see my family in pain. He may be rough around the edges Ana, but he is a good man who deserves to be happy."

"You don't have to tell me what Christian deserves. I know him better than anyone and believe me I know what he needs. I just can give him what he needs. I know that he deserves happiness and love and, quite often a knee to the balls." This elicits a laugh from Taylor.

"This is why you need to go back to him. You are the only one who can stand up to him and put him in his place. He is used to being the dominant. Now he has you. You are the one person who challenges him in every way. Don't you see Ana? You are exactly what he needs. He needs a change. This BDSM shit has gone on long enough. He needs help. He thinks that this is the only way there is for him. You say that you know him, well then help him Ana. Help him understand what love is. Bring him to life. But one thing that you will do if you turn your back on him is destroy him. You didn't see him these past three weeks. He had me ordering every kind of flower you could think of. We went to the most expensive jewelers and ordered the most exotic jewelry. When you wouldn't return his calls he was frantic. He hired a new bodyguard and had him follow you everywhere."

"What?!"

"His name is Luke Sawyer. You'll meet him eventually I'm sure. He was worried about you Ana and Christian Grey doesn't worry about anyone except those who are nearest and dearest to him. If you don't mind me asking, how did the two of you meet?"

I sigh and say, "I met Christian when I was thirteen years old. I was getting bullied by three boys in the park and he saved me. We were best friends ever since that day. My stepdad was abusive to me and my mom and sometimes Christian would spend the night with me when I was too scared to sleep alone. He spent so many nights with me that I can barely remember sleeping alone. My other stepdad Ray came and adopted me on my fifteenth birthday and Christian and I were separated. It broke my heart to have to leave him, but I couldn't stay in that house with that monster. I thought he would understand, but as you may remember, he was pretty pissed at me the night he saved me, once again, from Jack. He doesn't understand that I can't do what he wants me to. I can't be a sub. I have had enough of the men in my life wanting to beat the shit out of me and fuck me like an animal. I am a lady! I deserve to be treated with care. I deserve… I deserve…" I begin to cry because I can't finish my sentence. Maybe I don't deserve those things. Every man I have ever met wants nothing from me, but to hit me and rape me. Maybe that is the universe's way of telling me that I need to accept what it's throwing at me and move on with my life. Maybe it doesn't get any better than the Jacks or Stephens of this world for me.

"Miss Steele," Taylor says quietly. "You're right, you do deserve better. I assure you that Christian can give you better and so much more. He's a good man Ana. He just doesn't know how to express how truly good he is. Maybe you should just talk to him and tell him all the things that you told me. You'll see what a great listener he is. Just give it a try. Please?" He looks down at me and I look back at him before I sigh and finally nod my head in agreement. "Thank you Miss Steele. I promise you that you won't regret it."

"And if I do?"

"Then I will allow you to give me the knee in the balls that Mr. Grey so desperately deserves." He smiles cheekily at me and I laugh.

"You've got yourself a deal Taylor."

"Jason. My first name is Jason."

We turn around and head back to Escala so that Christian and I can work through our damn differences. I hope this works because if it doesn't then it will be my complete and ultimate destruction.

* * *

**SURPRISE: Alright guys. This is the first chapter to Fifty Shades Lost. If you like it then I will keep going, but if not then we'll just keep going with story. So here goes. I hope you like it!**

* * *

**Fifty Shades Lost:**

I caress my wife's pregnant belly and smile down at her. She is the most beautiful woman on the face of this earth and I thank God every day for the family that he has blessed me with.

"Daddy up!" I look down at my son, Teddy. He just turned two a few weeks ago and he is so smart. He uses his big blue puppy dog eyes on me and I laugh and swing him up into my arms. He giggles and it sounds so much like his mother's. When they giggle together it sounds like angels are singing for me.

"Will you be home in time for dinner?" Ana is looking at me with hope in her eyes. I didn't get to make dinner last night because one of my teleconferences ran a bit long so they came to the office and surprised me with lunch.

"I promise you that I will be home for dinner baby. What are we having?"

"Baked salmon, roasted potatoes, green beans, and mac and cheese. I had her make that as an extra incentive for you to hurry home to us." She smiles a wide grin up at me and I laugh. My angel knows me so well.

"Well in that case I will be home early. Now go home and rest. You look tired." I kiss her forehead and I walk them to the revolving doors.

"Come on Teddy, daddy has to go back to work now."

"But mama I wanna stay with daddy," he whines to Ana.

"You can't. Daddy is busy right now." Our son begins to sniffle and tear up and I can see that Ana is about to offer him some kind of sweet to get him to go with her.

"Listen buddy. If you go home with mama right now I'll take you for a ride in Charlie Tango this weekend. How does that sound?"

"Can mama come too?" I laugh. He is just like me. He is always concerned about his mother.

"Of course she can."

He thinks for a moment and then he wiggles out of my arms and jumps into Ana's. She stumbles back with the extra weight in her arms and she smiles and shakes her head at me. She covers his ears and whispers, "You do know that I can't fly right?"

"Well he doesn't have to know that right now."

She shakes her head once more and then kisses me and says, "We'll see you at home. Enjoy the rest of your day baby. I love you."

"I love you too daddy!"

"And I love you two as well. I'll see you later."

I watch as Sawyer helps them into the car and wave as they slowly drive away, probably at Teddy's request. I catch movement to my left and I look across the street. Elena is standing outside of her white Mercedes and she is glaring daggers at my wife's car. I don't think she even sees me. What the hell is she doing here? She takes a long drink from a bottle of liquor and she gets in the car. I call Taylor. "Yes Mr. Grey?"

"Where are you?"

"I am coming back from lunch. I'm driving down the street. I see you standing outside. Is something wrong sir?"

Before I can answer Elena screeches down the street in the opposite direction as Ana and Teddy. I am about to relax, but she turns the corner. Taylor stops in front of me. "Get out of the car."

"Yes sir." He gets out and gets in the passenger side. I want to tell him to go in the building, but I don't have time to argue with him so I just roll my eyes as I get in the driver's seat. I catch up to Ana and Teddy and we follow closely behind them. We drive for a moment before we come up on a four way intersection. That's when I see her. She is waiting for them to pull out. Sawyer drives forward oblivious to the danger that is to the left of the car.

"Please don't do this Elena," I murmur. I hear her tires screech and she speeds forward. I drive forward and hit the bumper of my wife's car and send them lurching up the street just in time for Elena's car to slam into the side of mine. There is a deafening roar in my ears as the car spins out of control. I cannot move. I wish Taylor had not gotten in with me. He would be safe back at the office. I need to know if my wife and son are alright, but there is splitting pain down the left side of my body from my head to my toes. I am losing consciousness. All I can see in my mind is Ana's face and then I see nothing at all.

* * *

**A/N: Now I'm going to put this to a vote. Do you want Christian to lose Ana from his memory or do you want him to lose everything? I can promise an interesting story if all he loses is Ana, but I think I can make a good story if he loses everything. The choice is yours my faithful readers! P.S. Would you like me to make it another book or would you rather it be a happy surprise at the end of the chapters in this book? Decisions decisions! :)**


	13. Chapter 13: A String of Bad Luck

**A/N: I decided to go ahead and write Fifty Shades Lost and so far it has gotten a positive response. The first chapter has been posted as a separate book and I will continue with it there. I will also be updating my chapters on here and on my blog, but I'll make sure to upload them here first. If you want to check out the blog just go to fifty shades in different ways .wordpress .com (no spaces though of course) where you can find both the stories and later on I'll be putting more stories up that probably won't make it on here.**

**I want to respond to a few questions and comments: **

**StellaBellaXO: "Why is she going back so quick?" I didn't feel that it was necessary or that it would be interesting to extend their separation. I thought about it, but they have already been apart for a long period of time so I didn't want to make her stay away from him for longer than necessary. **

**KATMcK: "O I want it all…" Thank you so much for that. It made me very happy. If you want more than just these two takes on the story, check out the blog a little later. I'm still updating it, but I will have more than these stories on there. **

**Thank you for your support. Here is chapter thirteen. Happy reading!**

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I sit Ana down at the breakfast bar and kiss the side of her neck. "Are you hungry?"

"A bit, but not for anything too heavy. Maybe I'll just have a sandwich or something. Sit down, I'll make it."

"Nonsense Miss Steele," Gail said once she materialized from what seemed like thin air. "I'll be happy to make you and Mr. Grey some lunch."

"Oh no I wouldn't want to keep you from anyone. I mean anything!" Ana blushes furiously and looks down and bites her lip. Shit! Why is that so hot? I look at Gail and she has an embarrassed look on her face and I am irritated that I am not aware of what has apparently gone on in my own home.

"N-no Miss Steele I am not busy at all. I would love to make you lunch. I'll get right to it." She rushes around the kitchen at lightning speed while Ana watches her with a private smile and hums a song. I try to catch it, but I don't think I know it. I am about to demand to know what is going on when Ana says, "So what are we doing for the rest of the evening?"

"What would you like to do?"

She shrugs and looks up at me shyly through her eyelashes.

"Well we could go have dinner."

"I'd like that."

"Good I'm sure my mother would love to have us." She gives me a startled look, but before she can protest I give her a quick kiss on the lips. "Don't worry about anything Ana. My family will love you I promise. You are an amazing woman and you have been since we were teenagers. I don't know why I didn't insist on this before now."

"Christian you really don't have to prove anything to me. We don't have to go eat with them. We can go out somewhere or just stay in."

She is rambling on and on and I can see how nervous she is. I caress her face and say, "Baby calm down. There is nothing to worry about I assure you. I'm going to go call my mother and let her know that we'll be joining them for dinner." I kiss her cheek and head into my study to give my mother a call. I sit behind my desk and dial her number. While it rings Taylor steps in my office. I hold a finger up to him to indicate for him to wait.

"Christian?"

"Hey mom. I was wondering if you and dad were planning on eating at home tonight and if so could you invite Elliot and Mia over so we could all have dinner together, you know, as a family."

"You're coming over?"

"Yes I am and I'm bringing someone very special with me."

I hear a rustling on the other end and her voice drops to almost a whisper. "Is it the girl from the hospital? The one who brought me that note?"

"Yes the very same. I hope you don't mind. If it's too much trouble then we can—"

"No! It's not trouble at all sweetheart. Please bring her by. I've been meaning to ask you, how do you know this girl? How long have you known each other?"

"We met when I was fifteen. She was thirteen. She was being bullied by some punks at the park and I kind of stood up for her. We've been friends ever since then."

"Well why haven't we heard anything about her before now? And why did you never introduce us to her or bring her by? And why—"

"Mom! It's sort of a long story. I'll fill you in on the details later. I really want her to meet you all. She is a bit shy and she isn't sure about the way she should act. I want everyone to make her feel welcome."

"Of course sweetheart. I wouldn't have it any other way. Christian… are you in love with this girl?"

I sigh deep and long before I answer. "Yes mom. I love her very much. I have been in love with her for very long time now."

"Will you marry her?"

I lose my breath at that. I've never thought about asking Ana to marry me. Do I want to marry her? I try to imagine my life without her and it hurts extremely badly. "I never gave it much thought mom, but now that you mention it I'll think about it. I'm not sure I'm the type of person she'll want to marry, but let's take things one step at a time ok?"

"Christian, my sons and daughter deserve the best love that there is. They already had that with their family and why shouldn't they have that in a relationship as well?"

"I don't know mom…"

"Well I do know. Now you bring that lovely girl by so we can finally welcome her to the family."

"I will mom. I have to go I'll talk to you later. I love you."

"I love you too honey. Oh wait! Do you remember that friend of Anastasia's, Katherine Kavenaugh?"

"Yes I remember her. What about her?"

"Well the day that she came by to see her friend and I sent her away, Elliot and Mia were leaving and she and Elliot really hit it off. I think they're dating now."

Ana never mentioned that. Maybe Miss Kavenaugh never told her? "Mom I never took you for a gossip," I say jokingly.

"Oh hush Christian. I just thought that you should be warned."

"Well thank you mom. Look I have some business to attend to. I'll talk to you later. Bye."

"Bye sweetheart. I'll see you tonight. Dinner will be ready at seven."

I affirm that we will be there and I hang up. "What is it Taylor?"

"Miss Williams called your business line earlier. It seems that she left a few items here and she would like to come and retrieve them."

"I'll have them mailed to her."

"She has insisted on coming by. She says the items are of a personal matter and she would not feel comfortable allowing strangers to handle them."

I sigh long and hard. "Fine she can come by tomorrow afternoon, but I want her in and out. The last thing I want is for Ana to come home and find her here."

"Of course sir." He turns to leave.

"Jason."

"Sir?"

"I want to thank you for bringing my girl back to me. Your pay will be a few thousand higher." And I still don't feel that that is enough. My Ana is worth much more than every penny I have ever made.

Taylor steps closer to my desk and looks me straight on. "May I speak freely sir?"

"Of course you can."

"Christian I don't want a raise."

"But—"

He holds up a hand to silence me. "I don't need that money. You pay me too much as it is." He turns to walk out, but stops and without turning says, "Besides, you are my best friend and like a brother to me. I will always look out for my family and family has no price. Good day Mr. Grey." With that he exits my office.

I stare at the spot that he has just vacated for a moment and then I smile to myself. I have never thought about how much my staff cared about me. I always thought they hated me for being so controlling and that they were disgusted by me for my lifestyle choice. But I never thought that this is what they thought of me or how they felt. I will have to start doing personal evaluations. I am drawn from my thoughts when there was a soft knock on my study door. "Come in."

Ana pokes her head through the door and says, "I'm sorry. I don't want to disturb you. I just wanted to let you know that the food is ready. I was going to bring it to you in here, but if you're busy I can just put it in the fridge or something"

"I'm not busy. I'll join you out there."

"Alright," she says and then backs out of the door. I get up from my seat and walk to the door when the phone rings.

"Grey."

"Mr. Grey we have a problem sir."

"What is it Welch?"

"That guy Jack Hyde that shot your girlf— um… I mean Miss Anastasia Steele has been released from jail."

"What?! How the fuck did that happen?!"

"I'm not sure sir, but someone bailed him out of jail. I was positive that you would want to know."

"I want to know everything there is to know about this. I want to know who is behind this and I want to know Hyde's whereabouts. I want this information soon Welch, no fucking around. And then call Barney and tell him that I want him under surveillance. I want to know where he is, what he's doing, and why. This fucker better not be able to go take a piss without my knowledge. Is this clear?"

"Yes Mr. Grey. I'll get on it right away."

I hang up and go to join Ana at the breakfast bar. "What's wrong?"

She always could see right through me. "Nothing you should concern yourself with."

"Christian, don't keep me in the dark about things. I was nearly raped and I was shot. I think I deserve to be in the know about everything so that I can be on my guard."

I sigh and say, "Jack Hyde has made bail."

Her eyes widen and I see that she is beginning to panic. This is why I didn't want to tell her. She has been through enough and anything sets her off and puts her on the precipice of a breakdown. "What?! He can't be out. He tried to rape me and then he turned around and tried to kill me the very same night! How could people let a monster like that walk around the streets? Why would they even give him bail? This isn't fair. But of course this happens. Bad things always happen to me. He's going to kill me, but better make sure he gets a good fuck in first before he puts a hole in my head!"

"Anastasia that's enough! No one is going to kill you! I will protect you from any and everything. Don't you ever let me hear you talk about yourself like that again. How can you give up before we have even been presented with a problem?"

"Because it's typical. All my life I have tried to fight back. I even enrolled in self-defense classes, but what good did that do? Where _he_ didn't succeed, someone else will."

I am staring at her is shock. I don't even think she realizes she's crying. It is now that I realize that Ana needs serious help. She is going to drive herself half insane if she continues to live with these self-esteem issues and this fear. I place my hand very slowly on the side of her face and wipe away her tears. "Ana baby, I need you to calm down. Take deep breaths for me." Once she complies I say. "No one is going to harm you. I will kill anyone who thinks to take you from me. Hyde is lucky that Taylor was there to save him or else this conversation would be happening with three inches of glass separating us." This earns me a small laugh from her.

"I don't want you to go to jail. You're too pretty." She smiles up at me and I know she is teasing me. The mood in the room has lightened immensely.

"I am going to take care of everything baby. I don't want you to worry about anything. But right now I want you to eat and then we'll go get something for you to wear tonight to my parent's house. Dinner is at seven."

"I'm not really hungry anymore. I'd just like to go get some clothes and lie down. My head is beginning to hurt."

She looks up at me and from the terrified expression on her face I can tell that mine is as hard and cold as granite. "You will eat Anastasia and you will clean your plate."

She stays frozen with her terrified expression for a split second longer before she narrows her eyes at me. "Christian I am a grown woman, not a five year old. If I choose not to eat because I am not feeling well then I won't."

I stare at her in disbelief. "Why is it that you can challenge me, but you shut down when people try to rape you? Ana that makes absolutely no sense. Why do you do you do that?"

"Because you don't scare me. You've never given me a reason to fear you so I feel completely safe with you. I don't feel like every time I mouth off to you you'll slap me around." She reaches out and strokes my cheek. "You're a good person."

I frown at her admission. I don't think I'm a very good person. I'm a sadistic son of a bitch. I don't know what the hell she even sees in me. "Fine, don't eat, but you had better eat when we get to my parent's house and if you dare to tell me no so help me God Ana I will take you over my knee and give you the spanking you so desperately deserve."

She laughs (laughs!) and says, "Whatever you say Christian. Now take me home so I can find some clothes."

"Actually I would rather buy you something to wear."

"Why would you do that when I have my own clothes?"

"I want to choose something for you if that's alright?"

"Fine, whatever." I shake my head and pull her from her stool.

"Shouldn't we clean this up?"

"Gail will handle that. Grab your purse and let's go." While she goes to retrieve her things I call Welch.

"Sir?"

"I want a full back ground check done on a man named Blake Frost. I want to know where he works and what he does. Find out any incriminating history if there is any and the seriousness of it.

"Yes sir Mr. Grey, I'm on it right now."

I end the call just as Ana walks back into the room. "Ready?" I ask.

"Yeah let's go."

Shopping with Ana is like pulling teeth. She doesn't want anything expensive and she hardly likes anything I pick out. I have come to the conclusion that she hates shopping. Out of all the women in the world I have to fall in love with the one woman who hates to shop. I am beginning to see the irony in my life. I hold up another dress for her to try on.

"Christian I can't wear that!"

I look down at it and back at her. "Why not?"

"Because half of the material on that dress is transparent and it's way too short!"

"Ana you have beautiful legs and great skin. Why not show it off?"

"Show it off to your parents?"

"Hmm, you do have a point. Well, we'll get it anyway for future outings. How about this one?"

I show her a plum dress with quarter sleeves and a square neckline that doesn't show cleavage.

"It's still short Christian."

"But it's a beautiful color. You will look stunning in it."

"Fine just buy whatever damn dress you want." She turns around and storms out of the store. I stare after her for a moment and then I shrug. I turn and go to the register to make my purchases. On my way I see a pair of purple Christian Louboutins that match the dress perfectly. I pick them up and continue to the register.

I go upstairs to wake Ana up to let her know that we are leaving in twenty minutes. I walk in the door to the guest room and my breath is stolen from me. Ana is standing in front of the full-length mirror admiring herself. Her legs are so very shapely and long even though she is rather short. Her skin is like that of the finest porcelain. She is absolutely ravishing. She spots me in the mirror and turns her head to look at me over her shoulder. "Well? What do you think?"

I walk over to her and tilt her head back and give her a long, deep kiss. "I think I want to rip you out of that dress and fuck you into next week."

She looks up at me with hooded eyes and gasps out a small "oh."

"Come—"

"I was thinking the same thing," I hear her mutter and I bark out a laugh.

"Oh Miss Steele you are pushing me. Let's go before I throw you on that bed which wouldn't be pretty. I believe your deflowering should be special not spontaneous, wouldn't you agree?"

She blushes a pretty red and then she wiggles out of my arms to walk out of the door. As we descend to the ground floor in the elevator, I can feel the hum of electricity between us, but it is off somehow. I look down at Ana and she is staring very intently at the floor and twisting her fingers back and forth. She is biting down so furiously on her lip that I think she may draw blood at any moment. I place my hand over both of hers and she jumps a bit. "Ana there is nothing for you to be afraid of. My family will love you." She looks down again at my words. I sigh and say, "If it makes you feel any better your friend will be there."

She looks at me with wide eyes. "Kate? Why is Kate coming?"

"Because it seems that she and my brother have developed a 'thing' for each other. It started when you were in the hospital."

"Why wouldn't she tell me about this?" She sounds hurt that her best friend has kept this from her.

"I think it is because you were quite upset with me at the time and she didn't want you to be angry with her for dating your best friend's brother."

She shrugs and mutters, "I guess."

The elevator opens and I usher Ana to the car. Taylor opens our doors and once we are seated and strapped in he pulls out of the garage and onto the freeway. We ride in silence for the entire twenty minutes that it takes to get to my parent's home. Taylor pulls up into the driveway and comes to open my door so that I can open Ana's. "Are you ready?"

"I'm as ready as I'll ever be." I take her hand and kiss it before we walk up the steps to the front door and I ring the bell. About two seconds later my little sister is swinging open the door with a bright smile on her face.

"Well hi!" She says excitedly to Ana.

"Hello," Ana whispers.

"I'm Mia in case you don't remember." Ana sticks her hand out to shake it and Mia pulls her in for a great big hug. "It's really nice to see you again. Christian's never brought a girl home before. This whole dinner was actually quite a surprise."

"Mia where are mom and dad?" I interrupt before she can keep going.

"They're inside in the living room, come in!" She bounces off in the direction of the living room and I roll my eyes and take Ana's hand and lead her into the house. When we get in the living room Ana is bomb rushed by Katherine Kavenaugh. "I'm so glad you're here! I'm sorry I didn't tell you about me and Elliot getting together. I didn't think you would want to know because you were so upset with him." She jerks her head in my direction.

"It's alright Kate I'm not mad." She backs up and Elliot shakes her hand.

"It's nice to see you again Ana. Kate's told me a lot about you."

"All good things I hope?" There are bad things?

"Of course."

Once he moves out of the way my mother comes up and hugs her. You may remember me as Dr. Trevelyan-Grey, but you can call me Grace. This is my husband Carrick."

"Hello Mr. Grey." She puts her hand out for him to shake, but he also pulls her in for a hug which shocks me.

"Please, call me Carrick."

Once everyone is finished loving on Ana they turn their attention to me and I am assaulted with kisses and handshakes. After the love fest is over we all take a seat on the couches.

"So Ana, where did you and Christian meet?"

"Oh we met when we were younger."

"How young?"

"Mia enough. Mom."

"Mia I'm sure we'll get all the details on Christian's relationship soon enough. Right now I think Gretchen is signaling that dinner is ready."

We all stand and head to the dining room. Ana tugs on my sleeve and whispers, "Christian I don't feel so good. Maybe I should just have Taylor take me home."

"Ana everything is going to be fine. There is nothing to be nervous about I promise."

"But Christian—"

"No buts. Come on they're waiting for us." I grab her hand and take her into the dining room with the rest of the family.

Dinner is not very eventful. Mia enchants us with stories of her trip to Paris and how I should take Ana, but I know Ana wants to go to London to be closer to the characters in the romance books she reads. We talk, eat, and laugh and I can tell that my family is truly smitten with Ana. She is being very polite, but she looks very uncomfortable and deathly pale.

"Ana are you alright?" My mother asks her.

"Yes I just really need to use the bathroom. Excuse me."

"I'll come with you." I escort Ana to the bathroom and we barely make it inside before she leans over the toilet and releases everything her stomach has to offer. I kneel behind her and hold her hair. She pukes for about ten minutes more and then she starts to dry heave. By this time my mother is standing in the doorway, accompanied by Katherine Kavenaugh.

"What happened? Is she alright?"

"I'm not sure. She told me she was sick earlier, but I thought it was just nerves."

"Let me see." My mom bends down and touches Ana's forehead. "She's burning up. Tell Carry to go get my medical bag out of the room and Kate you help me get her to the couch."

I do as my mom tells me and then I rush to the living room and take Ana's hand. "Baby what's wrong?"

"My stomach hurts really badly," she moans at me. Dad walks in with mom's bag and she retrieves a thermometer.

"She has a temperature of 103 degrees, but I think it may get worse. I can only do so much here. She'll have to go to the hospital."

"No, please don't make me go back there," she sobs.

"Baby you need help. You're sick. I'll be there with you I promise."

I drop her hand so that I can lift her from the couch. She is incredibly light. All the more reason for her to eat more. We get outside and Taylor is sitting on the porch swing reading. He looks up when he sees us. He says nothing and he goes to open the door to the SUV.

"I'll come with you," my mom says.

"We all will," Mia asserts from somewhere behind her.

"I don't care what you do, but they'll have to drive. I'm not waiting any longer to get her some medical attention." I get in the car and mom climbs in behind me. I can see everyone else running back in the house, no doubt looking for car keys. I look down at Ana and she is now flush from vomiting and her fever. "It's ok baby. We're going to get you some help." I kiss her head and hold her close as we drive to Seattle Grace.

"She has the flue."

"What the hell?"

"The doctor who was checking her out just informed me. We can go see her now and everyone can calm down. She's going to be fine."

I walk in Ana's room and the first thing she asks is, "Can I go home now?"

"You'll be being discharged in about an hour or so," mom assures her.

"Good. I hate hospitals."

"Baby, how did you end up the flu?"

"It's the flu Christian. I don't know how I got it. I probably caught it from someone at work."

"Well you should be more careful and much more hygienic."

"Are you calling me dirty?"

"I think what my son means is that you can never be too careful so you may just want to take a few more precautions in the future," my father says and I shoot him a grateful look for saving me.

The door opens and I nearly lose my shit when I see who walks in. "Hello everyone. My name is Dr. Frost. Hey Ana."

"Hey," Ana says shyly.

I don't fucking believe this!

* * *

I think I fell asleep in Christian's arms because when I wake up I am staring into a pair of the loveliest chocolate brown eyes.

"Hello Miss Steele. Do you remember me?"

"Yeah you're Blake Frost, the guy who lives in Christian's building. What are you doing here?"

He laughs low and deep and says, "I work here. I'm a surgeon."

"I had to have surgery?! On what?"

"No Ana. I saw when Dr. Trevelyan brought you in and I told her you were a friend of mine and that I would be honored to look you over and take good care of you."

"So what's wrong with me?"

"You have the flu. It's not serious, but if you don't take proper care of your body then it can be deadly. I'm going to put you on bed rest for about a week and if you feel any worse or even the same as you do now then you need to come back and we'll admit you. I'll prescribe you some antibiotics and I'll also give you a list of foods you'll need to eat to keep your strength up. You need to drink lots of fluids like water, Gatorade, and fruit and vegetable juices. Go easy on dairy products. They won't mix well with your fever. No soda at all. That would be counterproductive."

"I think I can handle that. Thank you Dr. Frost."

"Please, call me Blake."

I blush and say, "Blake." Then he gives me a panty dropping smile and I swear to God he looks just like Christian. I don't understand why I keep finding parallels when it comes to the two of them. They do look alike though. The only difference is their eye color. Where Christian's eyes are a beautiful gray, Blake's eyes are a molten chocolate brown. Even their hair matches with its copper color and too long state.

"I'll go tell Dr. Trevelyan about your current state and then I'll be back shortly. If you need me… um I mean if you need a nurse then you'll just press that button on the side of your bed." Then he leaves.

I sit there alone for a moment when Christian comes in. I inquire about when I can go home and I am to be discharged within the hour. Christian begins to go in on how I got sick. I want to roll my eyes, but I think better of it. Just as we probably would have argued with each other, Dr. Frost walks in.

"Hello everyone. My name is Dr. Frost. Hey Ana." He gives me a smile and I mutter a shy greeting to him. He nods at Grace and shakes hands with Christian. "Ana you're all set to go home. Here are the discharge papers and a list of acceptable foods and drinks. This paper is the prescription for the antibiotics." He turns and begins to speak to Christian. "She is being placed on bed rest for at least a week. If she is not feeling any better after that then notify me and I will extend the time, but if she feels any worse she needs to come back here immediately especially if her fever gets any higher. The flu can be cured as easily as the common cold, but if it is not properly treated then it can be deadly. I assume that she'll be staying with you Mr. Grey?" When Christian nods he turns back to me and hands me a card. "This has my work and cell number on it. If you need anything just call me. If you remember I live on the eleventh floor of Escala so I'm very close if anything comes up." I reach out to take the card, but I am intercepted by Christian.

"Thanks. We'll keep that in mind, but I'm sure it won't be necessary," he all, but growls at him. Dr. Frost seems unfazed by his hostility. He hands me the papers and with a goodbye to everyone and a dazzling smile to me, he leaves.

"Well someone has got it bad for you Steele," I hear Kate giggle.

"He's just a really nice guy is all," I whisper.

"Nice guy my ass," Christian grunts.

"Was it just me or did that guy look just like Christian?" Elliot asks.

"Oh my God doesn't he?" I agree.

"He does _not_ look like me!" He throws me a furious look and I blush and look down.

"Just hand me my clothes so I can change and go home."

Christian grunts at me, but passes me my clothes. Everyone leaves to give me some privacy and I dress quickly so I can get the hell out of here.

I wake up with a sore throat, nausea, and I am way too hot. My left arm is also numb. I flex my fingers and I freeze. My left hand is in the middle of Christian's back. I crack my eyes open and I see that my right hand is in the middle of his chest. How did I let this happen? I peek up at Christian and his eyes are closed and he is breathing deeply. He's still asleep. I try to slide from under him without waking him, but he is too heavy. I make to move my hand from his chest and I nearly scream when he grabs my wrist and places my hand back where it was.

"Christian—"

"Shh. It's alright. I need this."

"How long have we been like this?"

"It happened a few hours ago. I nearly hyperventilated at first, but I'm alright now. It feels nice to have you touch me. I know it's you. You're touch is different." We lie in silence for a while before he says, "I have to go to work. I won't stay long. Maybe until about one and then I'll come back home and take care of you."

"I don't want you to rush to do anything. I'll be fine here." No sooner than the words leave my mouth I begin to cough uncontrollably. He frowns and assures me that he'll be back by one-thirty at the latest. He rolls out of bed and goes into the bathroom. I feel like I should return the wonderful gift he gave me this morning. I have longed to touch Christian ever since he jumped away from me that night in my room. I watch him as he prepares for the day. He comes over and kisses my forehead.

"I'll be back before you know it baby. I love you."

"I love you too. Christian?"

"Yeah?" I don't say anything, but instead I grab his hand and run it through my hair. "Baby you don't have to do this."

"I want to. I know how much you like my hair, but you've never had a chance to touch it."

"It feels amazing, just like I always knew it would." He leans in, picks it up, and inhales.

I start to get nervous. "Alright I think that'll do," I whisper.

"I'm sorry baby." He kisses my forehead again "Thank you. I'll see you in few. Bye baby."

"Bye Christian."

The day was largely uneventful and the apartment was entirely too big without Christian there. Gail made me the best chicken pot pie I've ever eaten then she gave me some orange juice and sent me back to bed.

"Miss Steele?"

"Yes Gail? And please call me Ana."

"Ana. I'm going to the store to catch up on a bit of shopping. I'll be back shortly."

"How are you getting there? Christian took Taylor and Ryan is out sick. The only person left is Sawyer and Christian left him here at the house with me."

"Oh I'm just going to walk. The supermarket is only a few blocks away."

"Oh please don't walk Gail. Take Sawyer with you."

"I couldn't. Mr. Grey would be very put out with me if I left you here by yourself with no protection."

"Seriously Gail? Who can get up here?"

She gives a little laugh and says, "True. Alright I'll take him if it will make you happy."

"It will. Thank you."

A few minutes later Sawyer walks in and says, "I've been instructed by Taylor to let up a Miss Williams. She is scheduled to come and pick up a few things and then she is to leave immediately."

Miss Williams? "Alright then. I'll make sure she gets in."

He nods and then they both leave. I get up and take a blanket and a cup of English Twining's Breakfast tea to the T.V. room. I have just settled in when I hear a faint buzzing sound. I get up and follow it down the hallway to the security room. I press the "answer" button and say, "Um… hello?"

"Hi I'm Leila Williams and I'm here to get my things."

_Leila!_ That's the sub that Christian had the night we found each other again and he brought me here. She confessed her love for him that night. Was that honestly three weeks ago? I hear the buzz again and a "Hello? Are you still there?"

"Um yes, just a moment." I buzz her up and then I go and sit in the foyer to wait for her. The elevator dings and she steps off. "Hi I'm Ana." I stick my hand out for her to shake.

She takes it and says, "Oh I know exactly who you are man stealer!" I yank my hand back.

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me. You took him away from me. He would have fallen for me, but then you just had to ruin things didn't you? I fucking hate you, you man stealing bitch!"

I am about to reply when she pulls out a gun and points it directly at my head. Fucking great.

"Oh you have got to be shitting me." This is the second time someone has tried to shoot me. Why? Is my luck so bad that random people keep trying to kill me?

"Now here's what's going to happen. You're going to go downstairs with me where my partners are waiting and then the four of us are gonna go for a little ride. Got it bitch?!"

When I continue to stare at her she cocks the gun and I nod my head. We get on the elevator and she puts her gun in her jacket. The elevator stops on the eleventh floor and Dr. Frost gets on.

"Ana. I thought I told you to stay in bed."

"Um I'm just going to um… check Christian's mail. His housekeeper forgot to do it and she asked if I would while she ran to the store." Leila is behind me so I start to signal him with my eyes and I mouth, "_Help me!" _I think he understands because his eyes narrow and he nods imperceptibly.

"Well make it fast or I will call Dr. Trevelyan to find a way to get ahold of Mr. Grey." He says the last part of the sentence with meaning and I know he will find a way to tell Christian that I have been kidnapped. The elevator opens and we walk to the mailboxes and we wait until Blake leaves before we go outside.

When Leila shoves me into the car I hear a voice say, "Well hello Ana."

I look up and see two faces I never expected to see again and definitely not together. Then someone hits me and my world goes black.


	14. Chapter 14: Fighting Back

A/N: Well I was really bummed out about the reviews the last chapter got and I almost didn't write this one, but I thought I write because it's what I love to do not to be intimidated by other's opinions. First I would like to start by saying that if you want to make a rude comment then make an account so that I can properly respond. Second, I have already expressed that you may have an opinion about my story, everyone will I'm sure, but there is a difference between critique and rudeness. But to respond to the comments I am not trying to make Ana seem stupid. That is far from the concept of the story. I am trying to keep it interesting and introduce new conflict. This is also a part of Ana conquering her fears and becoming a stronger person. Third I NEVER gave anyone the impression that the third person in the car was Jack Hyde. Last, but certainly not least I will say this one last time: IF YOU DON'T LIKE THE STORY THEN DON'T READ IT. No one is forcing you to continue to follow this story, but I must be doing a pretty good job if you keep coming back. I think I have made my feelings crystal clear now. Thank you to all of the others who have been so supportive and breathlessly await one chapter after the next. Well wait no longer. Here is chapter 14. Happy reading!

* * *

I am sitting at my desk staring intently at a stack of papers that I should have read over hours ago, but my mind keeps drifting back to Ana and my eyes keep floating to the clock. It's only twelve-thirty. I sigh in frustration. I still have thirty minutes before I can go and be with Ana. She is sick and she probably needs me to force food down her unwilling, stubborn throat. She never eats properly. I am drawn from my worrying over Ana when Taylor walks in.

"Sir, There is a Doctor Blake Frost here to see you. He says that it is about Ana and it is very urgent."

I panic immediately. What happened to her? He said it could get worse if not properly taken care of. We haven't even gotten the chance to care for it yet. "Let him in."

Within seconds the doctor is standing in front of my desk looking like hell. "Ana's been kidnapped."

My world falls away from me. Why is this happening to her? Who would do this to her? _Jack Hyde. _That mother fucker! I'm going to kill him with my bare hands. I stand up and walk around my desk and call for Taylor.

"How do you know this?"

"I saw her on the elevator with another woman. She mouthed 'Help me' to me."

"So why the hell didn't you?!"

"I came and got you didn't I? I didn't know what else to do. I panicked. I wasn't going to attack a woman. Plus she may have had a gun."

"Are you afraid to get shot? She took my girlfriend!" Then something occurs to me. "What did this woman look like?"

"She was a brunette with brown eyes I think."

My stomach drops. _Leila. _Why would Leila be working with Jack Hyde? Unless she isn't. And that only leaves Elena. Elena never did like Ana and now that I want to change for her that isn't sitting too well I imagine. Shit! That means Elena will take her to…

"Oh my God. We have to find her. We have to go now. She's in danger. Terrible danger. Are you going to help?" I look at him, not really caring for his answer as I search for my keys to my R8.

"Of course I'm going to help. She asked me to."

I find my keys and walk to the door and throw, "Then let's go," over my shoulder.

We get in the car and pull from the parking garage and a black SUV follows me. Taylor. Something occurs to me. I pull out my phone and call Sawyer.

"Sir?" He answers on the second ring.

"Where the fuck are you and why aren't you with Ana?"

"She asked me to go with Mrs. Jones to the store so she wouldn't be alone. We just got back. It took a bit longer than expected. Is something wrong sir?"

"You bet your ass something is wrong. Ana is missing! You should have been watching her no matter what she said! You're fired!" I terminate the call before he can say another word. I drive like a maniac to the only place I can think of.

"Where are we going?"

"To Elena's house."

"Who is Elena?" I ignore him and put my phone on the deck in the car and pull up the app that tracks Ana's phone. The dot is blinking on Escala.

"Shit!" I hit the steering wheel with my fist as I pull to a stop in front of Elena's house. I jump out and begin banging on the door. No answer. I go and grab my keys from the ignition and unlock the door. I search everywhere. Frost has gotten out to help. "Keep checking around down here. I'm going upstairs." At his nod I race up the stairs to the playroom. I jiggle the handle and it too is locked. I kick in the door. Nothing. Where the fuck could they be? I keep checking around upstairs, but the house is empty. I go back downstairs.

"There's no one here," Frost informs me.

"Sir, I have checked the grounds out back. It is empty." I run both hands through my hair and pull. I race back to the car and track the Audi I gave Leila. The dot blinks on her address. They wouldn't go to her apartment would they? Anything is possible.

"Taylor. Go check Leila's apartment."

"Yes sir," and he is gone. I then trace the tracker I put on Elena's car when I bought it for her for her birthday. The dot blinks over an address I do not recognize. I put the address in Google maps and it pulls up a warehouse. Bingo. I call Taylor and give him the address and tell him to meet us there and then I am speeding there myself. _I'm coming Ana. Hold on. I won't let him hurt you again._ We pull up in front of the warehouse and both me and Frost shoot out of the car. Taylor pulls up and is also running to the door. We all burst through and stop in our tracks. The scene before me is absolutely horrifying.

* * *

When I wake up I do a mental survey of myself without opening my eyes. I test my hands and they and my feet are, surprisingly, free. The back of my head hurts like all hell and I am freezing. My throat feels like it's on fire. I open my eyes and immediately regret it.

"Hello Ana. Daddy missed you." I screw my eyes shut and try to back away, but I can't seem to move. This illness is getting to me. I feel slow and disoriented. His fingers trail down my cheek. "Oh come now. Open your eyes and see what I have here for you." When I don't comply his hand trails around to my neck and he grabs a fist full of my hair and pulls hard. "I said open your eyes!" I gasp and open my eyes to see him holding himself. He yanks my head to his erection and I start to struggle, but I am too weak. "No. Not this time. You're going to get what you've wanted for so long, what you've begged me for." NO! Why is this happening to me? Why is he here? I hear a giggle and I look to my right as I continue to struggle. Both Elena and Leila are standing to the side watching as my stepfather tries to rape me. This time it won't end the way it used to. This time he'll get what he wants from me. Carla isn't here to stop him. I can feel the vomit rising in my throat. I try to stop it, but I can't and it breaks through and soaks his lower half.

"You stupid fucking bitch!" He yells in my face. He slaps me and I fall back. He kicks me repeatedly in the side and in the face before someone comes and stops him.

"Why don't we just go clean this up and I'll make sure you're taken care of before we come back and… handle her."

"Fine. You. Take that robe off of her and watch her. If you hear anything or she makes any sudden moves, kill her." My robe is taken from me and I start to cry. What have I done? What do people have against me? I look up at Leila and she is standing directly over me holding a gun. She looks a little nervous. Her ankle is close to my hand. I feel a rush of adrenaline take over my body. I have resigned myself to the fact that I am going to die, but if I do I will go out fighting. I think, _I love you Christian_, and then I wrap my hand around her ankle and yank her down to the floor. The gun goes flying out of her hand and sliding across the floor. Before she can recover I climb on top of her and slap her in the face. She opens her mouth to yell, but I wrap my hands around her throat and squeeze with all my might. When she begins to struggle I squeeze tighter. Her movements begin to slow and then they stop altogether. I let go and I see that my hand prints have bruised her neck. I can't think about her right now. I roll off of her and I grab the discarded gun and wait.

When Elena and Stephen come back in the room I am standing in the middle of the floor with the gun pointed at them both. They are surprised, but Stephen is the first to recover. "I told you we should have tied her up! You and your good for nothing flunky can't get anything right!" He yells at Elena. He looks at me with a soft expression. "Ana. Give me the gun. You don't want to do this. Just give it to me and I promise we won't hurt you." He starts to walk towards me and I cock the gun. "Ana. Do you really want to go to jail? If you kill us then you will rot in prison for the rest of your life and be someone's bitch. Is that what you want?" I shuffle from foot to foot. I don't want to go to prison, but if I give him the gun he'll kill me. I don't want to kill him. As much as I hate him I don't want to kill him and I regret killing Leila and I am secretly hoping she is alright. I am not a murderer. He must see my indecision because he decides to run towards me and in a moment of panic I raise the gun higher and fire. Stephen drops to the floor with hole in his head. I stare at him for a moment before I look at Elena. Christian would hate me forever if I killed her. Ray's words drift back to me. _If you can help it, aim to injure, not to kill. If a person can't walk, then they are helpless to fight back Annie, remember that._ Her eyes grow wide and I know that she is about to run so I change the angle of the gun and rapidly blow out both of her knees. She is screaming and rolling around on the floor.

"I'm going to kill you! You'll rot in jail for the rest of your life you stupid little whore! AAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!"

I stand in shock. I can't believe I have done this. I killed two people and I just injured another. I can barely stand to see a person run over a squirrel. I am a murderer. I belong in prison for what I have done.

I hear the door open again and I point the gun towards the newcomers. I see a man raise his hands.

"Ana. Put the gun down. No one is going to hurt you." I've heard that before. I cock the gun at the advancing man and he stops immediately. "Ana it's me, Taylor. Put the gun down. I'm not going to hurt you. You know that. Christian is here with me. Don't you want to go to him? Give me the gun." No. I won't give him the gun and I'm not going anywhere with anyone until I can properly see their faces. The light coming in from behind them is blinding and I can't see much of anything. If he decides to attack I'll be at a disadvantage.

"C-close the door." I stammer.

The door closes and in the dim light I can see Taylor, Christian, and Dr. Frost. "Christian," I whisper.

He runs over to me and ignores Taylors command for him to stay back. He gently pries the gun from my hands and drops it. Once I am in his arms I crumble. All the earlier adrenaline is gone. I feel like I am going to pass out "I killed them. I didn't want to. They were trying to hurt me."

"Shh baby. It's alright. No one else is going to hurt you. I'm here."

"She needs help." I gesture towards Elena who is still screaming.

"You need help. I barely recognize you. Come on let's go."

"But—"

"I don't give a shit about Elena. I want you safe and taken care of."

"Here." Dr. Frost hands Christian my missing robe and he puts it on me and picks me up and carries me to the waiting car.

"Doc, drive my car," Christian says and then he carries me to the SUV where I promptly pass out.


	15. Chapter 15: Say What You Need to Say

We all pile into the SUV leaving my Audi to Frost. The police have been contacted and informed of the situation. I climb into the car and settle Ana as comfortably as I can on my lap. I hear a tap on the window. Taylor rolls it down and Frost asks, "Shouldn't we take her to the hospital too? She's lost a lot of blood and I'm afraid if we leave her here she'll die too. And it will look terribly suspicious if we flee the crime scene."

"I don't give a fuck how it looks. I need to get Ana some medical attention. You can stay here if you like, but I'm going. Ana needs help."

"I'll stay with her until they get here. Go to the hospital and tell Grace to have Ana looked at, but the moment I get there I want to be the doctor who tends to her." I don't like the idea of him poking and prodding on Ana's naked body, but I don't care right now. As long as she is in good hands. I nod at him and Taylor rolls the window up and pulls away, speeding to Seattle Grace Hospital.

"Don't worry baby," I whisper in Ana's ear. "I'm going to get you some help. You're going to be fine. He can't hurt you anymore." I stroke her hair and murmur sweet peaceful things to her all the way to the hospital. Once we have arrived I get out of the car as gently, but as quickly as I can. I walk through the emergency room doors and I search for mom. I walk up to the woman at the information desk.

"Oh my God! We need a doctor!" She yells.

"Where is Dr. Grace Trevelyan-Grey?"

"She's doing emergency surgery," she tells me in a distracted and panicked voice. "A child had to have his appendix taken out after it ruptured. Sir, let me get a gurney for you."

"I need you to go and get her and tell her that her son is here and I need her to come to me immediately."

"I'm not authorized to take her out of surgery. I don't have that power. Sir, please. She looks awful and she's bleeding. At least let me find out where the blood is coming from."

I can't think straight. I need mom. I don't want anyone else to handle Ana except her, but I am wasting precious time. Ana could be dying in my arms from injuries and I am standing here acting like a stubborn child. A doctor comes rushing from the white double doors and I hear the receptionist mutter, "It's about fucking time…"

"Sir," the man says. "I'll take her and get her looked at. Just give her to me." I realize that I am holding Ana tightly to my chest. I lay her gently on the gurney.

"Dr. Blake Frost is coming. I want him to see to her once he gets here."

"Yes sir. I will make sure he gets to her." With that being said he turns and wheels Ana away from me. I stand there and gawk after them.

"Sir, would you like a cup of water?"

"She has the flu. Please let him know that she has the flu. That could have a negative impact on her health mixed with her injuries can't it?" I look down at her and she nods a bit.

"Come sir, let's get you in a chair." She steers me to one of the cold plastic chairs in the waiting room. I have a brief moment where I think about all the money I and my colleagues donate to this hospital. They could at least put a padded cushion on the damn chairs. I feel a Styrofoam cup being pressed into my hand. "Here you are sir. Drink that. The water is very cold and I think it'll help calm you down."

I take a sip of the cold water and she's right, it does help me calm down. I look up at her. She is a young African American woman who looks to be fresh out of college. She is very pretty and she has been nothing, but kind to me. "What's your name?"

"Cindy Matthews. What's yours?"

"Sit down Cindy Matthews." She takes a seat next to me. "What is it that you do here? You're the receptionist?"

"No actually. I was on my break and one of my friends, who is the receptionist, got sick so I was covering for her until they found the replacement. I'm a nurse here. I just started."

"You have been very kind and you took good care of me and saw that my Ana got care too. I will make sure that your next paycheck is very handsome."

Her chocolate brown eyes go wide and her mouth forms a perfect "O." "Who did you say you were again?"

"Christian Grey."

"The billionaire?!"

"The very same. You've heard of me?"

"Who hasn't? I had to do my term paper on you when I was majoring in business before I changed to nursing. Mr. Grey it's such a pleasure to meet you. If there is anything else I can do for you please don't hesitate to ask."

"There is something I would like from you. My mother is busy in surgery, as you have informed me, so I would like for you to be Ana's nurse. Are you good at what you do?" I raise a questioning eyebrow. The last thing I want is for Ana to be worked on by someone who doesn't know a bedpan from a scalpel.

"Oh yes sir. I love my job and I am very good at what I do. I would be happy to look after your girlfriend."

"Good. I want my mother to be informed of this situation as soon as possible. I still want her to be looked after by her, but you will do for now."

"Thank you sir! I'll go see what I can do to help." She hops up and disappears through the double doors. I sit back in my seat and close my eyes. I just want her to be alright. I just want her to be alright. I repeat this mantra in my head until I hear the automatic doors slide open and voices ringing out in urgency as a woman screams in the background. I open my eyes to see Elena being rushed through the emergency room with blood dripping from her knees.

Blake rushes in behind her and looks around. When his eyes find me he comes over and asks, "Where's Ana?"

"They took her to the back. I don't know where."

"I'll go find her and take over. You gonna be alright out here?"

"Yeah. Just go take care of my girl." His eyes tighten and his lips turn down at that. I get the feeling he isn't too happy about Ana and I being together, but fuck it. She's mine and I'll be damned if I let her go again.

Frost runs to the back and I am now left alone. I rest my head against the wall again and close my eyes. I send up more silent prayers for Ana to make it through this. After what feels like hours later, I feel a tap on my shoulder. I open my eyes and I see my mother's concerned face staring down at me. "Mom." I stand up and hug her. "How is she?"

"She's going to be fine. She has a broken nose and a cracked rib. Her eyes are bruised slightly, but other than that she'll be fine. I assume the blood they saw dripping from her earlier was coming from her nose. Nothing is too serious for us not to be able to fix it."

"And Elena? What happened to her?" Mom ushers me to a small break room before she says anything else.

"She just got out of surgery and she's been moved to a room where she is being questioned and will soon be taken in to police custody. I think you have some explaining to do Christian."

"Not now mom."

"Yes now Christian. I want to know everything. Tell me what's been going on between you and Elena."

"Mom, please. You honestly don't want to know."

"Christian you will sit down and you will tell me what I want to know whether you want to or think that I can handle it or not."

I sigh and realize that I won't get out of this. So we sit down and I start to tell her everything that has happened between me and Elena and it morphs into everything that has happened in my life since I was fifteen. I tell her about Elena, Ana and I's relationship, my lifestyle, my playroom, everything. When I am finished I feel about fifty pounds lighter. I have wanted to tell someone this for so long I realize. I have always wanted to be like Elliot and Mia, so open. I want to be able to trust someone and I trust my mother with my life, why not my deepest darkest secret?

"Mom?"

"Hmm?"

"Say something."

"I don't really know what to say. I mean it's your life honey and I can't judge you for the way that you choose to live it. God knows it's much better than what Elliot does to women…" She shakes her head and continues. "Do you want that with Ana? I mean from what you have just told me that poor girl has been through enough don't you think?"

"No I don't want that with Ana. She has made it clear that she can't handle the lifestyle and I don't want to be without her. So I'm trying to change for her. I want her to be able to trust me. I want her to be peaceful around me. I seem to keep setting her on edge though."

"Just be patient with her. She obviously loves you, but when someone is so fragile they need to be taken care of very delicately. I should know. I had my own that I had to handle with care." She looks at me and smiles. "Christian I want nothing, but your happiness, but I want you to make the right decisions. I want you to tell me honestly, can you have a normal relationship with this girl? Because if not Christian then the best and the honest thing for you to do would be to let her go."

"I can give her what she needs. She needs me. I can help her. I can love her. I am not giving her up ever again."

"Alright dear. I have to get back. I'll see you later."

"Mom. What rooms are they in?" I know she knows what I mean when I say 'they.' She tells me what I want to know and then she walks out of the door. I get up and make the trip that I desperately wish I didn't have to. I stand outside of Elena's room and contemplate what I want to say. When I walk in and she looks up at me with pain ridden eyes all of my carefully planned thoughts run from my head.

"I took up for you," I say. "Every time Ana had anything bad to say about you I verbally abused her because I thought you were my friend. You helped me in ways that I can't imagine. Or did you? Was it all just a game to you Elena? Do you think that you get to control every aspect of my life? You tried to kill her. The love of my life, my best friend. You tried to take her from me and that, Elena is unforgivable. I will never forgive you for this and I hope you rot in jail and after that I hope God shows you know mercy and throws you into the deepest, darkest, hottest circle of Hell."

I turn to walk away when I hear her whisper, "I loved you and you chose me over that little slut. I made you what you are Christian. Without me you would be nothing. You'd probably be dead if it weren't for me. I loved you more than anything and you wanted to run after that bitch. She deserved everything she got and so much more. She doesn't even deserve to walk on the same side of the street as people like you. You are superior. You are the mightiest of the mighty. You are master of your universe and it is all because of me! That little whore is nothing! She didn't give you shit to be proud of but I did! I loved you when no one else did. I did for you what no one could and you thought that I was just going to sit back and let her rope you in with her lies? I was saving you!"

"No! You were looking out for yourself and you dragged an innocent person into it. You played on Leila's mental instability and it resulted in her death and Ana will have to live with that for the rest of her life. Everyone's life is in shambles because of you. That's what you did Elena. You took lives and you screwed them up in the worst possible ways and you gave me nothing that I can be proud of. Nothing that I am proud of now. Ana gave me something to be proud of. She gave me a heart and that's a damn sight more than anything you'll ever have to offer anyone." And with that I turn and leave her to wallow in her self pity.

I go and find Ana's room. When I walk in I am shocked at what I see. There are nurses and doctors all around her bed Cindy, my mother, and Blake included. They are holding Ana down and trying to put her arms and legs in the bed restraints. Blake is holding a large needle that he is trying to stick in her arm. "What the hell is going on in here?" I demand.

"We think she may be having a waking nightmare. She's been traumatized and everything around her looks threatening. She is disoriented. We're trying to restrain her so she doesn't hurt herself and sedate her to calm her down," Blake answers. They finally succeed in strapping her to the bed and Blake promptly shoves the needle in her arm. She calms almost immediately. The sighs throughout the room are almost in unison.

"We'll be back to check on her later. Try not to make any sudden movements or sounds when she wakes up. Do your best to keep her calm at all times. If she starts to freak out again just press the nurse's button and we'll come back." I nod at Frost and sit down next to my girl. I take her small restrained hand in mine and I sit back in the chair next to her bed. This is going to be a long night.

* * *

After a long night of looking after Ana, Grey suggested that I go home and get some rest. Although I didn't want to leave her I knew that I would be of no help to her if I was half sleep so I took him up on his offer and I drove his car home. I get inside my apartment and I turn the water on in the shower. I head back out to my room to find some pajama bottoms to wear to bed. I strip out of all of my clothes and climb in the shower. I lean against the wall and as soon as I close my eyes I see her face. Anastasia. She is the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. She's so fragile, so broken. I would love to be the one she comes home to every night. To be the one who eases her fears and holds her when she cries. To be the one that makes love to her when she needs to feel care and tenderness. But she's with him and I would never take anything away from him. I never thought I'd see him again. I knew he wouldn't remember me. He was much too young. I think it's time that I told dad about him.

I sigh and finish my shower before heading back to my room. I pick up my cell and dial my dad's number. He answers with a rather cranky greeting.

"Dad it's Blake. There's something you need to know."

"Can't this wait until morning?"

"It is morning and no it can't wait. I need to tell while it's in my mind."

"What is it son?" He sounds more awake and alert now. "Are you in some kind of trouble Blake?"

"No. It's about Christian."

There is silence on the other end for what feels like an eternity. "You found him?"

"Yes dad. I found him. I knew that he was living in the building I'm in now, but it's so big that I didn't know the first place to look. Turns out he lives in the penthouse. Dad he's a billionaire. All we had to do was fucking Google him!"

"My boy is a billionaire. Did he recognize you?"

"No. He has no idea we're brothers." I choke up just a bit. My baby brother has no idea who I am. "I don't think he even likes me."

"Why would you think that?"

"I kind of have a thing for his girlfriend."

"What? Blake—"

"I know I know, but dad you should see her. She's absolutely amazing. I can see why he loves her so much. I haven't done anything out of line though. Well I may stare at her a little too much for his liking, but I don't flirt with her or anything. I'm completely respectful."

"Good. Blake you need to tell him and you need to do it soon. He has a right to know. And we have a right to be in his lives. She took him from us and hid him and the Greys got to him before we did. I won't let my son slip through my fingers again. You deserve a brother, a real brother. I want this family to be whole again."

"I'll tell him, but I don't think now is the right time. His girl is in the hospital and she's in pretty bad shape. I think I should let him deal with that first before I drop this bomb on him. I know he's gonna go ape shit over this."

"What do you mean?"

"Dad he's weird. Not in a bad way, just weird. He has anger issues and he's so damn controlling or maybe he's just protective. I'm not sure. It's a very fine line between the two with him."

"I don't care what he is. I haven't seen my boy since he was three years old and I'm not waiting any longer. Let's see. Today is Tuesday. You have until the end of the week to tell him before I come from New York."

"But dad—"

"No excuses Blake. Get it done. I'll talk to you more when the sun comes up. Let me get some damn sleep!"

I laugh softly. "Goodnight dad." We hang up and I flop back on my bed and stare at the ceiling. How the hell am I going to do this?


	16. Chapter 16: Family Ties

**A/N: Alright here are the answers to a few questions that came up.**

**My Piano:**** (1). "Is this a cheating story?" No this is not a cheating story. Although I enjoy reading those I don't agree with them. I don't think either of them could ever cheat on each other. I do, however love the fact that Christian is a jealous person so I may play with that, but other than that nothing will happen that I don't think you guys will like.**

**(2). "Is there a happily ever after for Grey and Steele?" Yes there will be a happily ever after. **

**(3). "Are you going to tell us about "the fight" they had eleven years ago?" Yes that will be explained. **

**April Garrett:**** "Was he beaten… and did Ella die from drugs?" That is still the case. The only thing different about the start of Christian's life is the fact that his biological father is in the picture and knows about him. **

**I think that's it. If you have any more questions please don't hesitate to ask. I will answer them all. Here is chapter 16. Oh and just a little note. I credit some of my work in this chapter to Stephen King, author of the Green Mile. Some of you may recognize it instantly for any of you who have read the book and/or seen the movie.**

* * *

I stir in my sleep and crack my eyes open. The light is dim. I try to move my arms, but I can't. What the hell is wrong with me? I look to my left and there is a man standing next to where I am laying.

"Hello Ana. Daddy missed you." I scream for everything that I'm worth. I try to get up from this prostrate position, but I can't move. Why can't I move? I look down and see that my arms are bound to a bed and my feet are also strapped down. _Oh God. This time it's going to happen. This is it. There's no one here to save me now. _I scream and thrash about, but it's no use. He's getting closer to me. Dear God what have I done to deserve this? Why can't he just die? Die… I killed him. I shot Stephen in the head. I saw the life leave his eyes. This isn't real. As soon as I think it, the room morphs into a different one. I am in a room facing a glass wall looking at a small room of people. I am still strapped to a bed but I am lying almost vertically.

"Anastasia Steele you have been sentenced to die for the murder of Stephen Morton and Leila Williams and the attempted murder of Elena Lincoln. The state mandated form of execution is lethal injection. Do you have any final words?"

"I didn't mean to kill anyone. It was self-defense. They were going to kill me. Please don't hurt me. Please please please…" I am sobbing and begging this man not to kill me. I look out at the sea faces and I try to plead with them, but no one is listening.

"You will now be injected with deadly chemicals that will pass through your body and proceed to shut it down until you are dead. May God have mercy on your soul."

Another man comes toward me with a very long needle. Once again I begin to struggle. I am struggling much harder than I did with Stephen. I don't want to die. I begin to scream at the people sitting and watching me. I beg them to help me, for them to tell this man that this is wrong. I scream louder and then I hear Christian's voice. "What the hell is going on in here?" I look for him, but I can't see him. I feel the needle pierce my arm and, just for a moment, I feel at peace before the darkness claims me once again.

I open my eyes again and I am afraid of what I may see. I see a light over my head, the same as last time, only this one is brighter than the last one. Am I in heaven? Or maybe I'm in hell and someone is just playing a cruel joke on me. I open my eyes wider and I see that the light is hanging from a ceiling. I look to my right and I see a white door. People are rushing past it in white coats and colorful scrubs. A hospital? I look to my left and I see someone slumped over in a chair sleeping. I look back up at the ceiling and the light blinds me. I try to move my hand to shield eyes, but it seems to be stuck to the bed I'm lying in. What the hell? I look down and see that my wrists and ankles are in bed restraints. Why would someone need to do this to me? I hear the door open and I close my eyes just enough so that it looks as if I am still sleeping. The person walks in and walks across the room to the sleeping person in the chair. I am afraid to breathe. I know what happened the last time I woke up and I would much prefer the attention to be on someone else in this dream world.

"Christian," the person says and nudges the man in the corner. Christian? My Christian?

"Christian wake up we need to talk." The man stirs and stretches before he looks up at the man before him.

"Frost." Blake? "Is this about Ana?"

"No, but I need to talk to you."

"If it isn't about Ana then what is so damn important that you had to wake me up? I haven't slept in almost three days."

"I know and I'm sorry, but this can't wait. There is someone here that you need to meet, but before you do I have something very big to tell you and you have to promise me that you're not gonna lose your shit when I do."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

He sighs really hard and then says, "Look there's no easy way to say this so I'm just going to come out and say it. Christian. We're brothers."

It is quiet for such a long time that I have to open my eyes completely to make sure they are still in the room. Blake is standing with his back to me blocking my view of Christian. I can only imagine the look on his face right now. He must be freaking out.

"What?" I hear him whisper.

"I'm your big brother Christian. When I was seven years old your mother took you from us."

"You're a lying piece of shit," Christian whispered, but there wasn't very much heat behind it. He sounded dazed.

"When my mom died our dad started seeing another woman named Ella. She seemed alright, but we knew something was… off about her. We didn't figure it out until a few weeks after you were born that she was a drug addict. Dad tried to get her clean. He paid for rehab and everything. She was doing well until some guy came around saying that she belonged to him. Dad promised that he would protect her, but she was afraid of him. On your third birthday dad and I went out to pick up your cake. The two of you stayed home because you weren't feeling well that day. She said she would stay home and take care of you while we went out. But when we came back the two of you were gone without a trace. Now if I'm such a lying piece of shit tell me how I know your mother's name. Tell me how I knew that she was addicted to drugs."

"Anyone can find that out by looking on the fucking internet."

"No they can't and you know it. All the internet has is that you were in a foster home in Detroit and that you were adopted by Carrick and Grace Grey."

"So you have looked me up. Who the hell did you get this information from? What do you want from me, money? Is that it?"

"We don't want your money Christian we—"

"That's bullshit! If it's not my money then what is it?"

"We want our family back."

I turn my head toward the voice that has just spoken and I see a man standing in the door. I gasp and rise up in the bed as much as the restraints will allow. I don't fucking believe this. If he didn't believe Blake just a minute ago he sure as hell can't deny him now. The man standing in this doorway is absolutely _gorgeous_. He looks exactly like Christian. The only difference between the two is that you can see the wear of the years on this man. His copper hair is sprouting strands of beautiful silver. His eyes are an even smokier gray then Christian's own. Blake is gorgeous, but he must take after his mother. If not for the age difference the two men in this room could be twins.

"Ana!" Both Christian and Blake rush to my bedside and begin shooting questions at me.

"Baby how are you feeling?"

"Does anything hurt?"

"Are you hungry?"

"Do you need pain medication?"

"Talk to me," they say in unison.

I look back and forth at the two of them. "I knew the two of you looked alike."

Blake gasps out a laugh. Christian runs his hand over my forehead and kisses me there. "Oh baby I'm so glad you're alright. You scared me."

"Can you get me out of these damn restraints?"

"Of course." Blake starts to unstrap my wrists and ankles.

When I am free I see that there are large red marks on my wrists and around my ankles. I rub my wrists and look at Blake in question.

"You've been struggling quite a bit since I put you in those three days ago. You haven't exactly slept well." I nod and I lean back to see past him and stare at the man that is still standing at the door silently. My God this man is beautiful. I look at Christian and I fall in love all over again.

I look back at the man standing in the doorway and say, "Hi. I'm Ana." He smiles widely at me and I nearly faint at the likeness this has to Christian.

"I'm Carter Frost. It's a pleasure to meet you Ana." I want to ask so many questions, but I get an odd feeling in my stomach. Oh dear God no…

"Dad, get the trashcan out of the corner," Blake tells Mr. Frost. He grabs it and puts it in my lap and I promptly throw up in it. I forgot I had the damn flu!

* * *

"We're brothers." It echoes through my head. I feel as if I have just been thrust into an alternate dimension. The only siblings I have are Elliot and Mia. I don't have a brother. He's lying. Right?

"What?"

"I'm your big brother Christian. When I was seven years old your mother took you from us." My mother? So he got the loving mother and I ended up with the crack whore. Where is the fucking fairness in that?

"You're a lying piece of shit." He goes on to tell me everything about 'my life' with my brother and father before I was kidnapped by the crack whore. I don't fucking believe this. I want to argue, but I know that he's telling the truth. There is no way that he could know anything about my biological mother unless he knew her personally. My own parents barely know about her. But why would my so called family just show up out of nowhere now? It's my money. I can't even have a decent family come to look for me. These pieces of shit are after the fortune I worked so hard to earn. He is denying it. But I know that's what it is.

"We don't want your money Christian we—"

"That's bullshit! If it's not my money then what is it?"

"We want our family back." I look up to see who has answered me and a man is standing in the doorway looking back at me and I swear I could be looking in a mirror. What. The. Fuck! I look over to see that Ana has woken up and is straining to see the man at the door. Blake sees this as well and we immediately start to fuss over her.

"I knew the two of you looked alike," she rasps out. Blake laughs and I kiss her and shift uncomfortably. After she is unstrapped from the bed she looks back to the doorway and introduces herself. When he smiles at her I swear I see her swoon. I am burning on the inside. If I make her hot and bothered then she must be feeling the same way about him. I look like a fucking copy of him! He introduces himself as Carter Frost. I stare at him for a moment before I feel Ana lurch.

"Dad, get the trashcan out of the corner." He puts the can in Ana's lap and she throws up tremendously. Fucking flu. I rub her back and grab some napkins from the sink next to her bed to wipe her mouth.

"I'm sleepy Christian."

"Alright baby. Lay down and you can go right back to sleep. I'll be here when you wake up." I kiss her forehead and in a matter of seconds she is fast asleep once again. I stroke her hair a little bit longer, as I am not ready to face the two men in the room with me.

"Christian. Son—"

"I'm not your son. You expect me to believe that you don't want anything from me? You just so happen to know that your youngest son is a billionaire and all you want is a happy reunion? I don't fucking think so. I have a family and there isn't any room for more."

Carter stands up taller. He looks a lot like me when I am playing my dominant role. This is the scariest shit I have ever witnessed. "Christian I will have you know that I own a construction company that stretches nationwide and we're thinking about going global. I make a shit ton on money and I don't need anyone else's. Blake is a doctor and a damn good one and he couldn't give two shits about the bottom of your bank account. Now if you're finished throwing accusations around I'd like to sit down and get to know my son." He stretches his hand out to indicate the seats in the room. I look at him in disbelief and he simply stares back at me. I turn and go sit in the chair I was napping in. They sit in the chairs on either side of me. I am not sure what I should say so I say nothing at all.

"Wow. I can't believe it's been twenty-four years since the last time I saw you. You and Blake were so excited about your birthday party, but then you got sick with the stomach flu. You were so sad and it took Blake hours to make you feel better. We were just gonna keep the party small, just you, me, your mom, and Blake. But when we came back from the bakery… Christian I can't begin to tell you how upset I was over losing you son, and I'm sorry that I couldn't find you. By the time I figured out where your mom went it was already too late. The orphanage told me a family named the Greys had adopted you, but they wouldn't tell me where they lived or anything. I told them I was your father, but that kept telling me about that confidentiality shit. I did everything I could to find you and I never gave up. I loved you so very much and billionaire or not, I am proud of the man you've become. The Greys have obviously done a damn good job raising you."

I have no words that can express the emotion I feel behind his speech. He is crying and I'm not sure he even realizes it. I am on the verge of tears myself. Blake clears his throat.

"I'm glad to see you again as well. I was young when you were taken, but I was old enough to remember the brother I'd lost. You meant the world to me. I was so excited to find out I was going to get a baby brother. Dad kept saying you were going to be a girl, but I knew better. Every night after you were gone I would sit and think of all the things we would do together once I had you back. We were going to go to that carnival that you were so excited about and I wanted to show you my new race cars that dad had bought me to cheer me up. Excuse me." He stops for a moment as his voice cracks and he wipes his eyes. "I still have them."

"You still have what?" I ask.

"The race cars. I never opened them because I was waiting for you to come home so we could play together. I kept them, even when I gave up hope I kept them. I wanted you to be happy when you came home and take your mind off of anything that may have been unpleasant for you while you were away so I wanted us to open the cars together and…" He shrugs. "I don't know. It's stupid."

"I don't think it's stupid. It's actually the most thoughtful thing anyone has done for me." I look over at Ana. "Well, almost the most thoughtful. If you'd like to show me what the race cars look like I'd be more than happy to see them." I look up at Blake and he smiles widely at me.

"I'd love to little brother. I'd love to." I nod at him and I turn to look at Carter.

"I'm not sure what to make of all of this just yet, but I think my family has a right to know that you're here."

"Yeah I'm sorry about that. Dad is rather impatient. He wasn't supposed to be here until Saturday."

"I wanted to see you. I didn't want to wait."

"It's fine, but—" I am interrupted when my mother walks in the door.

"Christian darling I—" She stares between the three of us for a long time before finally speaking. "Oh. My. God." Then she faints.

**A/N: I must tell you guys that I made myself cry while I was writing this chapter lol. I thought it was very heartfelt.**

**This is a chapter update just to ask you guys to please review the chapters. I love love love your feedback. Don't leave the story hanging. Thanks! Happy Reading! :)**


	17. Chapter 17: Family Feud

I open my eyes and I see grey eyes, brown eyes, and two heads of long copper hair leaning over me.

"Ana? Are you alright?"

"I'm fine. Can you guys back up just a bit?" I try to sit up, but once again I'm restrained to the bed. "Why do you keep doing this?!" I ask Blake furiously.

"You keep having bad dreams and you continuously fight me. I had to make sure you didn't hurt anyone or yourself in the process."

"Undo them. I'm fine now."

He shakes his head sadly at me and says, "I'm sorry Ana, but it's for your own safety. I can't run the risk of you hurting yourself. Now if you would like to sit up then I can—"

"I don't want you to sit me up I want these damn cuffs off of me so I can sit up myself!"

"I'm sorry Ana. I'm going to lift the upper half of the bed to but you in a sitting position." He pushes a button on the bed and lifts me until I am nose to nose with Christian.

"Do something," I tell him.

"I'm sorry baby, but I'm with Blake on this. You haven't been yourself the past few hours and they've had to come back in here and sedate you again. It's fucking torture to have to watch you like this, but I want you to get better and if he says that this is best for you then it's probably good not to argue."

"I can't believe you're siding with him! I feel like I'm in fucking prison! Uncuff me NOW!" I yell at Blake.

"No!" I sit in shock as he yells back at me. We stare at each other for a long tense moment before I look down and turn my head away from him in defeat.

"You have got to be fucking kidding me," I hear Christian murmur.

I hear Blake clear his throat and say, "You have a few visitors if you feel up to seeing them. One is standing outside and the other called your room a few minutes ago to say she and a friend were on their way. Would you like to have company?"

I shrug at him without looking up. I hear him sigh and say, "Well I'll let them in." I hear the door open and close. I look up at Christian.

"So you don't fight back with him, but you give me all types of hell when I yell at you?"

"Not now Christian." The door opens and Mia pokes her head in.

"Hey. I heard you weren't doing so well so I brought you something to make you feel better." She reaches for something and opens the door wider. She drags in the biggest teddy bear I've ever seen in my life holding a heart saying 'GET WELL SOON!'

"Wow Mia. It's awesome. Thank you." I attempt to reach out and touch it, but I am stopped by the damn bed restraint. I stare down at it. I see the arm of the bear slide over my hand. I look up at Mia and she has a sad knowing smile on her face. I smile back and the soft fur of the teddy bear.

"I thought you might like it. I bought the biggest one I could find. I named him Snowflake because he has white fur, but feel free to change it."

"I think Snowflake is perfect." We laugh and talk for a few minutes and she doesn't say anything about my bed restraints which I am thankful for. In the middle of our conversation the door swings open and Kate and Jose walk in. She is about to say something when she looks over and sees Mia sitting next to me. If I look hard enough I can see the steam rising from the top of her head.

She walks in further and sits next to me. "Hey honey. How do you feel?"

"I'm alright right now. I still have a fever, but at least I don't feel like I have to hurl my guts in a trashcan." She laughs at that and her eyes swing back to Mia when she joins in and she abruptly stops. I look over at Jose. "Hey. Do you want to sit? There's another chair over by Christian."

"Sure thanks. I hope you're not in too much pain Ana. Sorry we couldn't make it here sooner. Both Kate and I have been in Portland for my art show and neither of us knew anything until Kate got a call from some guy named Elliot."

"Oh my God I missed your show. I'm so sorry."

"Please Ana. You're in the hospital. I'm not sure there was much you could do." He smiles at me and goes to sit down. I look at Christian and raise my brow in question.

"I wasn't concerned with telling anyone. Mom came and asked if I wanted her to send word to your friends and family. Well that's what she came to ask before… Well you know." That must be what she wanted before she fainted. After what felt like a second of sleep I woke to find a comatose Grace lying on the floor before being surrounded by men.

"Why the hell are in bed restraints?" I am jolted from my thoughts at Kate's sudden question.

I try to answer, but I don't know what I did while I was asleep to call for these God awful things. It must have been the nightmares… I shudder a bit and look at Kate, but before I can answer Mia speaks up. "I think we should get you some food. Are you hungry?"

"I would love—"

"Um excuse me. I asked her a question."

"Well I don't think Ana is very comfortable talking about the bed restraints."

"How would you know what she's comfortable with?" Mia looks at her in complete shock.

"Kate. Enough." I am also shocked at her open hostility.

"No I want to know. How would you know what she's comfortable with? In fact how would you know anything about her at all? Why are you even here?"

"Kate! What is wrong with you?"

"I should go…" Mia stands and makes to grab her purse.

"No! You're not leaving. Sit down. Kate apologize."

"No. Why should I?"

"Because you are acting like a spoiled child and you're being rude now apologize."

She sits back, crosses her arms, and looks at me defiantly. "She doesn't even know you. She just met you a few days ago, but now she's bringing you gifts and chit-chatting like you've known each other your whole life. First she makes a move on my brother and now she wants my best friend too? What's next, you gonna dye your hair blonde?"

"Kate! Wait, what?"

"She fucked my brother!"

"Excuse me?" Christian, who had been sitting silently in the corner, is now standing next to Mia.

"Christian I haven't slept with anyone. Ethan and I met at my restaurant. I went in to check on a problem in the kitchen and he and Kate were there having dinner. I went over to say hello and we kind of hit it off, but I haven't had sex with him and if he's told you differently it's not true."

"So my brother's a liar now?"

"Kate did he tell you they had sex or did you just assume they did?"

"Ethan doesn't come strolling in at two in the morning looking like he's on fucking cloud nine for some damn dinner and conversation."

"So are you calling my sister a liar?" Christian's eyes are blazing and Mia is on the verge of tears.

"Well if the shoe fits then—"

"SHUT THE HELL UP!" All eyes are now on me. I blush at my outburst, but I continue anyway. "Kate why are you being so mean to Mia? She hasn't done anything to you and whether she slept with Ethan or not," I look between Kate and Christian. "They are both adults and they can do as they please. They don't need their older siblings trying to fight their battles."

"But she—" Kate starts to interrupt and I explode.

"For God's sake I am in the hospital with a fever! I feel like shit, I've been beaten black and blue, and I'm strapped to a fucking bed. So shut the hell up about your problems and somebody call a nurse and get me some damn food!"

The room is still for a moment before it erupts into activity. I sit back in the bed in a huff. I know this little squabble isn't over. Kate has always held out hope that one day Ethan and I would get together because he's had a crush on me forever and that we would be more than just best friends. We'd be sisters. That's why she doesn't like Christian and now it's damn sure why she doesn't like Mia. I look over at her and I feel sad. Our world has changed so much in less than a week. I try to look at the world through Kate's eyes. Maybe she sees me marrying Christian and Mia and I becoming sisters and having a closer bond than she and I ever did. No wonder she feels threatened. When she comes to reclaim her seat I roll my arm over in the restrain so that my palm is face up. She takes it and squeezes. She looks up at me and I smile at her. She's smiles back and scoots in to lay her head on my shoulder. "You're my sister no matter what," she whispers.

"I know," I tell her. Christian turns on the T.V. to have something fill the silence as we wait for my food to arrive.

* * *

"So?"

"So what?" Mia looks up at me and frowns. We are sitting in the corner of Ana's room. Kate and Jose have long gone and Ana has drifted off to sleep after throwing up everything she ate for almost a half hour. I run my fingers through her hair softly as I answer Mia.

"Who is Ethan and why haven't you said anything about him?"

"Because it's my business and I knew you and Elliot would go crazy over it. Plus you were kind of out of touch with everyone over the past few weeks. This is the most we've seen you in nearly a month."

"Why didn't you invite him to dinner the other night? Elliot invited Kate."

"I kind of figured she didn't like me as it was. Inviting him to dinner would have been a disaster. What's her deal anyway?"

"She has a protective streak when it comes to Ana." I frown slightly when I think of my own possessiveness.

"Did they used to be a couple?"

"Ana says they didn't. They have been friends since they were kids."

"I thought you said you guys were friends as kids."

"We were in out teens. They go back further than that. Kate moved away before Ana and I met. Two years later she also moved and they reconnected."

"Oh. So when were you going to tell me about your dad?"

"How do you know?" It doesn't surprise me that she knows. Mia is just like mom. Somehow she knows everything.

"I saw him on the way up here."

"He's still here? Jesus. Dad is going to fucking lose it when he finds this out."

"He already knows."

"What the fuck? Did you tell him?"

"No I didn't tell him. Mom told him. You know how they are. She came home and dad knew immediately that something was wrong. He kept asking her and mom kept trying to fend him off and finally she caved and told him. I had stopped by to see if she was alright. I heard about her passing out and all and I wanted to make sure she was alright. I guess I can understand what happened now."

"She freaked out when she woke up. She couldn't understand it. She wanted to know why they couldn't find me if they claimed to look for me so hard and long. Turns out my mom dropped my middle name which explains why I never had one, and she changed my last name to fit hers. When mom and dad adopted me my last and middle name changed again which made it near impossible for them to locate me. It's really only by chance that they found me now. Blake took a job offer here as a surgeon to get away from the noise of New York."

"So you believe them then?"

"What other choice do I have? They both are doing quite well for themselves. They have no use for my money I don't know what else they could want. Everything they've told us so far adds up."

"But they have had a lot of time to think about the lie. You've been 'missing' for twenty-five years according to them. Don't you think that's a long time to come up with something that sounds like it adds up?"

"Why is everyone so quick to demonize them? They haven't done anything questionable. Well except Blake. Sometimes I want to kill him for the way he stares at Ana. Other than that they have proven to be decent people. The man has only been here for one day. Just let this play out."

"If you trust them then so do I." She looks up at me with acceptance and support. This is why I love her.

"So when do we get to meet this Ethan character?"

She laughs and says, "Soon. We should get you guys sorted out first." She gestures to me and Ana. "Do you love her?"

"Yes I do. I've been in love with her for a long time now. I just didn't realize it."

"I think you guys are good together. And she's really pretty. I thought I was being nice by coming to see her. I just wanted to be her friend because you like her so much, but it looks like that position has been filled and there isn't room for more." She looks down at her hands.

"Hey. Forget about Katherine Kavenaugh. Ana isn't like that. She has a very big heart and there will forever be room for one more with her. If she made room for me then it won't be hard at all for her to make room for a brat like you." I muss her hair and she giggles.

"Thank you. I'm sure it wasn't hard for her to make room for you. You may look scary on the outside, but I know better."

I hug her and we sit this way for a while before the door opens quietly. My mom and dad walk in.

"Christian," My dad says. "We need to talk." Then he turns and walks out of the room. I look at my mom with a raised brow.

"I'm sorry honey I had to tell him."

"How did he take it?"

"How do you think he took it? He's pissed off. He feels threatened Christian. We both do and your brother probably will as well when he finds out."

"Don't tell him yet."

"I won't. I'll let you, but right now your dad needs to speak with all of us. Mia why don't you stay here just in case Ana wakes up and you can tell her Christian will be right back."

"Alright mom. Good luck."

"Thanks." I get up and follow mom to her office. We step inside and she closes the door. She walks around the desk to stand next to dad. Carter and Blake are already seated.

Dad looks at me and says, "Why don't you have a seat son."

There is a subtle emphasis when he says son and it doesn't go unnoticed by anyone. I take the chair in front of the desk leaving Blake and Carter alone on the couch. There is silence for a moment before dad says, "Would someone like to tell me just what the hell this is all about? Who are you and why have you come here?"

I see Blake bristle, but Carter speaks first. "We've told already who we are and what we want."

"I know what you said, but I'm also not stupid. How do we even know you are who you say you are?"

"Are you blind?" Blake asks. "Look at the three of us. We look exactly alike."

"I don't give a damn who you look like. I want to know why, after twenty-five years did you pick now to reach out to him?"

"We didn't choose now," Carter says. "This all happened by chance."

"That's bullshit!" My dad yells.

"Dad calm down," I say.

"No I will not calm down. These sons of bitches think they're just going to come here and take advantage of you. I won't let that happen. When Grace and I became parents we swore to protect our kids and I'll be damned if I'll see my son hurt." He looks at me and his eyes soften. "Damn it Christian, you've been through enough."

My heart warms to hear my dad talk about me this way. I know my parents love me, but I still have a hard time believing it.

"Look," Carter says. "We aren't trying to take away your family if that's what you think. We're simply asking to be part of it. You may love him like he's your own, but he's my son and I think I deserve to be in his life."

"Now wait just a damn minute!" I look up startled to hear this come from my mother. "We love him _like_ he's our own? You may not be able to understand this Mr. Frost, but whether I bore them or not, these are my children and they are my own. I have spent twenty-five years with him and I think I know him a hell of a lot better than you do. I was by his bed when he had nightmares. It was us who saw him off on his first day of school. Carrick taught him how to shave and what it meant to be a man. So don't tell us how we love _our_ son because you could never do for him the things that we have. Now you can be in his life, but just know that _we_ are his parents. We're the reason that you can sit here and think that you can demand the world of us. We're the reason that Christian is as strong as he is. We loved him and we brought him back to life. So if it's sympathy you want for the son you lost you won't find any here. We are proud of the little boy we got and we're damn proud of the man we raised."

There is a shocked silence in the room before I finally break it. "Ana needs as much support as she can get, but she doesn't need any hostility around her. I need her to stay calm. I would like for all of us to have a small family day in here room. It might cheer her up, but this tension has to go. I can barely deal with this shit as it is."

"Christian!"

"Sorry mom. Are we agreed?" After a tense moment everyone nods. "Good. Now I have to get back to my girl. Unless someone is dying I'm not leaving her side until she's better. Leave her out of this. She's been through enough and I need her to get better. So when you walk in that room tomorrow leave this shit at the door. Ana doesn't need any more stress added on her. She's already about to go half insane about those damn bed restraints." I shoot Blake a look and he looks away. "Don't mention them when you come in there." With that being said I stand up and leave the room. I don't need this shit right now. We can have this family war later. Right now Ana needs my full attention. I take out my phone and make a call. "Flynn. Can you come see Ana tomorrow? She's in bad shape and with all the shit I've got going on she's going to need all the help she can get." Before I end the call I see Ray. I am about to wave to him when I see Carla behind him with another man who I can only assume is her husband Bob. They walk into Ana's room before I can get to them. Shit.

_**~Please Review Guys. Thanks!~**_


	18. Chapter 18: Forgive and Forget

**A/N: Hey guys. Lots of people have been asking about Fifty Shades Lost. I am going to update it I just don't know when yet. Also I can't update the stories as often as I'd like. I just started my sophomore year in college and I am also working now. Please be patient with me. I will keep giving you chapters if you just give me time. Thanks for your support and Happy Reading! :) **

* * *

_I'm cold. Why am I so cold…? I look around and I see a mirror. I walk over to it, but there is no reflection of my image. What the hell? I hear noise and I turn to see where it's coming from. I see _him_. He is grinding his body against some poor girl's lifeless body. I run over to stop him, but he is already finished. He gets up and zips up his pants. He kicks the girl in the side and looks up at me with a horrible smile. "You were even better than I imagined Annie." What? I look down in cold fear and see that the lifeless body on the floor is mine. There are purple bruises around my neck in the shape of fingers. He raped and strangled me to the point of death. He is laughing at what he's done. I scream at him to stop. It's not funny. I want to kill him. He has taken my life. He has taken everything. Everything… _

"Ana! Oh God Ana please wake up."

I open my eyes to see a frantic Mia hovering over me. "Mia? What's wrong?"

"Oh my God I didn't know what to do! You were crying out and moaning and pulling against the restraints. It looked like it hurt on this side so I sort of unbuckled it…"

I look down at my left wrist and see that it has a deep red cuff mark around it. Holy hell. "I didn't hurt you did I?"

"Well when I unbuckled it your hand kind of came flying up and I didn't have time to back away and it slapped me in the face, but it wasn't a hard slap." I see a faint pink mark on the left side of her face from where I obviously hit her.

"Mia I'm so sorry!"

"It's alright Ana. I'm fine. I'm more worried about you. Are you alright? Do you want to talk about it?"

"I really don't remember what _it_ is, but thank you. I think you should buckle me back up. Maybe Blake was right." She nods and puts my wrist back in the bed restraint then she sits and holds my hand. I look around. "Where is Christian?"

"He went to go talk to mom and dad about… family stuff."

"Carter is still here. Does your dad know or is that what they're talking about now?"

"Yeah dad knows. Mom told him. They're all in there talking right now. Dad is sort of pissed."

"I can only imagine."

My room door opens and my dad walks through with the same look on his face he had the last time he came to see me in the hospital. I'm not surprised when my mother trails in behind him and the man who came with her before who I assumed was Bob.

"Hey Annie," dad says while he rubs the back of his neck.

"Hey daddy."

"How are you feeling? I heard you were sick and that you were kidnapped. Can't you stay out of trouble kid?"

I grin at him and shrug. "Well you know me. I'm a magnet for trouble."

He laughs and sits next to me. He turns to look at the pair behind him who are still hovering near the door. Bob is the first to move. "Hello Ana. Your mother has told me so much about you. I'm Bob." He sticks his hand out and all I can do is stare at it.

"Sorry Bob I can't shake your hand. I'm a little tied down if you haven't noticed." He looks down and notices the bed restraints and begins to apologize profusely and back away.

"Why are you in these things?"

"Beats the hell out of me. Mia could probably tell you."

"Who the hell is Mia?"

"Hello sir. I'm Mia. I'm Christian's sister." She stands and offers her hand.

They shake and dad asks, "Alright Mia. Why is my daughter tied down like an animal? What kind of hospital is this?"

"Well Ana has been having pretty bad nightmares that she doesn't seem to remember. When her arms and legs are free she tends to lash out at anyone who gets too close."

"Hmm. Well she's awake now so I'm letting her loose." He starts working on the right cuff when the door swings open again nearly knocking my mother down.

"Hey watch it!" I yell as Christian and Blake walk through the door.

"Sorry." Christian mutters to my mother and walks over to me.

"Sir you can't take off her restraints. She's in them for a reason," Blake tells my dad.

"I've been made aware of the reason. Seems to me that you should only have her in these God awful things when she's asleep, not hogtied and put on display for everyone that walks in the room." He continues with my right ankle.

"Sir I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to refrain from removing any more of the bed restraints." Blake places his hand on my dad's shoulder. Dad freezes and looks at Blake's hand. He turns to him and stands to his full height.

He brushes Blake's hand away and pokes him in the chest. "And are you going to stop me?" My dad asks furiously.

Blake stares at him in shock for a moment and then shakes his head and mutters, "No sir."

"I didn't think so. I refuse to sit here and watch her like this. Annie, how have you been going to the bathroom?"

"They gave me a catheter." I shudder at the thought.

"That's disgusting." Mia says.

"Tell me about it…" I say.

"Well now you won't have to worry about that," Dad says as he finishes the last cuff. "This is absolutely ridiculous." He walks back around the bed while shooting Blake daggers with his eyes. He sits down and we fall into easy conversation. As we talk I keep sneaking quick glances at my mother who is still standing silently by the door watching Ray and I interact with a small look of envy in her eyes. I feel bad that Ray is getting all of my attention. As much as I want to hate my mother, I just can't. I love her so much sometimes that it hurts and I miss her.

"So mom, Bob, how's Georgia?" I ask them.

My mother's eyes light up and she straightens a bit before answering. "Georgia is wonderful. The beach is very pretty in the summer. It's hot most of the time of course because it's the south. It's probably not the kind of weather I'm sure you've grown used to by now, but it's still quite lovely. You should come visit sometime. I'm sure you'd like it there." She finishes quietly as if she isn't quite sure she should have offered the last part. I decide that I should make her feel more comfortable.

"I'm sure I would like it. Maybe I'll come down for Christmas or something."

She smiles really big and says, "Bob and I would love that. Wouldn't we Bob?"

"Of course, we'd love to have you over." I look at Bob. He seems nice enough, but after _him_, the only man in my mother's life I'll ever trust again is Ray.

"Do you have kids Bob?" I ask.

"Yes I do. I have a daughter and a son, both married and with kids of their own now."

"And where to they live?"

"They stay in Savannah just like us, just a couple of miles away. My son lives in the city and my daughter has a house on the beach."

"That's nice. Do your kids visit often?"

"They do. They're absolutely smitten with your mom. She's great with them and the little ones."

I feel a pang of hurt and jealousy in my chest, but I smile and say "I'll bet she is."

This doesn't fool my mother. She quickly says, "I talk about you nonstop. You're practically family to them because I talk about you so much. They've been asking about when they could meet you because you seem like such a pleasant person which you are Ana. You're a beautiful, wonderful, intelligent girl and I'm sorry." She tearing up and so am I. "I'm sorry for everything."

I lift my arms and she walks over to me and embraces me in a tight hug, my ribs scream in protest, but I don't care. I have missed this. I've missed her.

"I love you so much Ana."

"I love you too mom, no matter what." We sit like this for a while and the pain begins to take a toll on me. Before I can move to tell my mother, Christian is at my side.

"Alright, I don't mean to break this up, but Ana's ribs aren't the best of shape right now."

"Oh God honey I'm so sorry!"

"It's fine mom," I say as I wipe my eyes. There is an awkward silence in the room before everyone erupts into conversation or mutter about needing coffee. I don't really pay attention to any of them as I lie back in my bed and hold my mother's hand.

* * *

Mia, Blake and I walk out of Ana's room to give her and her family some privacy. We walk down the hallway where we run into our parents. All of them. We all stand there for a moment in silence. Before anyone can say anything stupid I say, "We're going to the cafeteria for coffee." And I turn and walk in the direction of the cafeteria, figuring that anyone who wants to join me will follow. Once we've all ordered, we sit down and fall into a tense conversation with the exception of my dad who just sits and openly glares at Blake and Carter while he strokes my mother's back.

I drain my cup and Carter says, "Why don't I get you another?" He stands and pats me on my back. I panic as I stand abruptly, tipping my chair over, and grab his wrist. Carter looks dumbfounded as does Blake. My mother stands and slowly walks towards me.

"Christian sweetheart, it's alright. He doesn't know. Why don't you sit back down?"

I don't hear her. Right now all I can see and hear is _him_, the crack whore's pimp. I can smell the stench of cigarettes and hear his laughter. No. Not again.

"What did I do?" Carter asks in hurt confusion. His voice pulls me back to reality and I slowly release him from my aggressive grip.

I run my hands through my hair. "You didn't do anything. I'm sorry I just need some air." I storm out of the cafeteria and walk briskly until I get outside. I can't blame him because it isn't his fault. He doesn't know not to touch me. _Just like it wasn't Ana's fault? _I shake my head and try to will the memory to stay at bay, but it comes anyway…

_~Eleven Years Earlier~ _

"_What's that?" Ana asks me. I am hanging upside down on the monkey bars. Ana is standing behind me and even though I can't see what she's looking at I know what she's talking about. I sigh and let myself flip down._

"_It's nothing." _

"_You won't let me touch you, but you'll let that woman abuse you?"_

"_Can we not do this today Ana? I'm not in the mood for your bitching about Elena. When are you going to let it go?"_

"_When are you going to let her go? Can't you see what she's doing to you?"_

"_Ana. Enough."_

"_No it's not enough apparently. You're a masochist and one day she's going to turn you into a sadist just like her." _

"_I SAID THAT'S ENOUGH! SHUT THE FUCK UP! And don't be a hypocrite Ana. At least I like it when she hits me. You sit in a house and let a man three times your age beat the shit out of you and you don't listen to me when I want to help you so we're really not that different. Is that what you like Ana? Do you like for men to hit you? Is that why you don't want to be with me, because I don't slap you around like he does?"_

"_Shut the fuck up Christian. You know that I don't have a choice, but to stay there. You on the other hand can tell that bitch to shove her riding crop up her ass and walk away, but you're too much of a coward!" She looks down and whispers, "You won't even do it for me." _

"_You're not my girlfriend so it really doesn't matter now does it?" I am still pissed at her for shooting me down for being with Elena. _

"_I would be if you weren't so hung up on that evil woman."_

"_Well maybe I don't want you anymore. Have you ever thought of that?" I know I don't mean it, but I can't stop myself from saying it. _

_She looks at me with hurt eyes. "Well then why do you even bother coming around? Why don't you run back to your master like the good little puppy she taught you to be?"_

"_I don't have time for this. I'm going home. Call me when you grow up." _

_I turn away from her and I don't stop when I hear her rush after me. I hear a gasp and then something lands in the middle of my back and shoves me down to the ground and then it lands on me. I begin to panic and I quickly roll around and grab whatever my hands land on and yank it off of me. I gasp when I see that I have two handfuls of Ana's hair in my hard grip. She is crying and kicking at me in her attempt to make me let go. I release her and back away. _

"_I tripped," she whispers. _

"_Ana…" I move toward her to pull her into my arms and she flinches away from me and looks at me with fear in her eyes. "Ana please…" She's never looked at me that way before and it's breaking my heart. I try to move close to her again, but instead of coming to me she gets up and runs down the street as fast as her legs can carry her. "ANA!" I get up and run after her, but she's too far ahead of me. By the time I get to her house she is locked inside. _

_I climb the tree and knock on her window. Her bedside lamp is on and I can see her lying on the bed crying. I knock on the window again. "Ana please let me in." She gets up and closes the curtains. I knock again and again, but she continues to ignore me. I sit back in the tree and pull my jacket tighter around me. I look up at the sky. The sun is setting and it looks like it's going to rain. I look back at Ana's window and I lean forward to knock again, but still there is no answer. I sit in the tree beside her window so long that I start to doze off. When I open my eyes the sun has set and I hear screaming coming from Ana's room. I rush forward in the tree to look through the window, but I can't see anything. The curtains are closed tight. I am about to punch my way through when the screaming stops. I hear the door slam and a few long moments later the light turns off. I knock again._

"_Ana please. Let me in." I rest my hand on the window. "I'm not leaving until you let me in." After a few minutes when she still doesn't answer I sit back in the tree. Hours pass by before I finally hear the window slide up. I climb inside and find Ana lying on the floor in a ball. "Oh baby." I pick her up and turn on her lamp. Her nose is bleeding and her hair is all over her head. There is a blossoming bruise on her left cheek. I am going to kill that son of a bitch. I try to clean her face, but the blood has dried. She reaches under the bed and retrieves a sports water bottle. I take it from her and squirt some of the water on the sleeve of my jacket and I wipe her face off. I turn off the lamp and climb in the bed with her. We get under the cover and I stroke her arm starting at her elbow and I work my way up until I am at the nape of her neck. I pick my hand up to brush her hair from her face. Her whole body tenses. _

"_Don't," is all she says._

"_I'm sorry Ana. I didn't mean to pull your hair. You fell on my back."_

"_It was an accident. Do you honestly think I would have done that on purpose?"_

"_Well we were arguing."_

"_Goodnight Christian." I grab her by the shoulders and turn her around to face me. I lean down and kiss the exposed side of her neck over and over again until I hear her sigh and melt into my touch. _

"_Goodnight Ana."_

I shake my head. That was the worst day of my life and I swore that I would never touch Ana's hair again. I never forgave myself for doing that to her no matter how many times she told me it wasn't my fault.

I turn and go back inside and walk back up to her room. I open the door and her parents are seated on the right side of her bed so I walk to the open side.

"Christian what's wrong?"

Instead of answering her I cup both sides of her face and give her the deepest, most passionate kiss I can muster. She is taken by surprise, but she immediately responds. I break the kiss and rest my forehead on hers. "I love you."

"I love you too. Christian what happened?" She asks breathlessly.

"Carter touched my back and I freaked out on him. Then I remembered when you did it by accident and my response."

"Your response was also an accident."

"That's no excuse. I should be more careful with you."

"Christian that was eleven years ago."

"I don't care. I'm sorry Ana. For everything."

"And I forgive you for everything."

We look deeply into each other's eyes for a moment before I say, "Move in with me."

Her eyes widen. "What?"

"So much has happened in just a few days. Imagine what could happen in weeks or months. Ana I can't bear the thought of losing you again. I want to know you are always safe. Move in with me."

"Christian I don't know. Everything is moving a bit fast."

"Ana we've know each other since we were teenagers."

"But we haven't known each other as adults. Things are different. We aren't the same."

"Then let's get to know each other. Just think about it baby," I say when she would have protested.

"I will, but right now I guess I'm a resident of the hospital." We both laugh.

The door opens and two conservatively dressed men walk in. "Miss Anastasia Steele?"

"Yes?"

"I'm Detective Barnes and this is my partner Detective Wilks and we'd like to ask you a few questions about your unfortunate event a few days ago and the deaths of Stephen Morton and Leila Williams."

Just what she needed. Some damn law enforcement coming in and harassing her about murder and scaring her to death. Fucking great.

* * *

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